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I Married You

I Married You [Kindle Edition]

Walter Trobisch
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: £6.41 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Product Description


Trobisch's classic book about relationships has been reprinted for
the 21st time.
-- Phil Creighton; Baptist Times; July 2004

Product Description

Set in a big city in Africa, covering only a few days of Walter and Ingrid’s life, the story develops in a surprising and suspenseful way. Through the struggles of the people they are trying to help, both find themselves facing unexpected challenges to their own marriage. Nothing in this book is fiction. All the stories have really happened. All of the conversations have really taken place. The people involved are still living today. The setting of these events is Africa, but the problems dealt with are relevant to all parts and to all cultures.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 300 KB
  • Print Length: 160 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Quiet Waters Publications (4 April 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #295,785 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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4.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Very good christian book for a married women and men or those who feel God's calling to marriage. The author is authentic in his writing and easy to read and to understand. I enjoyed this book very much and will read it again. It is enlightening in terms of certain views that we might hold about marriage and meeting people in our lifes.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars easy reading, lots of good stuff 20 Jan 2003
The book is filled with vieuws, fact and ideas to help you build a relatioship. On top of that it's easy to read and based on ancient biblical truths.
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5.0 out of 5 stars good read before you say i do 3 July 2013
By von
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
reasonably good condition as described. ordered this book before getting married. service was super quick and i would recommend this book.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Read this book 3 Dec 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
A great book about relationships. Even if you are single I recommend reading this book. It is really helpful in understanding relationships.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.9 out of 5 stars  23 reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An honest, insightful book about marriage. 7 Nov 2002
By Erik Olson - Published on
I had to read "I Married You" for a seminary Premarital/Marital counseling course, and I found it to be quite fascinating. I was particularly intrigued by the setting - an unnamed country in Africa. That set it apart from most marriage books right from the start, since along with the usual relational insights, "I Married You" acted as a window into another culture's relationships with God and each other. Of course there were differences, such as the intriguing way the African church service was conducted compared to a typical white American one. However, the universal relational issues Trobisch portrays really enabled me to identify with persons I am united with by faith, if not by race or culture.
Regardless of where in the world one calls "home", Trobisch makes a solid case for the sanctity and strength of marriage as an institution. The book's theme is based on the classic Biblical marriage passage Genesis 2:24, boiled down to "leave, cleave, and become one flesh." Leaving occurs when the man and woman enter into a legal relationship and create a family unit that is independent from their parents. Then, they cleave together as one in an exclusive relationship, and finally become one flesh in body, soul, and spirit, sharing everything. It is this foundation that forms marriage as God intended it. Trobisch goes on to Biblically debunk the idea that the marriage union is meant to subvert women and empower men to dominate them. He also shows how pitfalls like premarital sex can damage the marriage relationship before it even begins. Helpfully, he makes his points by using intuitively recognizable allegories and illustrations that, while very relevant to African culture, are easily understood by the average Westerner. For example, a marriage philosophy that denigrates women and children is referred to as the "garden" concept (very agricultural in nature), while the ideal union is symbolized by the image of a three-legged stool (a visual aid suggested to Trobisch by an elderly African woman in order to liven up his plainer "triangle" illustration). As for the day-to-day aspects of marriage, Trobisch suggests ways that a couple can discover more about themselves and their relationship. An example is the "quarrel" test, where the spouses honestly question whether or not they can really forgive each other and resolve conflict. Unstable marriage relationships are discussed as well, such as the "empty" marriage, characterized by lack of love and an increase in alienation.
The book's main strength lies with Trobisch's skill in identifying the above principles within the context of real-life relationships, including his own marriage. "I Married You" is not just another dry, sugarcoated "how-to" marriage manual. Instead, we can identify with everyone Trobisch encounters, from the somewhat immature single man in his 30s with an idealized portrait of a wife that no real woman could match, to Trobisch's own long-suffering wife Ingrid. Indeed, one of the most affecting parts of the book is seeing Trobisch absolutely blow it with her, right after multiple days of teaching and counseling others concerning the ideals listed above! It is this kind of transparent honesty that really set "I Married You" above other books in the genre. My only gripe would be the inadequate treatment Trobisch gives to the single life as a valid alternative to marriage. However, such a rabbit trail would have veered too far from the book's central theme, so he can be forgiven for that small transgression. Overall, I can enthusiastically recommend this book as required reading for anyone interested in this topic, particularly engaged couples.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I Married You 7 Nov 2000
By Amazon Customer - Published on
This book was recommended to me while I was engaged to my wife. It is an awsome book. Mr. Trobisch cast a very clear and poignant perspective to the relationship of marriage. A perspective only God could give. This book should be required reading for all high school and college students who have thoughts, questions, or ideas about marriage and also required for all of us who are now married. I plan on having this classic in my household for all of my children to read.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down! 28 Jun 2002
By "brianolutheran" - Published on
This is one of those books that I just couldn't put down. A friend told me about I MARRIED YOU, and her recommendation was right on target. This is a spell-binding tale of a pastor/teacher/counselor's brief trip to Africa and the couples he meets and works with. My wife is not a big reader, but I passed I MARRIED YOU on to her, which she also enjoyed.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars extremely helpful book 13 Sep 2008
By FruitFly - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I was given this book by a friend while having trouble with my husband. Neither of us has really had much of an example of a healthy marriage - we're sort of making it up as we go.

I expected this to be a surface-level "christian book," with little practical advice and a lot of good-sounding fluff. Not even close!

In this book, Walter Trobisch narrates the conversations he has and lectures/sermons he gives over the course of a week in Africa. The many different troubles couples experience in the book cover many of the possible problems seen in a typical marriage. The explanations he gives of how God designs marriage - what it means to leave, cleave and become one flesh - really make it clear what my role is as a spouse.

Until reading this book, I had no clear understanding of what it looks like to be a wife (or husband). What is my goal? What balance do we take in terms of being ourselves / being a couple? What do we do when it seems impossible? Why should I put in the effort to resolve conflict?

Now I know. I now feel confident that I am able to continually become a better wife for my husband, that when I have no strength I know what I want God to help me with, and that it is possible for a broken person like me to be a good wife for my lover.

Especially in a world where many marriages fail, where people give up too quickly, where we receive very little support from our families and friends, and where we have few examples of healthy marriage, this book is necessary.

A requirement for engaged couples everywhere. A necessary example for married couples everywhere. This book is so universal and honest, I cannot fault it in any way.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I Married You 27 July 2006
By Eliza B - Published on
The only book on marriage I have read that I thought worth keeping and periodically re-reading.

It is told as a (true) story of a marriage counseling couple helping people with marriage or marriage-like problems - a man looking for a woman to marry, an unmarried woman feeling trapped in a relationship, a pastor's wife feeling neglected because her husband puts church members' needs ahead of his family's needs.

This is the only book I have read about marriage that considers single people not merely as "not-yet-married" but as complete people in their own right. Singleness, then, is as wholesome a choice as marriage. Marriage, then, is the uniting of two already complete people, who together create something new - regardless of whether or not children result.

His explanation of how the Bible's statement that two people leave their parents, cleave to each other, and become one flesh is a picture of Jesus's relationship to each of us, is awesome, and goes way beyond anything I have heard preached elsewhere on marriage as an image of God.
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