- Hardcover: 192 pages
- Publisher: Gerald Duckworth & Co Ltd; First edition edition (14 Sep 1998)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0715628488
- ISBN-13: 978-0715628485
- Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 15.7 x 2 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 820,029 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description
Amazon.co.uk Review
"Like being chained to a corpse, isn't it?"This is a memoir, not a biography, with obvious resonance. John Bayley, former Professor of English at Oxford, and Iris Murdoch, philosopher and author, have been married for more than 45 years. She has shown the degenerative effects of Alzheimer's Disease for the last four years. The words quoted above were not, needless to say, his. He chronicles a shared experience that can no longer be shared except with those outside of it, and as such is vital for him as he copes, rather than grieves. He purposefully blurs the boundaries of past and present as he describes the marriage of two brilliant intellectuals, determinedly unworldly and collegiate, mixing wine and water (they are serial dippers) throughout Europe as they serenely move "closer and closer apart".
When Iris's intellect deteriorates her dependency inevitably increases, and they are "sailing into the dark" (her words) until the end of the book, when Bayley contends that the voyage is over, and they have both arrived somewhere. It is the spiritual answer to her perpetual question: "When are we going?", and provides a quietly uplifting resolution. John Bayley has written a magnificent paean to their love. Without underplaying the realities of living with someone with Alzheimer's, he writes in a moving and dignified way, without sentimentality, of a woman rather than a condition, who is still every bit his wife, if even more his dependent. He believes that their marriage released the child in Iris; now they watch Teletubbies together, wordlessly secure. --David Vincent
Review
This is the greatest love story of our age. Incomparable' OBSERVER 'A beautiful testament of love' IRISH TIMES 'A brave and poignant of a very English marriage' TIMES 'A unique glimpse into the alchemy of marriage ... a work of art' Victoria Glendinning, THE DAILY TELEGRAPH 'Love has everything and nothing to do with it. John Bayley has set the gold standard for a debased currency; changed the meaning of the word' GUARDIAN 'Exquisite ... an extraordinary love story' SUNDAY TIMES
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First Sentence
A hot day. Stagnant, humid. By normal English standards really hot, insufferably hot. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
A hot day. Stagnant, humid. By normal English standards really hot, insufferably hot. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
44 of 46 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I didn't read many books of Iris Murdoch and it wasn't because of her, that I read John Bayley's book. I discovered this book by chance.
It is by far the best book I read for a very long time. John Bayley writes about his life with Iris Murdoch, who died of Alzheimer disease. Therefore his life with Iris has not been very easy before her death.
In ordinary memoirs or autobiographies the authors tend to distinguish their experiences in good or bad (lucky or unlucky) ones. And the majority will consider the same as good or bad.
John Bayley on the other hand looks at his life totally from his own point of view. He has no fix, preconceived opinions of what is good (lucky) or bad (unlucky). Every experience can be pleasant or unpleasant. He has a wholly unprejudiced way of looking at life.
Since reading this book I try to look at my life in the same way as John Bayley. This book has given me a lot, much more than any non-fiction book about how to lead a better life.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I was bought this book and only read it to be polite. However it was actually one of the best books I've read in 2 years. I've never read any Iris Murdoch books but am interested in doing so now. It is written in a very gentle relaxing manner but is quite compulsive. This couple have led a very unusual life together - at times hilariously eccentric. I wouldn't have chosen to read about somebody intelligent dying of Alzheimers as it would have seemed a little depressing however the book is very cheerful and uplifting.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Audio Cassette
An insight into the life,and illness of a famous philospher and a writer.A most unusual life. John Bayley a professor of English himself and madly in love with this most un-conventional lady,who was his wife. Writing about their marriage he says;"Cluless as I was I did know by then that Iris had several lovers,often apparently at the same time.I also intuted that she gave her favours out of admiration and respect.Men who werelike Gods for her,were also for her erotic beings,but sex was something she regarded as rather marginal ,not an end in itself." et throughout their life together and through the long and trying years when he nursed her through her terminal illness of Althziemers disease. If one needs to restore ones faith in human nature and the love and the goodness it is capable of ,this is the book to read.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Iris
A wonderful and articulate love story which makes you think. Life is never as you imagined, you just need to make the most of it.
Published 13 months ago by Melanie J. Walsh
Iris A Memoir
I completely loved this book and would recommend it to anyone interested in Iris Murdoch. John's writing is easy and enjoyable and kept me page turning until I'd read the book in... Read more
Published 16 months ago by A Customer
Just for hardcore fans
I found this book tedious and laborous to read, as it is so boring. The husband that Iris left behind seems to glorify the young Iris untouched by Alzeimer's. Read more
Published on 26 April 2010 by Little Bea
why is there a picture of judi on the front cover
I love the way John writes about Iris as his messy and frustrating wife in such an honest way whilst always acknowledging her absolute genius and charm. Read more
Published on 29 Mar 2010 by A. Mills
disappointing!
John Bayley cared for his wife Iris Murdoch, who suffered from Alzheimer's Disease. From this "Memoir" about Iris I expected to learn something about Alzheimer's - and about the... Read more
Published on 14 Sep 2009 by M. C. Mobbs
Compelling and touching love story
As you would expect from such a mind as John Bayley this is a touching account of a love affair blighted by Alzheimer's, that never falls into the trap of sentimentality. Read more
Published on 15 Mar 2009 by Hayles
A moving account of the impact of Alzheimer's
John Bayley, distinguished academic and critic, has been married to Dame Iris Murdoch, novelist and philosopher, for more than forty years. Read more
Published on 21 Dec 1998
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