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I've Been Deader
 
 

I've Been Deader [Kindle Edition]

Adam Sifre
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £7.87
Kindle Purchase Price: £1.91
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Product Description

Product Description

Being a zombie is no picnic and it's one hell of a handicap in the romance department when you fall in love with a 'breather':

Aleta is a breather with short blonde hair and brown eyes - two of them! - and the whitest smile Fred has ever seen. Every day at a certain time she sits at her window, and every day he stands in the rubble across the street among a crowd of zombies waiting to break through the fence and eat her.

'You are beautiful, like an angel', he thinks, but all he can moan is, “Braaaiiinss."

Still, as zombies go, Fred's quite a catch. Underneath all the gangrene and rot, Fred is different. This girl will probably turn out to be yet another dead end, an infatuation, someone whose image he cannot get out of his mind and whose taste he cannot get out of his mouth, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

For breathers, it is always only a matter of time, however beautiful they are and whatever the government is assuring people.

Which makes Fred sad because he has a beautiful 11 year old son called Timmy, and Timmy may still be alive.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 402 KB
  • Print Length: 304 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Taylor Street Publishing (2 July 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008H04Z0G
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #143,241 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Reely scary laugh! 17 April 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
A keen grasp of the zombie genre combined with a devilish sense for the humour apparently unique to ghoulish practises in the world of the undead had me chuckling up a storm. I'ts gruesome enough to be funny ... a good buy for the macabre ghoul in you ... (we all have a bit of it hidden somewhere).
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just How Lively Are the Undead ? 25 Feb 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
"I've Been Deader" by Adam Sifre is, without a doubt, one of the funniest books I've read. This novel blends horror and comedy seamlessly - you really can't see the join. It was a joy to join Fred and his zombie followers in their quest for "braaaiiinnnss" and to share the emotions of his tortured poetic soul. There's a little something for everyone here. You will find yourself laughing, crying and maybe throwing up a little at times as you read it.

The book is structured in such a way that many of the chapters can be read as standalone stories until they are all skilfully brought together as the main story reaches its thrilling climax.

In a lot of ways, this book and Adam Sifre's storytelling style are reminiscent of Stephen King's "The Stand" - but I didn't laugh so much when I read that. So - Move over, Mr. King; there's a new kid on the block!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So good, it'll give you a Zomboner... 25 Feb 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Being a zombie might be bad. But there's still hope. There's still beautiful sunsets and breathers to hunt. There's still lustful urges and poetry, even though it might potentially consist of scrawling 'Braiiins' lovingly in your intended amour's entrails.

And look on the bright side. There are worse things. Worse people, for a start. Who are still out there, trying to fulfil unnatural urges of their own. Some people you don't want going to hell with you, at the end of the day.

Fred's on a mission. All he has to do to succeed, is to keep a strong head on his shoulders...

I read a review copy of this prior to publishing, and I'm very happy to add it to my Kindle now. If you like horror and comedy, and would chew off your own gumbooted foot rather than choose between the two, step inside. You're in for a treat :)
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars good read
First zombie book I've ever read, good introduction to the genre. Will recommend and search for another similar read, thanks.
Published 9 days ago by Eezageezauk
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud moments
Excellent read! Uses
old zombie cliches to good effect and manages to successfully mix horror and humour! Definitely highly recommended!
Published 1 month ago by Sharon A Crozier
5.0 out of 5 stars no braaaiinnnerrrr!
any book with the power to make the reader laugh out loud (a number of times), is to be recommended. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Craig White
3.0 out of 5 stars Just don't know...
I downloaded this book based on previous reviews and I have to say it just... it just did not grab me! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Teodora
3.0 out of 5 stars An interesting read
I was wondering how you make zombies funny and keep it in the first perspective and this book seems to have done that. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Geordie Lad
5.0 out of 5 stars Grreeeeaaattttt....
You quickly find yourself feeling empathy for the main character when you begin this book, something that is particularly surprising because he is a zombie - not just any old... Read more
Published 7 months ago by willie wit
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting
I'm not a zombie devotee but do find there are some fine stories in the genre.

I've been deader is well written and does a good job of telling a fine story. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Combat Wombat
4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable zombie fest
I love Zombie's, tend to watch them rather than read them as I find Zombie books a tad repetitive but I've been Deader was very enjoyable and original. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Hollygo
5.0 out of 5 stars A Zombie Apocalypse with a difference.
From the moment I started reading "I've been Deader" I was literally glued to my phone.

This is not your normal, survivors-blast-zombies-to-pieces-for-the-fun-of-it,... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Mandy Ward
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good!
I didn't expect to enjoy this book one little bit. I downloaded it because when I saw it on the freebie list I thought "I've seen people talk about this book, I think its supposed... Read more
Published 10 months ago by ElaineG
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