I bought this book for an assignment for my Diploma in Counselling. Looking at our own issues from a lifeline we constructed, I discovered that one theme that kept repeating itself throughout my life was a struggle between being happily in a relationship with someone and being happy in my own space, as a single person. After stumbling across this book on Amazon, it seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. Having now dipped into it with a purely academic eye, I can say that it is far better than I was expecting.
I think my initial reservations about the book were in regard to how it would be written. I rarely buy self-help books, as I often find them patronising and I question the authority of the authors. With INTIMACY AND SOLITUDE, I really didn't need to worry.
The book is written in such a way that it makes it very easy to read. Dowrick does not sound as though she is taking some high horse stance, looking down on you for having the problems that you may have. Instead, she explains why you may be encountering problems relating to initmacy and solitude, and how to balenace these within personal relationships. What I also liked about this book was that it didn't take an overly feminist viewpoint - although women may be more inclined to pick up this book, men could easily get something out of it, and whilst I was reading it I didn't feel that Dowrick was trying to turn me into a man hater for making me the way I am through inequality. Another very strong plus to this book was that it is obvious Dowrick knows her stuff. As I mentioned, I used this book for an academic essay, and so I first approached it with a critical eye. Having read other books on human development and personality for use in my essay, I was finding that links could easily be made between sound counselling or psychology books and INTIMACY AND SOLITUDE. Dowrick referenced theory and critical perspectives, yet she did so in a way that even if you had never studies psychology or cousnselling before, you would easily be able to follow the arguments.
This is a great book. Whether you are turning to it for academic reasons or for personal insights, you are bound to get what you are looking for. If you are a woman, and enjoy this book, I found that a good companion to it is Carol Gilligan's IN A DIFFERENT VOICE. Highly recommended.