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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People [Paperback]

George K Simon
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
Price: £10.25 & FREE Delivery in the UK. Details
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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People + Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life
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Product details

  • Paperback: 174 pages
  • Publisher: Parkhurst Brothers Publishers Inc (1 April 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1935166301
  • ISBN-13: 978-1935166306
  • Product Dimensions: 21.3 x 13.7 x 1.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 15,296 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
114 of 118 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very practical as well as insightful 27 Sep 2010
By OkeMan
This book does what it says on the cover, although perhaps `...seriously manipulative people' might have been more appropriate. Many of the examples are of people who have manipulative characteristics so ingrained in them that they are almost psychotic, many of them falling foul of the law as a result and being almost un-rehabilitatable during detention in prison. But the underlying analysis seems to me to hold good for quite a lot of people in today's society.

At the root of the book is a questioning of the classic Freudian analysis of the human personality as driven a great deal by guilt and shame. Clearly this has been true of large parts of humanity over large parts of its existence, including many people alive today. Traditional upbringing that believes if you spare the rod you will spoil the child does clearly give rise to people whose earliest years are characterised by the experience of being told `no' and being punished when they don't take heed of this. This typically gives rise to individuals who are `neurotic' in orientation - that is, they are predominantly concerned about whether what they are doing is right and/or whether other people will approve of what they do. In some individuals this becomes overpowering, and they become unduly anxious and even unable to act with any confidence in society. The resulting stress tends to lead them to seek help, and so counsellors and psychiatrists are often working with people on their neuroses, and this becomes the common framework of the helping professions. That framework has become part of the way all of us try to deal with ourselves and with others, through the publication of popular literature which explains counselling theory to the general public.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing book! 8 Nov 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have recently gotten divorced and have struggled to understand what really happened. And why even after divorce my ex was still having an impact on my emotions. This book was written for me. I was blown away by how the author listed behaviours my ex displayed, and with his current 'games' I have been able to identify them straight off the shelf. This book has helped me to understand why I have despite my normally strong character and beliefs allowed myself to be manipulated into doing things for him and believing him to just not understand, or bying into him being a 'victim'. This book showed me just how much of an aggressor he really was. I have been identifying these behaviour of late and not allowing him to manipulate me anymore, and he is behaving like a toddler, but still trying to get his own way, despite me making it crystal clear that this is not going to happen. I feel empowered as I can immediately recognise the strategies he is attempting to use. This book has helped me move forward in a way I never imagined I could. I realised that I had started dating men of similar problem post divorce, so for now have ceased all dating until I know I can handle my ex and am using his reactions and behaviours as my very own therapy tool. This book really has set me free from the prison my mind and emotions were in. Thank you George K. Simon
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Barely scratches the surface 18 Dec 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
In this small book the author presents through several stories examples through which people may manipulate each other in family and business environments, and then through the tips in the last chapter offers suggestions for dealing with different scenarios. Personally, I liked that "how to" chapter of 22 pages with practical tips the best.

The most useful skills one can develop for dealing with manipulative people seem to be learning to set boundaries and becoming assertive and in that regard other books deal with these topics at much greater length, and I consider them more useful than this book.

Some of the tips for dealing with manipulative people this author suggests are:

- Accept no excuses
- Judge actions, not intentions
- Set personal limits
- Make direct requests
- Accept only direct responses
- Stay focused in the here and now
- When confronting aggressive behavior, keep the weight of responsibility on the aggressor
- When you confront, avoid sarcasm, hostility, and put-downs
- Avoid making threats
- Take action quickly
- Speak for yourself
- Make reasonable agreements
- Be prepared for consequences
- Be honest with yourself
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life Saver 27 Aug 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I read this book after years of being Manipulated by several people. I was at an all time low with depression and feeling suicidal. This book saved my life. I had read many books on depression and some had exercises, which if done regularly, were supposed to make me think in a different way. I even had physical symptoms and pain, which when investigated had no physical cause. It dawned on me it was all psychosomatic. With the help of my doctor I started reading the many books that should have helped but none of what I was feeling or read made sense until I read this book. It was a light bulb moment! I still went for counselling which I received about a year after I had been referred, but it was the book which had kept me going. In the end the counselor said " it wasn't me" I wasn't going mad, I had been driven to such despair by the manipulators in my life.
I later recommended this book to a friend who was also in a difficult situation with a manipulator and she was so glad to have read it too. Both she and I have also read the sequel which also enforces the notion that manipulators think and act differently and you need to deal with them in a completely different way to conventional thinking.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Very interesting
Published 1 month ago by ROBIN TAYLOR
3.0 out of 5 stars Abit too..
Onesided in my view. Defensive.
It acually explains alot, has great parts of advice, and more.
But i am afraid people dont understand in a deeper way, how, why, and what... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Kristian Pilgaard
4.0 out of 5 stars Understood and ready to deal with; re-reading necessary to refresh.
Advice based on much experience. Learn from someone else's hits and misses.
Points for reflection as we can all be manipulative to greater or lesser degrees.
Published 3 months ago by The Woman in Bed for a While
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent. Informative with actionable ideas
Surprisingly great book that gave me an insight into various types of manipulators, their tricks and how to confront such tricks in an assertive way.
Published 4 months ago by Daniel
4.0 out of 5 stars More about 'understanding' than 'dealing with' (manipulative people)
This easy-read book will without doubt help you apply labels to the destructive people in your life - past and present. Read more
Published 4 months ago by yla
4.0 out of 5 stars Look for certain patterns of behaviour over a period of time and if it...
The above title summarises what this book does with regard to giving easy understandable information that can enable one to recognise and understand the antics of manipulative... Read more
Published 4 months ago by I. Tregoning
1.0 out of 5 stars absolute twaddle!
absolute load of old rubbish. if you paid more than 3p incl p+p for this item then you were robbed. I never came across so much crap and I once read the Sunday Sport! Read more
Published 4 months ago by natalie wallace
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent - a bit of an eye opener
Well worth a read, thought provoking and illuminating in to all those people who great us with a smile each day.
Published 5 months ago by Caroline Denson
5.0 out of 5 stars A def must read
Such a helpful book explaining the traits of controlling people this book helped understand a little of how I found myself in this position
Published 5 months ago by Dawny
4.0 out of 5 stars very useful
I found this book to be clearly written and deals with relationship issues in different examples, some of which were very familiar if not quite painful to read as a person who has... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Maker mania
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