Let me start off by saying, I love B-Movie Creature Features, hell I even have a soft side for Piranha 3DD and the Lake Placid Sequels.... But when a movie has everything wrong with it... I get pissed. To tell you in all honesty, I hated the characters.... I realize that this movie is not meant to be taken seriously and I can accept that but when a movie has such annoying characters.... I am just glad I don't watch Jersey Shore that's all I have to say about that. As for the film itself, yeah.... It was pretty much epically cheesy.
Plot: Jersey Shore, a wild place for spring breakers and locals to enjoy.... But when an oil rig disturbs a sleeping ground (or something) for albino sharks with glowing red eyes, the bloodbath will begin and it'll be up to the mocks of the jersey shore characters to save the day!
Review: In my opinion I thought that if they had done a movie where the first half or at least first quarter could've taken place in 1916 with the real jersey shore shark attacks it would've been a bit better even if it were to be a bit long, but I guess the makers of this movie (which included Fred Olen Ray, Director of Super Shark, Dire Wolf, and hell even Silent Venom) saw 12 Days of Terror and thought well, guess it is time to move onto the jersey Shore Cast.... And don't get me wrong, I like Fred Olen Rays Movies, most of the time but Jersey Shore Shark Attack was so over the top.... I mean yeah it was stupid with annoying characters but there are two ways you can make a movie's plot when its title is Jersey Shore Shark Attack, you can make it serious like 12 Days of Terror, or you can make basically a fun mockery of other shark flicks and throw in the Jersey Shores Cast. The CGI sharks were incredibly laughable and I usually try to look out for the best in the bad CGI department and I only noticed like one decent CG shot and that was with a shark ramming its frigging head into a pear.... These are without a doubt the worst CG sharks I've ever seen and trust me when I say, I have seen them all. The gore was there but farfetched and the soundtrack consisted of hip-hop and rap and I just couldn't stand it.... Jersey Shore Shark Attack was a total cheese fest and I think the movie would've been much better without the mock cast of the members of Jersey Shore. I remember when this movie came out in June and it was the first of three other movies to come on Syfy Channel that month and it was the first, but the clear better one was Piranhaconda which had immensely better CGI and characters and gore and action, Arachnoquake and Bigfoot followed and they were way better than this movie. I don't want to sound like I'm ranting because this film isn't 100% bad; it's just only 30% of it is good.
Acting: Please Don't Make Me!
Gore: To be honest this is the only shark movie I've ever scene where someone's guts gets ripped out. That being said, we also get nasty yet over-the-top severed fingers, a severed arm, lots of red water, and uh, oh yeah... lots and lots of blood spraying.... It had such over the top gore but it was gory so I shall give it credit for that.
Bottom Line: This is one of the worst shark movies I've ever seen on Syfy but then again it was better than Shark Zone or the Shark Attack Trilogy.... It wasn't the worst shark movie ever but it was definitely the worst shark movie of the year in my opinion. It was a little under decent and truly a heavily shaken mixed bag for me. Ending on a good note I dug the cheesy feel the movie had and the editing was fun to watch.
Rated R for Some Bloody Creature Violence
Is it worth the Buy on a scale of 1-10: 2
For the Movie itself on a scale of 1-5: 2