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Intimacy & Desire Hardcover – 15 Oct 2009


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Intimacy & Desire + Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships + Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship
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Product details

  • Hardcover: 432 pages
  • Publisher: Beaufort Books (US) (15 Oct. 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0825306299
  • ISBN-13: 978-0825306297
  • Product Dimensions: 15.7 x 3.6 x 23.1 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 305,525 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Many couples begin marital counseling with Dr. David Schnarch with their sex lives in shambles, wondering what's wrong with them, considering divorce. One partner will complain that the other doesn't desire him, the other complains that she's married to a sex maniac. During his 30 years in practice as a marriage and family therapist, Dr. Schnarch has discovered that sexual desire problems are normal and even healthy, in committed relationships.In "Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship," Dr. Schnarch explains why couples in long term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. Through case studies of couples he worked with, Dr. Schnarch shows why normal marital conflict can be the cause of desire problems and creates a roadmap for how couples can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a font of new and powerful desire for each other. He takes it a step further, giving readers simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By S. Davidson on 25 Oct. 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
It doesn't have the depth of his earlier book Passionate Marriage but gives a good overview specifically concentrating on sexual desire mismatches in monogamous relationships.
Still very inspiring and hopeful but practical too.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Steve on 5 Oct. 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
This is an excellent book about understanding how couples' relationships work. You may be put off by all the "four points of balance" and other TM theories - sometimes it sounds like a math book - but don't be. It is long but it's absolutely fascinating. (Thanks also to the other reviewers. A lot of work and thought has gone into some of them).

The message can seem somewhat bleak. You get to fully understand where your partner is coming from by the conflict of "differentiation", because normal communication doesn't work. Then you take it from there and try to act as a team to deal with the problem of sexual mismatches. But understanding can be a great help in and of itself.

The stories in the book are very positive, however, with very good outcomes. This may be surprising given the conflict involved and the amount of theory, but I guess these couples loved each other in the first place, and that is the big plus we all forget about.

Another book which focused on the working of the relationship as the root of the lack-of-desire problem was Rekindle Your Love Life. It basically says that one partner has become stressed and fearful about sex, and it has a more down-to-earth program of changing your own negative behaviors and changing the way she sees you. The man stops the cycle of frustration and rejection, then rebuilds the sexual confidence of the woman, and only then does he start working on rebuilding the sex. It's a very positive ten point action plan, and very easy to follow - and interestingly it concurs with a lot of the theory in I & D - especially the issue of dealing with the constructed image of yourself in your partner's mind.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
If you're in a long term relationshipt, or even if you're not in a relationship at all, this book is the best thing you'll ever read about how to have good relationships with everybody you know. No easy quick fix solutions, but a sound and well formulated philosophy for life if you have the desire to change.
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