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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People Paperback – 1 Apr 2010


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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People + Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life + Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People
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Product details

  • Paperback: 174 pages
  • Publisher: Parkhurst Brothers Publishers Inc (1 April 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1935166301
  • ISBN-13: 978-1935166306
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.8 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 114,686 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Greene01 on 8 Nov 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have recently gotten divorced and have struggled to understand what really happened. And why even after divorce my ex was still having an impact on my emotions. This book was written for me. I was blown away by how the author listed behaviours my ex displayed, and with his current 'games' I have been able to identify them straight off the shelf. This book has helped me to understand why I have despite my normally strong character and beliefs allowed myself to be manipulated into doing things for him and believing him to just not understand, or bying into him being a 'victim'. This book showed me just how much of an aggressor he really was. I have been identifying these behaviour of late and not allowing him to manipulate me anymore, and he is behaving like a toddler, but still trying to get his own way, despite me making it crystal clear that this is not going to happen. I feel empowered as I can immediately recognise the strategies he is attempting to use. This book has helped me move forward in a way I never imagined I could. I realised that I had started dating men of similar problem post divorce, so for now have ceased all dating until I know I can handle my ex and am using his reactions and behaviours as my very own therapy tool. This book really has set me free from the prison my mind and emotions were in. Thank you George K. Simon
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121 of 125 people found the following review helpful By OkeMan on 27 Sep 2010
Format: Paperback
This book does what it says on the cover, although perhaps `...seriously manipulative people' might have been more appropriate. Many of the examples are of people who have manipulative characteristics so ingrained in them that they are almost psychotic, many of them falling foul of the law as a result and being almost un-rehabilitatable during detention in prison. But the underlying analysis seems to me to hold good for quite a lot of people in today's society.

At the root of the book is a questioning of the classic Freudian analysis of the human personality as driven a great deal by guilt and shame. Clearly this has been true of large parts of humanity over large parts of its existence, including many people alive today. Traditional upbringing that believes if you spare the rod you will spoil the child does clearly give rise to people whose earliest years are characterised by the experience of being told `no' and being punished when they don't take heed of this. This typically gives rise to individuals who are `neurotic' in orientation - that is, they are predominantly concerned about whether what they are doing is right and/or whether other people will approve of what they do. In some individuals this becomes overpowering, and they become unduly anxious and even unable to act with any confidence in society. The resulting stress tends to lead them to seek help, and so counsellors and psychiatrists are often working with people on their neuroses, and this becomes the common framework of the helping professions. That framework has become part of the way all of us try to deal with ourselves and with others, through the publication of popular literature which explains counselling theory to the general public.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Laura De Giorgio on 18 Dec 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
In this small book the author presents through several stories examples through which people may manipulate each other in family and business environments, and then through the tips in the last chapter offers suggestions for dealing with different scenarios. Personally, I liked that "how to" chapter of 22 pages with practical tips the best.

The most useful skills one can develop for dealing with manipulative people seem to be learning to set boundaries and becoming assertive and in that regard other books deal with these topics at much greater length, and I consider them more useful than this book.

Some of the tips for dealing with manipulative people this author suggests are:

- Accept no excuses
- Judge actions, not intentions
- Set personal limits
- Make direct requests
- Accept only direct responses
- Stay focused in the here and now
- When confronting aggressive behavior, keep the weight of responsibility on the aggressor
- When you confront, avoid sarcasm, hostility, and put-downs
- Avoid making threats
- Take action quickly
- Speak for yourself
- Make reasonable agreements
- Be prepared for consequences
- Be honest with yourself
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By A J Kennett on 16 April 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Having repeated a pattern and just come out of another relationship with a manipulator/cover aggressor this book has really helped me understand everything about my latest relationship. It is all too easy not to see these signs when you are in the middle of it all and I only wished I had read this book four years ago as it would have saved me a lot of energy. It is very true that someone in a relationship with a manipulator invests a lot of time and energy in trying to understand why they behave the way they do - anyone out there doing this - get the book and read it more than once. The final synopsis at the end truly touched me - thank you George Simon for this insightful read
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Pauline Simpson on 27 Aug 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read this book after years of being Manipulated by several people. I was at an all time low with depression and feeling suicidal. This book saved my life. I had read many books on depression and some had exercises, which if done regularly, were supposed to make me think in a different way. I even had physical symptoms and pain, which when investigated had no physical cause. It dawned on me it was all psychosomatic. With the help of my doctor I started reading the many books that should have helped but none of what I was feeling or read made sense until I read this book. It was a light bulb moment! I still went for counselling which I received about a year after I had been referred, but it was the book which had kept me going. In the end the counselor said " it wasn't me" I wasn't going mad, I had been driven to such despair by the manipulators in my life.
I later recommended this book to a friend who was also in a difficult situation with a manipulator and she was so glad to have read it too. Both she and I have also read the sequel which also enforces the notion that manipulators think and act differently and you need to deal with them in a completely different way to conventional thinking.
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