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Review
'Sympathetically and with a rare clarity, it offers penetrating insights into some of the most basic paradoxes of human relationships' Guardian
Product Description
Love is the most "natural" thing in the world. Yet we make and break relationships routinely, often without understanding why. Unravelling the desire for rewarding relationships, we must start with ourselves. Stephanie Dowrick offers a penetrating insight into how we can feel crowded in a relationship and yet miserable when alone. She reveals the underlying basis of many paradoxes of human relationships. Dowrick invites us to understand the choices we have already made, while also exploring new possibilities. Love, as she shows, is what opens us to others but it is the one thing that also helps us discover the very best in ourselves.
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Two adults sit side by side on a park bench. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
Two adults sit side by side on a park bench. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Intimacy and solitude - the secret to gaining insight into yourself and coping with relationships
23 Jun 2007
Format:Paperback
I bought this book for an assignment for my Diploma in Counselling. Looking at our own issues from a lifeline we constructed, I discovered that one theme that kept repeating itself throughout my life was a struggle between being happily in a relationship with someone and being happy in my own space, as a single person. After stumbling across this book on Amazon, it seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. Having now dipped into it with a purely academic eye, I can say that it is far better than I was expecting.
I think my initial reservations about the book were in regard to how it would be written. I rarely buy self-help books, as I often find them patronising and I question the authority of the authors. With INTIMACY AND SOLITUDE, I really didn't need to worry.
The book is written in such a way that it makes it very easy to read. Dowrick does not sound as though she is taking some high horse stance, looking down on you for having the problems that you may have. Instead, she explains why you may be encountering problems relating to initmacy and solitude, and how to balenace these within personal relationships. What I also liked about this book was that it didn't take an overly feminist viewpoint - although women may be more inclined to pick up this book, men could easily get something out of it, and whilst I was reading it I didn't feel that Dowrick was trying to turn me into a man hater for making me the way I am through inequality. Another very strong plus to this book was that it is obvious Dowrick knows her stuff. As I mentioned, I used this book for an academic essay, and so I first approached it with a critical eye. Having read other books on human development and personality for use in my essay, I was finding that links could easily be made between sound counselling or psychology books and INTIMACY AND SOLITUDE. Dowrick referenced theory and critical perspectives, yet she did so in a way that even if you had never studies psychology or cousnselling before, you would easily be able to follow the arguments.
This is a great book. Whether you are turning to it for academic reasons or for personal insights, you are bound to get what you are looking for. If you are a woman, and enjoy this book, I found that a good companion to it is Carol Gilligan's IN A DIFFERENT VOICE. Highly recommended.
I think my initial reservations about the book were in regard to how it would be written. I rarely buy self-help books, as I often find them patronising and I question the authority of the authors. With INTIMACY AND SOLITUDE, I really didn't need to worry.
The book is written in such a way that it makes it very easy to read. Dowrick does not sound as though she is taking some high horse stance, looking down on you for having the problems that you may have. Instead, she explains why you may be encountering problems relating to initmacy and solitude, and how to balenace these within personal relationships. What I also liked about this book was that it didn't take an overly feminist viewpoint - although women may be more inclined to pick up this book, men could easily get something out of it, and whilst I was reading it I didn't feel that Dowrick was trying to turn me into a man hater for making me the way I am through inequality. Another very strong plus to this book was that it is obvious Dowrick knows her stuff. As I mentioned, I used this book for an academic essay, and so I first approached it with a critical eye. Having read other books on human development and personality for use in my essay, I was finding that links could easily be made between sound counselling or psychology books and INTIMACY AND SOLITUDE. Dowrick referenced theory and critical perspectives, yet she did so in a way that even if you had never studies psychology or cousnselling before, you would easily be able to follow the arguments.
This is a great book. Whether you are turning to it for academic reasons or for personal insights, you are bound to get what you are looking for. If you are a woman, and enjoy this book, I found that a good companion to it is Carol Gilligan's IN A DIFFERENT VOICE. Highly recommended.
10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
An excellent book for anyone coming out of a serious relationship and struggling with being alone and loneliness. I keep having to give my copy away to friends and buying new ones! Written in an accesible style, with lots of real life scenarios.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Most of the relationship books I have come across before were full of the so often seen and painfully banal 'Women vs Men' or 'Mars vs Venus'. This, however, is not true for this lovely book by Stephanie, who's moved away from the 'it is in our/their nature' approach and instead deals with the emotional, sociocultural side of the subject matter.
The book delves deep into battles of relationships as well as those with loneliness. Stephanie stresses the importance of loving, understanding and caring for oneself without egoism or selfishness, and how this helps us to understand/love/care for others.
It is very easy to read, extremely insightful and even inspiring, and equally helpful to both single people having trouble coping with their loneliness, and those in a relationship having trouble understanding themselves and their partners. I took my time reading it, pondering on each paragraph, coming back to previous chapters, and can safely say I will be re-reading this book again and again.
The book delves deep into battles of relationships as well as those with loneliness. Stephanie stresses the importance of loving, understanding and caring for oneself without egoism or selfishness, and how this helps us to understand/love/care for others.
It is very easy to read, extremely insightful and even inspiring, and equally helpful to both single people having trouble coping with their loneliness, and those in a relationship having trouble understanding themselves and their partners. I took my time reading it, pondering on each paragraph, coming back to previous chapters, and can safely say I will be re-reading this book again and again.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
The Core of Relationships
I keep going back to this book, every so often. I find it encapsulates the essence of human relationships, bypasses the trap of gratification and looks at our deepest needs, and... Read more
Published 3 months ago by G. Williams
Deeply influential
This book gave me a healthy context for the fact that I'm very happy in my own company. I've had a copy for many years, and have re-read it several times, as well as lending and... Read more
Published 10 months ago by S. Adams
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