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Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters [Kindle Edition]

Andrew Ashling
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: £2.27 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Book Description

These stories are fast food, ice creams, snacks. Right after eating them, you will feel hungry again. They have no nutritious value whatsoever, but I hope you'll find it tasty.
Ever thought about how it would be if you were in love with three persons at once? And all three were in love with you? And with each other? And you lived together? And you all were guys? Wouldn't it just be like a family? That is what Alan thinks...
Alan is a bit rude and he sees and has so much sex, that he talks constantly about it, almost without realizing it. If male on male sex, graphic scenes or course language offend you, this is probably not for you.
Every chapter is a little story by itself, but in the same setting. Yet it is best to read them in sequence, as each story tells you something more about one or more of the characters.
These stories are just a collection of slices of life. Naturally, I hope you will enjoy them. If I can make you smile once or twice, I will consider my goal accomplished. Hell, I'll settle for a raised eyebrow.

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Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1244 KB
  • Print Length: 82 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Ormidon Publishing (1 May 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004YWKA1O
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #439,817 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

My current project is the Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse series. By now there are several volumes. Not certain if you want to invest that much time and money in a long, epic series? Individual book samples too short? To help you decide the first twelve chapters (60,000+ words) of Bonds of Hate, the first book, are online as a free read: http://www.ximerion.com/sample-chapters/bonds-of-hate-the-first-twelve-chapters/
---------------
I started writing in January 2009, mainly gay, m/m, slash, yaoi stories. I suppose, with a few exceptions, I should call them novels really.
I have no great literary ambitions. I just tell stories, and I try to do it as good as I can, hoping other people will enjoy reading them.
Most of them have explicit scenes in them, often of a rather kinky nature. But they're only the raisins in the pudding, because -- as I already said -- I actually enjoy telling stories. That means there always is a plot, or, more often, several plots.
I love exploring what makes people tick, what makes them do the often quirky things they do. Also, I enjoy playing with expectations, boundaries, taboos even.
I'm a self publisher by choice.
---------------
website: http://www.ximerion.com

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Customer Reviews

3.5 out of 5 stars
3.5 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Andrew Ashling is very good at revenge, if you read this, or "A Dish Served Cold", you will find an ingeniously wicked plotter at work.
But this is also a wonderful, funny and gratifying story.
It's as deep as you want it to be. Just because it's a light and easy read, doesn't mean it does not raise some original and interesting ideas. I also think that it is wrong to criticise writing for being accessible, it's harder to be very comprehensible than it is to be obtuse.
Although I read it a while ago, certain scenes return to me. I am sure this is how we were all really meant to live and love (and stand up for ourselves).
One complaint, those boxers the boy's wearing on the cover, they've go to come off.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars wicked 2 July 2012
By Furio
Format:Kindle Edition
Set halfway between a novel in serial form and the tales of a bard, this short M/M novel escapes any easy classification.
The five chapters are framed by five introductions and five conclusions that are nearly word by word identical. The aim was possibly that of conveying the feeling of five different tales about the same family told on five different occasions.
Despite the author's words about not having great literary ambitions this is a simple but refined structure (marred by the occasional typo).

What the five chapters portrays is the perfectly functional everyday life of four deranged and highly disfunctional young men who are involved in a long term relationship with each of the others. We are not told about their past nor about what brought them together. We are shown how they live, love and protect.
As a unit they function perfectly despite some issues, the main one being that they are not entirely honest, for example not saying to the youngest that he does not know how to make love. But after all this is entirely realistic as it is very common, among "normal" families, to be silent about things that should be voiced.
Maybe the four of them really are a "normal" family after all, in that they do not escape "normal" families' main shortcoming?

By portraying their five adventures the author also seems to satirize many aspects of the common American way of life, the juxtaposition of the four youngsters and the rest of the world exposing much that is wrong in it.
Read more ›
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting if you fancy a quick dip 6 Oct. 2011
By Stuart
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As the publisher's write-up says, these linked short stories have no nutritious value whatsoever. They are quick excerpts from the life of the four main characters who live together in a four-way relationship where love and sex flow freely between each of them. The stories contain quite graphic descriptions of the possibly unique lifestyle of Alan, Matt, Jamie and Jason. Not exactly a one-handed read but enough to set the imagination going.

If you fancy a quick dip into this book, it will keep you entertained. If you want a fulfilling book full of intrigue and meaningful prose, you'll be bitterly disappointed.

I enjoyed it for what it was.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars If I could give this fewer than 1 stars, ... 18 Feb. 2015
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
If I could give this fewer than 1 stars, preferably minus stars, I would. Such utter awful drivel I can't even describe.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.1 out of 5 stars  7 reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Comedy, kink, sex - Andrew Ashling 1 Jan. 2012
By Robert S. Tyler - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters

I took a break from Andrew Ashling's series "The Invisible Chains" to read "Just Don't Mess With Us: Family Matters". Clearly Andrew had also taken a break from writing about Squires, Warlords and, well, maybe not family issues. In this story, I again love the voice he uses in writing and am impressed that, in a relatively simple tale, he can make he laugh, blush, take offense, and rethink my values. His stories don't necessarily change my values, but they do make my stretch some of the boxes in which they are housed.

