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How to Win Friends and Influence People Paperback – 6 Apr 2006


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Product details

  • Paperback: 292 pages
  • Publisher: Vermilion; New Ed edition (6 April 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0091906814
  • ISBN-13: 978-0091906818
  • Product Dimensions: 19.6 x 12.4 x 2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (491 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 466 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Amazon Review

This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasises fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offence or arousing resentment. For instance: "Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers" and "talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world and everyday folks. --Joan Price --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"it changed my life" (Warren Buffet)

"The most successful self-help book of all time... Carnegie has never seemed more relevant" (The Times)

"It's helped me immeasurably in life. I think everyone should read it" (Jenny Colgan, Independent on Sunday)

"a no-nonsense guide to being a better person...an easy-to-read, practical guide" (Spirit and Destiny)

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

130 of 133 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 31 Jan 2001
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Have you ever met someone that immediately made you feel at ease? Have you ever met someone who seems so pleasant and makes you genuinely feel good about yourself? Or someone that makes you feel inspired? Or someone who gives you confidence?
We probably all have at one time or another; and they've probably read this book! The easy-going, anecdotal style enables the reader to quickly understand the principles behind all all aspects of human interaction, and put into operation the principles in the book.
I used to be fairly confrontational and self-centred. If you stick to the principles in the book, you will notice that people become more co-operative, friendly, and you genuinely appreciate you more. And it's really easy to follow these simple rules because they make so much sense.
I didn't read the book to make friends (I've got loads already, honest!), but you do find people genuinely being more friendly towards you and listening to your point of view.
I think everyone should read this book. The title has become a bit of a catch phrase and a cliche, but it hasn't sold 16 million copies for nothing.
Buy it. Read it. And you'll probably end up recommending it to someone else.
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197 of 214 people found the following review helpful By Donald Mitchell HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on 13 May 2004
Format: Mass Market Paperback
In business, those who are the most "emotionally" intelligent always rise to the top. Why is that?
As a management consultant, I am always asking our clients and potential clients what their major issues are. It almost always boils down to persuading someone else to change. In many situations, the person describes the situation as getting worse rather than better.
As I ask more questions, I soon learn that the person I am talking to is totally thinking about the issue from her or his perspective, not the perspective of the person they want to influence. Carnegie describes a situation where he and his son couldn't get a calf into the barn. They pushed and pulled, and nothing worked. A maid came out, stuck her finger into the calf's mouth to simulate feeding and the calf followed her right into the barn.
As you can tell from that example, Carnegie is a student of the stimulus-response school of human behavior. The book is divided into four sections: Handling People; Getting People to Like You; Getting People to Agree with You; and Being a Leader. Each section is comprised of a few principles, which are each exemplified in a short chapter with a number of examples. Handling people has to do with avoiding the negative and unpleasant, appreciating the other person, and making the other person eager to accomplish some goal of their own.
Each section follows the same format. Basically, it's the same way that you train any living being. You provide positive feedback to the person which makes them feel better, the person responds positively to you making you feel better, you then help the other person to link what you want to share with them with something they want.
Many people will be offended by this idea.
Read more ›
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48 of 52 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 22 April 2003
Format: Paperback
This is a really good book which can be summed up by the phrase "see things from the other person's point of view". Clearly this is a good idea in terms of making friends and selling to people and although obvious, not something that we all do naturally. This book lays down some basic rules and enthuses you to follow them. It really does work. Where it falls down is that it fails to mention the other side of the coin - that other people also owe it to you for THEM to see things from your point of view. Friendships are not just based on a one-sided flow of good will and more seriously, some relationships (especially business ones) have a strong power-play factor which requires you to stand up for yourself. Blindly following the principles in this book can make some people appear sappy and far too eager to please. Maybe Dale thought that most of us are so egotistical that correction was required in one direction only. I've noticed that you can be as understanding and empathetic as you like and some people will just abuse it. So I'd heartily recommend this book but also recommend standing up for yourself and not putting being liked as the number one goal in all situations.
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206 of 226 people found the following review helpful By ARWoollock on 5 May 2006
Format: Paperback
For a number of years I passed on reading Carnegie's work. The primary reason being that having dealt with a few people who did things the 'Carnegie way' I felt very uncomfortable with the kind of people they had become. One could easily argue they would have been those kinds of people with or without a Carnegie course and a paperback, and that's a reasonably sustainable argument. The problem really is though, that this book was clearly written by an American for an American audience (in 1936!); I know that is not the sales line but it is the truth. Henceforth, when the 'techniques' are applied to just about every culture outside of the United States then they have all the uncomfortableness of a brash woman wearing too much make-up, they ring too false and look too ridiculous. Maybe my comments will be seem by some as 'European elitism', but it's not that at all, it's simply a point of appropriation. A good number of what Carnegie talks about would simply laughed off in Europe as utterly banal and superficially repulsive - even if it were said or done with all sincerity. In my experience the over-use of names, the false enquiring of one's health, the formulaic compassion, the absurdity of remembering that your prospect ate chicken for dinner when you last met; and doesn't even remember that himself etc. is just too feigned and fictitious as to become repulsive. Likewise the whole notion that you can ask someone to do something if you simply spin them round, or that you should never berate people is poor psychology indeed. I agree that ONLY beration is unproductive but to motivate and challenge people of substance you need to raise the bar and use BOTH the twin tools of carrot AND the stick.Read more ›
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