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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People Paperback – 1 Sep 1996


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Product details

  • Paperback: 140 pages
  • Publisher: A. J. Christopher & Company (Sep 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 096516960X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0965169608
  • Product Dimensions: 1.1 x 13.1 x 20.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 301,187 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

110 of 112 people found the following review helpful By Aeneas on 22 Jun 2007
Format: Paperback
A great little book that in a light and clear way outlines the different kinds of manipulative people and the strategies that are most commonly used by the manipulators. It also gives steps and strategies of how to deal with manipulators.

Mr Simon outlines the flaws with classical psychological theories in regard to the issue of manipulative people and why we need to move on.

He writes: "...we have been pre-programmed to believe that people only exhibit problem behaviours when they're "troubled" inside or anxious about something. We've have also been taught that people aggress only when they're attacked in some way. So even when our gut tells us that somebody is attacking us and for no good reason, or merely trying to overpower us, we don't readily accept the notions. We usually start to wonder what's bothering the person so badly "underneath it all" that's making them act in such a disturbing way....We almost never think that the person is simply fighting to get something they want, to have their way with us, or gain the upper hand."

The book is full of examples to illustrate what is being explained and on top of it there is a chapter called "The manipulative child".

Working in a school with children I found this chapter most helpful and would recommend this book to any parent, though it is equally recommendable to anyone as we all face manipulative people in daily interactions.
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30 of 30 people found the following review helpful By AMK on 22 April 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a very helpful book in identifying the various types of manipulation that exist - indeed much of the book is devoted to the various types that exist in all people. But, it's a bit thin on really getting to the bottom of the problem, a problem that the book itself highlights....which is to strengthen your own self. For that, and for a better understanding and complete strategy read, "When I say No, I feel Guilty" by Manuel J Smith. I think that the When I say no book is much more positive, and gives a very extensive 10 Bill of Rights to live by, keeping your focus on yourself, instead of your manipulator. The two books could work well together. In Sheeps Clothing as a good first step, and then WISN,IFG as the second and rest of your life final step.
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84 of 87 people found the following review helpful By sleepyvinny on 23 April 2007
Format: Paperback
This is a fairly short book, the edition I've got runs to just under 150 pages. but what a book! It very clearly goes through all the aspect of covert aggression, and how to deal with it. It is amazing how much simpler it is to deal with manipulation when you can instantly see what covert techniques are being used on you.

Most manipulations are so succesful purely because the victim isn't even aware of what is happening, he just feels that something isn't right but goes along with it anyway. The classic ones being the guilt trip and the pity trip - both are sure-fire indicators that you are being manipulated via your emotions. It also covers more obvious aspects of bullying behaviour and how to turn the situation around without being sucked into the dynamic.

A fantastic little book that can completely turn your life around. It is written in very clear language, very easy to understand and doesn't require you to have a degree in psychology to get the most out of it. I have to keep lending it out to my friends and family as it is so useful!
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45 of 47 people found the following review helpful By C. MacCallum on 4 Nov 2007
Format: Paperback
Pithy and often funny, I have recommended this book to every one I know and bought extra copies for my kids when they went out into the work world. George Simon takes the bluster and obfustication of overbearing/weasely bosses, nasty neighbors, obnoxious coworkers and annoying relatives and boils it down to show you the simple psychological strategies being used to impose on your patience, good will, or even wallet.

Once you understand the rules and especially the *mindset* of these people, you are in a position to defend yourself with a minimum of energy expended. No in-depth analysis here, just the basic tools for dealing with difficult people and coming out, not necessarily "on top", but with workable solutions that most times leave everyone satisfied. Wished I'd had this for dealing with the in-laws the first fifteen years. Highly Recommended.
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51 of 54 people found the following review helpful By Fresh start! on 16 Mar 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Having read dozens (probably hundreds) of 'How to' guides on life, love and work - THIS BOOK STANDS OUT. It is a particularly superb resource for those being bullied (by committee members, colleagues, boss, partner, whomever!)The author emphasises how to recognise your own unrealistic expectations, how you may unknowlingly become attractive to manipulators and how to handle the situation. I also recommend 'Take the bully by the horns' by Sam Horn.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Sunflower888 on 7 Feb 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a little book about 1cm thick. It's not the easiest style of writing to read, as lots of blocks of text. But once you get into it, and it's messages OMG it is REALLY REALLY HELPFUL. If you are in any doubt that you are dealing with manipulative people then I suggest you get this book, or even if you want to be able to spot them.

It's an excellent book, I felt I really understand and can spot these people now I have read the types of things and behaviours they can do. Buy it!
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Lady Lisa on 3 Jun 2008
Format: Paperback
This is a great, thought provoking, practical book. Can't recommend it highly enough as I have found it really useful.
People manipulate you because they want to, it is that simple.
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