Most people who admit to any kind of imagination have at least thought about living in a three way sort of relationship. You may have thought that it would be ecstasy or maybe pure hell. I'll admit to thinking about it in both ways at different times. Andrew of course takes this idea, as well as a number of others, a step or two farther than at least I have contemplated.

The stories here were quick reads, hilariously funny, over the top, full of taboos, sexy, and really well thought out. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and flew through it. Read it if you like men, sex, and some fun kink. On the other hand, Andrew might not be the best author to read if you are easily offended or are not interested in being made to think about "family values", unless you like to take offense, which some people do...

Thank you for another wonderful read Andrew Ashling!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars wicked 2 July 2012
By Furio - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Set halfway between a novel in serial form and the tales of a bard, this short M/M novel escapes any easy classification.
The five chapters are framed by five introductions and five conclusions that are nearly word by word identical. The aim was possibly that of conveying the feeling of five different tales about the same family told on five different occasions.
Despite the author's words about not having great literary ambitions this is a simple but refined structure (marred by the occasional typo).

What the five chapters portrays is the perfectly functional everyday life of four deranged and highly disfunctional young men who are involved in a long term relationship with each of the others. We are not told about their past nor about what brought them together. We are shown how they live, love and protect.
As a unit they function perfectly despite some issues, the main one being that they are not entirely honest, for example not saying to the youngest that he does not know how to make love. But after all this is entirely realistic as it is very common, among "normal" families, to be silent about things that should be voiced.
Maybe the four of them really are a "normal" family after all, in that they do not escape "normal" families' main shortcoming?

By portraying their five adventures the author also seems to satirize many aspects of the common American way of life, the juxtaposition of the four youngsters and the rest of the world exposing much that is wrong in it.
I was also wondering whether the reference to the March sisters of Alcott's Little Women is coincidental (The POV of view belonging to the second eldest who is also the bookish type -JO, the eldest "brother" being uninventive and conservative but reliable -Meg, the third eldest being frail and lost in his world of IT -Beth, the youngest being the prettiest, spoilt and fierce -Amy).

Be it as it may this is a short, hilarious read. Not for the faint of heart as it is not only graphic but also outright evil. It also gives food for some thought about life, love and everything else that counts.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A fun Romp 13 Mar. 2012
By Book Fields - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is the amazing true story of a fictional family like yours & mine and totally different at the same time. Featuring four men who have found an ideal way to live as a couple, no tri-uple, no how about a quad-ouple. Andrew Ashling who has given us one of the most thought provoking, haunting views of an alternate reality in A Dish Served Cold flips and gives us a warm, humorous, sex-filled love story. Oh my, with a healthy dose of over the top revenge that leaves the reader with a case of either the guilty giggles or the I-can't-believe-he-wrote-that indignation.Sit back and laugh a little.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars love can be found anywhere!!! 9 April 2013
By Jen - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
a friend suggested this book to me and i loved it....a wonderful book to enjoy with a good bottle of wine on a saturday night...this really is a family..may not be what people consider a "normal" family..but i ask..what is a "normal" family..the answer...a family who loves each other to go to great means to protect them...kudos andrew....what a fab author!!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Just Don't Mess With Us, Family Matters by Andrew Ashling 4 April 2012
By Elisa - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition
This is a funny romp but do not search a realistic story in here; unless you don't compare it to some frat house type of story where the boys involved always try to prove that, under 21 years old you are really not an adult. Don't get mistaken by the cover, there is very little of innocence or naivete in this book.

Actually one of the four boys, Matt, is 22 years old, and then there is Jason, 19, Jamie, 17 and Alan, the narrative voice, 19. Alan doesn't say much about how they are together, I did my own version, probably Matt found all three of them in different moment and they ended living together in Matt's house. Since there is no parents in the picture, and apparently no one of them is working, actually Jamie is still going to high school, my idea is that Matt is a trust fund boy and he is maintaining all of them. If you are wondering how Jamie, that is underage, is allowed to live with them, add to the picture that Jason is a tech wizard and not they are "officially" brothers, even if nothing brotherly is happening between them. Matt, Alan, Jason and Jamie are in a foursome, and apparently it's working really well, and that is the main incipit of each chapter, that is a single story of its own: Alan wants to prove to the reader how good they are together and how they can overcome all issues.

I have to say that some of the tricks they organize against people who did them wrong are really wicked, to a level that I almost felt pity for the object of their vengeance. Truth, it's a backslash, they attack only when attacked, but nevertheless they are merciless. That is where the not-realistic side of the story comes into view, it feels a little impossible for them to not being questioned, but I don't think realism was what the author was searching, this is a funny romp, and as such, it accomplishes its task.

Building the story in this way, each chapter a story of its own, allow the author to have an endlessly source of inspiration; Matt, Alan, Jason and Jamie's story is not a circle that is closed with the last chapter, but it's more like a series of vignettes, and if the author likes them, as I think, they are always there ready for more "devil" adventures.
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