Is it Me, or is it Hot in Here? [Paperback]

The word 'metamorphosis' is described in the Oxford Concise Dictionary as meaning: a change of form, (by natural or supernatural means) a change of character, conditions etc. How perfectly this word describes the state of a woman beginning -- or going through -- the trauma of the menopause! Is it me or is it hot in here? by Jenni Murray, should be compulsory reading. Not just for women needing help and advice on the complexities of the menopause, but also for men trying to understand why women are so complex at this time. Marcelle Smith, a Magazine Editor, once observed: " Women are like eggs, they hatch in their forties." Jenni Murray feels that her book is about, "a search for a better understanding of what is happening to us physically, what we can do about it and how we learn to make informed decisions about the best way to act as regards the medical profession, friends, children and partners." Primarily though, she hopes that through sharing our experiences of what we suffer or not, as the case may be, we find some comfort in the fact that we are not alone, that there are various strategies for making ourselves feel better and that these feelings will not go on for ever. Jenni's book covers everything in some depth including: what is the menopause? the pros and cons of HRT, alternatives to HRT, diet and exercise, "old age aint for cissies" some further reading and ends with some useful addresses. It is a marvellous book and very helpful. On a more personal level, my only complaint is that this book wasn't written earlier. Such a lot of pain and heartache could have been avoided and more questions answered. Oh well, better late than never I suppose!--Lynne Unwin.

An authoritative and accessible guide to women approaching the menopause who are not ready to take to their beds and be waited upon! --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

An authoritative yet light-hearted guide for women nearing or experiencing the menopause, featuring case studies. It covers what happens to both body and mind; how people react socially; the issue of pills and patches; natural and alternative solutions; diet and exercise; and personal appearance.

Author is keen to have feedback
Author is keen to have feedback

Jenni Murray is a journalist and presenter of Woman's Hour. (20021018) --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Introduction

'Is it me or is it hot in here?' Words I first uttered, in genuine discomfort, during an extremely hot, outside summer broadcast, only a couple of years ago. The grin of recognition which broke out around the hall was warming - which was a pity given the circumstances. The grin turned in to full-bellied laughter from the studio audience and resulted in 3000 sympathetic letters from people listening at home, thanking me for being brave enough to mention a hot flush in such a public arena.

I have to say, I hadn't realised until then that the menopause was still such a taboo, to be moaned about in private with one's best mates, but never shouted from the roof tops. (You are no doubt reading this, covered in brown paper with an inky title, perhaps Latin Primer for First Formers. A sort of latter-day Lady Chatterley, to be passed, unobserved, around your girlfriends!)

But, didn't Mrs Thatcher run the country, allegedly keeping the HRT industry extremely buoyant during her tour of duty? She was praised, even by her arch-political enemy, Shirley Williams, for the model she set for women of a certain age.

When I look back and think of when women as possible Prime Ministers were first discussed, I remember that one of the arguments always was they would probably come to power at the time when women have the menopause and they would be incapable of making any decisions. Mrs Thatcher, presumably, at one stage or another went through the menopause. There was not a single indication that she did and one ever saw anything in her behaviour that would suggest the slightest ups and downs. Since then, no one has ever said woman can't be tough enough to be politicians.

The letters suggested, though, that Thatcher, the glowering Teresa Gorman, the heavenly Helen Mirren gracing the front page of Radio Times in her birthday suit, proclaiming she was Fabulous and Fifty, or Germaine Greer claiming the right to become a crone, were not enough to convince the rest of us that the Change was something to be spoken of in polite society.

There's a hidden fear, I suspect, that if we're open about it, someone will question our right to be out there, fresh-faced and full of ourselves, on top of the job, planning a climb up Everest or rowing across the Atlantic and they'll send us back where we belong - wearing black in a darkened room, greying, knitting, sliding into cantankerous, brittle-boned senility.

But we are the Baby Boomers, the ones who rode on the coat tails of second wave feminism and reaped the benefits of the radical seeds they sowed. They tried out the poll, opened up the workplace, threw their stilettos in the bin (although I'm told no one ever actually burned the bra), made childbirth a potentially humane experience where we wrestled back some control and test-dove HRT.

Thus, when I became perimenopausal - the one to two years where you start to feel a bit down and the periods can become erratic and heavy, but don't stop - I knew to trot along to the doctor's and make enquiries. A blood test later, I was told, 'Yes you're clearly menopausal. What do you want, pills or patches?' And thanks to the sisters with challenging minds who'd gone before, I knew not to accept the medicalisation of my 'problem' as a given. I took pills for a bit, tried patches for a while and I'm having a go with natural progesterone. The medication helped the depression, but not the hot flushes and night sweats are still humungous - and that's nearly five years on. I still can't pass a mirror and see my grandmother 0- thickened waist, specs and slightly sagging chin - and quite believe it's me.

Now it's a question of checking on the bones with a density test and organising a diet and exercise that will sustain the energy levels, keep my out of the orthopaedic ward and maybe reduce my weight again. I still can't decide whether or not to go back on HRT.

As in every other area of life for women of my age, there are choices. Given today's longer life spans, lots of us will be post-menopausal for a third of our lives. As we bring up our children so much later we'll have to deal with that explosive hormonal cocktail, the menopausal woman and the teenage son or daughter. We'll have to decide whether we want to go along with a science that seeks to keep us young and nubile, either through pills and potions or the surgeon's knife, whether we want to grow old disgracefully with a hairdresser with a great line in hair dye as our constant companion, or whether we'll be graceful and grey in the distinguished manner so far only open to the male of the species.

We'll discuss all these options in this menopausal manual - and just remember one thing if you begin to waver and wonder whether the post-menopausal period will be worth living - you are never, ever going to have to worry again about getting pregnant. No more pills, caps, agonising over terminations or fiddling with condoms (unless you're planning a high old time). Women's liberation proper begins here.