I'm Perfect, You're Doomed I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing [Paperback]

The Jehovah's Witnesses are no ordinary Christian sect. They are a state within a state and their state is a model of totalitarianism. Although they depend on nation states for schools, medical services, roads and the rest, they have convinced themselves that they, and they alone, have been appointed by Jehovah God as his sole earthly representatives.

Members are obsessively reminded that the world beyond their meeting halls and literature is the province of Satan and will, any time now, be destroyed in a terrifying orgy of destruction. The only escape is to become a full member of the Jehovah's Witnesses and to devote all one's time, beyond that required to earn a living, in the service of Jehovah's organisation. This involves regular, carefully monitored and supervised door knocking. Every JW doorknocker mouths a script identical to that dictated by the New York bosses.

Bearing the above in mind, it is hardly surprising that this ghastly outfit leaves a trail of psychological wreckage in its wake. Escape is difficult; it requires a complete deprogramming session of a mind which has been, often for decades, under the absolute control of this detestable cult. Members are ordered to shun as 'apostates' all who choose to leave, even if they are close friends and family.

A huge number of apostates of this minority cult have published their impressions of the JW life. Most are suffused with anger at years wasted in the service of a lie. Kyria Abrahams is obviously angry, but she uses the weapon of comedy to denigrate this disgusting organisation. Dictators often relish anger; ridicule can infuriate the pompous and self righteous. Should any JW boss read this book, they would hopefully cringe inwardly at being portrayed as slaves to such absurdity as is their ever changing doctrine and collection of declared 'Truths'.

Kyria describes how she breaks the JW Christmas taboo by attending a fiend's party and reflects what a shame it is that Jehovah will kill all these nice people at the imminent Battle of Armageddon. She has the strength even to reflect on the comedy of a disastrous, quasi arranged, marriage to a believing JW 'brother'.

This book has already proved a popular read with ex JWs such as myself. Hopefully it will overcome the censorious attitudes of the JW establishment, who frown on all literature not written by their members. I would like to call this book a 'must read' for all those still trapped within JWdom, as well as those currently tempted to join by the cleverly programmed promises of Paradise.

With any luck it may be the catalyst for escape for several still suffering under the cruel constraints of this evil outfit.

I read Kyria's book 18 months after leaving the JW's after being brought up as one. Her story really spoke to me, not only was it hilariously funny it also so accurately encapsulated what being brought up a Jehovah's Witness is like. Sometimes it was painful to be reminded about certain things that I hadn't thought about in years, certain aspects of a JW childhood, but the way it is written never made me feel sad.

I would reccomend it to any recovering JW who wants a releif from all the serious, depressing, heavy going books you can get about the JW's, or anybody who wants an objective look at the JW's.

I've already passed it on to my Baptist freind at work who read it in one night and it's steadily making its way around the staff room!

I don't know a lot about Jehovahs Witnesses. I remember a couple of kids at school who stood out because they kept themselves to themselves, missed assembly, and didn't have to take boring RE lessons .

My sole interactions with the Jehovahs Witnesses since school have been with a very nice lady called Susan, who occasionally does the rounds of my estate preaching the word of god to anyone who happens to open the door . I'll occasionally have a little chat on the doorstep - not out of any interest in converting to the faith, but because I genuinely have an interest in peoples belief in religion, and what t is that convinces them there is something out there . I remember one conversation where she showed me a copy of the 'Watchtower' that made a few statements against the evils of smoking, drinking, and chewing betel nuts, where she laughingly confessed to not knowing what a Betel nut was - we ended up googling it together!

So, upon starting this book, my mind was a blank slate . Now, the blurb on the inside of the cover made it sound very interesting, informing us the the authors childhood was haunted by the knowledge that all her friends and neighbours were going to die in a fiery apocolypse, smurfs were evil, and that second hand objects were usually posessed by demons . It also said that at eighteen the author, Kyria, 'found herself married to a man she didn't love, with adultery her only way out'. Now, I love a good misery memoir about horrible forced marriages arranged by horribly cruel parents, and settled myself down for several chapters of outrage and shock.

Actually, this isn't a misery memoir in any fashion at all . It's really a story about a young girl growing up, learning to question the things around her, making up her own mind and growing into her own personality. Certainly, some of her childhood is decidedly odd in comparison to mine, but there is nothing at all abusive or cruel in this book at all.

Kyria grew up with two loving parents (well, they didn't love each other, but divorce within their faith wasn't an option) who raised her well. She went to school, had friends, and had hobbies . There were subtle differences, sure, such as not being alowed to attend birthday parties (Because Herod has John the Baptist beheaded whilst celebrating his birthday) , not being allowed out trick or treating, and not celebrating christmas, easter, or patriotic holidays such as independence day .

Her circle of friends was smaller than most too - Jehovahs Witnesses do not encourage association with 'worldly' influences or people of other religions, but Kyrias parents were happy for her to associate with a couple of approved friends outside the religion - at least until a ouija board was produced.

Kyrias account of her childhood is quite humorous - and she is able to laugh at herself as much as others, making herself out to be an aspiring poet, actor, and big screen movie star, with rather too much self belief. She recounts tales of batty old ladies in the congregation, including one who loved to munch bulbs of raw garlic and was always guaranteed personal space as a result.

One of the more amusing beliefs presented was that items picked up second hand could bring demons into your home . On one occasion Kyria is presented with a box of second hand costume jewellery by a friend . Immediately, odd occurences begin in the home - her parents argue more than normal, and the pipes make loud gurgling sounds at night. Kyria describes her parents falling to their knees, shouting Jehovahs name and denouncing the demons that apparently had entered the home through this possessed jewellery!

Far from being forced into marriage, Kyria married of her own free will - largely because she wanted to have sex - which turned out to be something of a disapppointment!

It is as Kyria gets older, and a little wiser, that she begins to really question her faith . Beginning with the question of why god would not forgive divorce when her forgives other greater crimes, such as murder . And when her mother is disfellowshipped (cast out of the religion) for divorcing her husband, her questioning only gets stronger . Can she really remain part of a religion that expects her to utterly blank her own mother in the street?

Ths is a fascinating book, and really taught me a fair bit about the religion that I didn't know . I particularly like this book as it wasn't written by someone who had a horrible experience within the religion, but by someone who took time to reason out whether they truly believed everything they had been taught, took time to have a few new experiences, and came to an informed decision at the end. As a result, the book is very balanced - I don't feel that at any point the author insults the Jehovahs Witnesses. Yes, she might have a little giggle at a few of the sillier beliefs, but for the most part, she just presents facts and leaves us to make our own minds up.

The best word I could use to sum up this book is 'objective'. Whilst there are reasons why Kyria would be quite justified in being angry at the religion, beneath the humour there is a sense of forgiveness and understanding.

I would recommend this book for anyone wanting to learn a little more about the Jehovahs Witness religion without listening to the obviously biased opinions of the nice old ladies that knock on doors .

4 stars .