How to Be a Villain
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Product Description
Product Description
Villains may not win, but they sure have more fun. Holed up in a creepy underground lairs, hatching master plans for world domination they have a ball. A delightfully evil gift, How to be a Villain is a step-by-step guide to joining the forces of darkness. Whether you are a Criminal Mastermind, Mad Scientist, or Corporate Bastard - or you just want to be, this handbook teaches how to perfect the evil laugh, find the correct henchman, and jumpstart your wicked career.
About the Author
Neil Zawacki is a California-based freelance writer who has long been interested in the plight of evil-doers. Generally considered to be one of the most villainous men of the twenty-first century, he enjoys theatre, literature, and world domination. This is his first book.
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First Sentence
Congratulations on your decision to join the forces of darkness... Evil can always use another talented agent to lend a hand in the name of mayhem. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
Congratulations on your decision to join the forces of darkness... Evil can always use another talented agent to lend a hand in the name of mayhem. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
First of all this is not a serious book. It is more like something from the "Worst Case Scenario" series. It's still great fun to read and very informative for a future supervillain. It includes everything from selecting your evil lair, how to do an evil laugh and when to use it, your evil henchmen guide and of course what to wear as a villain. The book also contains an "evil plan generator". With it you can make your own plan of how to spread evil. Just remember, this is all in fun.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
45 reviews
51 of 58 people found the following review helpful
Develop your inner darkness
11 Nov 2003
Format:Hardcover
Have you ever felt like society has given you a bum steer, bad rap, raw deal, and, in general, the short end of the stick? Do people not afford you the respect and adulation you so richly deserve? Well, what to do? Random acts of violence? Sure, that's fun for awhile, but it will probably end you up in the hoosegow with unfavorable new friends whose main pastime is putting the screwgee to the new meat. In 'How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!' Neil Zawacki, with suitable illustrations provided by James Dignan, presents a very thorough, informative, and witty guidebook to evil villainy and all its' facets.
Chapter one gets you started by detailing the concept of evil, spelling out the benefits, and provides a helpful evil quiz to help determine if this path is for you. Also included is a guide for choosing a suitable evil name, help in defining your motives, and even aid in choosing your own, distinct evil laugh. I prefer the wail of the banshee, but to each his/her own. Chapter two deals with methods of mayhem, focusing on careers in evil. Mad scientist? Despot Dictator? Televangelist? Supreme ruler of the planet? It's all here. Also included is assistance in determining goals and objectives for whatever path you choose. In chapter three, we learn about the forces of good, examining the 'good mentality', hero types and their weaknesses, as it's important to know your enemy. When Captain Goody Two Shoes comes knocking, you'll be prepared to handle this clown in style. The fourth chapter details the tools of the trade, with an in-depth look into evil lairs, a henchman guide (winged monkeys or evil ninjas? So many choices), evil hardware (doomsday devices, secret death rays, matter transmuters, orbit mind control lasers, it's all here), and even a handy guide for evil fund raising as this stuff can be fairly costly. And, of course, there are fashion tips for the appropriate evil look and helpful advice for an evil makeover.
You've got the motive, the look, knowledge of your enemy, a suitable lair, lackeys, tools of the trade, and a proper evil name, but just how do you go from disgruntled fry cook to Evil Supreme Dictator of the Earth? That's where the last chapter comes in, providing detailed instructions for developing an evil plan, even including a handy evil plan generator. So I say, for those of you pouring over old episodes of the 60's camp classic Batman, trying to cull secrets and tips, rejoice! Our time is nigh! Bwahahhahahahaha! (one suggestion from one who knows, when choosing evil lackeys to do you're bidding, avoid winged monkeys as they cool for awhile but so dang messy! And winged monkey feed sure ain't cheap.)
Cookieman108
Chapter one gets you started by detailing the concept of evil, spelling out the benefits, and provides a helpful evil quiz to help determine if this path is for you. Also included is a guide for choosing a suitable evil name, help in defining your motives, and even aid in choosing your own, distinct evil laugh. I prefer the wail of the banshee, but to each his/her own. Chapter two deals with methods of mayhem, focusing on careers in evil. Mad scientist? Despot Dictator? Televangelist? Supreme ruler of the planet? It's all here. Also included is assistance in determining goals and objectives for whatever path you choose. In chapter three, we learn about the forces of good, examining the 'good mentality', hero types and their weaknesses, as it's important to know your enemy. When Captain Goody Two Shoes comes knocking, you'll be prepared to handle this clown in style. The fourth chapter details the tools of the trade, with an in-depth look into evil lairs, a henchman guide (winged monkeys or evil ninjas? So many choices), evil hardware (doomsday devices, secret death rays, matter transmuters, orbit mind control lasers, it's all here), and even a handy guide for evil fund raising as this stuff can be fairly costly. And, of course, there are fashion tips for the appropriate evil look and helpful advice for an evil makeover.
You've got the motive, the look, knowledge of your enemy, a suitable lair, lackeys, tools of the trade, and a proper evil name, but just how do you go from disgruntled fry cook to Evil Supreme Dictator of the Earth? That's where the last chapter comes in, providing detailed instructions for developing an evil plan, even including a handy evil plan generator. So I say, for those of you pouring over old episodes of the 60's camp classic Batman, trying to cull secrets and tips, rejoice! Our time is nigh! Bwahahhahahahaha! (one suggestion from one who knows, when choosing evil lackeys to do you're bidding, avoid winged monkeys as they cool for awhile but so dang messy! And winged monkey feed sure ain't cheap.)
Cookieman108
20 of 21 people found the following review helpful
Now I Can Rule the Known World!
18 Sep 2003
Format:Hardcover
I saw this on a "Staff Picks" shelf at a local bookshop yesterday evening and, as I was going to meet some friends...er, lackey henchmen...for a drink I figured I'd buy it, since I was early and bookless. I probably should have stolen it, because that would be the evil thing to do, but I didn't want the hassle. Regardless of the method of acquiring it, I found this little book side-splittingly funny, as did my newly recruited minions. In a perfect send-up of the Dr. Evil/Mr. Blofeld style of villain, this book offers valuable advice on finding the perfect hideout, just the right wardrobe and developing a maniacal laugh that suits you (not to mention catchy slogans and jingles to keep your perfidiousness in the public consciousness). Also included are tips on putting together your master plan of evil, just in case you haven't really put a lot of thought yet into why and how you intend to either control or destroy the world. This little volume is a quick read, and a must for those contemplating global domination...
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
A Very Good Reference
14 Feb 2004
Format:Hardcover
Having just discussed taking over the world with my friend, we found this book. I laughed the moment I saw the cover illustration with the evil laugh bwah ha ha. The section on having a career as a movie horror villain was enough to buy the book for alone. It's a hilarious piece of writing with very great drawings and excellent use of fellow evil-doers' quotes. A book that quotes C. Montgomery Burns, Darth Vader, and Keyser Sose is a very good reference. Buy this book and have a good laugh. If you don't have the money to buy it, do as it says and start an "evil lemonade stand" to raise it so you can.
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