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How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk [Paperback]

Adele Faber , Elaine Mazlish
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (235 customer reviews)
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Book Description

1 Jan 2013
The number one practical guide to making your family life less stressful and more rewarding.
In this international bestseller, experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish provide effective step by step techniques to help you improve and enrich your relationships with your children.

Learn how to:
Break a pattern of arguments
Cope with negative feelings
Engage your child's cooperation
Set clear limits and maintain goodwill
Express your emotions without being hurtful
Resolve conflicts peacefully

Frequently Bought Together

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk + Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (How to Help Your Child) + Playful Parenting
Price For All Three: £26.57

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Product details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Piccadilly Press; Third edition (1 Jan 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1848123094
  • ISBN-13: 978-1848123090
  • Product Dimensions: 19.6 x 12.8 x 2.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (235 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 419 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Authors

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Product Description


Mumsnet Best Awards 2011 - Best parenting book
'An excellent book for reassessing the way you talk to your children and, as one said, "putting it into practice isn't as hard as I imagined and the children respond so, so well".' --Mumsnet, January 2011

'The ultimate sensible parenting guide.' --Prima Baby

'The most useful book I read when my children were young.' --Lesley Garner, The Telegraph

'A down to earth guide to shaping the parent-child relationship and resolving family conflicts.' --The Guardian

'The ultimate sensible parenting guide.' --Prima Baby

'The most useful book i read when my children were young.' --Lesley Garner, The Telgraph
'A down to earth guide to shaping the parent-child relationship and resolving family conflicts.' --The Guardian

About the Author

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have received international acclaim from parents and professional educators. They both live on Long Island in the USA.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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First Sentence
I was a wonderful parent before I had children. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
294 of 297 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars True to it's Title 6 Jan 2002
By Derrick
I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. There is much good advice on how to recognize and change ineffective paterns of responding to your child. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book strictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read, I've heard nothing but positive feedback from other parents who have read this book.
I would also highly recommend the books "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey and "Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsibe Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries" by Robert J MacKenzie.
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394 of 409 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy it! 19 May 2003
I am writing because the last review posted here was written August 2002 and I didn't want people browsing to get the impression that the book was no longer relevant or something. So you are in no doubt: you deal with children? you are losing your sanity? this book needs to be in YOUR home.
The central message is simple: respect children's feelings and they will respect yours. As you are looking for a parenting book, you probably think 'I DO respect their feelings, but the little brat still drives me crazy...' but actually this book shows that most of us continuously disrespect our children, and actually encourage them to behave the way they do. Free yourself from tyranny! Buy this book! Understand it, laugh with it, talk about it, try out the exercises.
A previous reviewer has criticised this book for not being easy-to-reference in a hurry. In the authors' defence: the book does encourage parents to make notes along the way and copy out the main points to remember for easy reference. Although you may think that takes time (of which you probably have little) it is actually a more effective way of learning, and let's face it, when you are in the midst of a parenting crisis, do you really want to turn around and start flicking through a book? If the message of the book really makes sense to you, then you'll be able to come up with a solution on the spur of the moment. This book encourages parents to be resourceful, self-sufficient, flexible and responsive to the immediate situation.

Indeed, I am so impressed with this book and the changes it has made in my relationship with my children that I have written this review. Now that's saying something!
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298 of 310 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my life literally overnight 24 April 2007
A friend mentioned this book years before I had children of my own. When our first son was born my husband bought it, and then we forgot about it for a few years. Now my sons are 2 3/4 and 1 1/2, and I was having a really hard time.. the usual tantrums, food issues, fighting between the two... my older one was being sent to the naughty corner several times a day sometimes, I was shouting all day, and I felt absolutely miserable. Thought I was the worst mother in the world. Then I remembered the book, and aaaaah... never thought it possible that one book could hold "the truth". And it's such simple things you need to change, it's amazing. My son hasn't been to the naughty corner since I started reading the first chapter, we are a very happy, relaxed and calm family now, and my husband is still completely amazed that every evening I tell him "We had a good day" rather than finding me in tears. If you ever felt overwhelmed and powerless as a parent, and if you ever thought you were doing everything wrong ... READ THIS BOOK.
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358 of 373 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars changed parent 2 Sep 2006
As an impatient mother of a challenging three year old I'd given up on books (and there were lots of them) and advice (and there was lots of it). A good friend of mine slipped me this book and I gave it a passing glance. I tried the first technique out with not much hope, and was immediately rewarded with a co-operation That was a week ago. I have since read it from cover to cover, given it back to my friend with a massive thank you, bought it myself and intend to read it again. It has made an immediate improvement to my relationship not only with my son but with my partner, my parents, my siblings and people in general. I've gone from frustrated, irritated, tired orgress to confident, loving mother. I actually enjoying talking to my son and he enjoys talking to me. I'd recommend this book to anyone who deals with children.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
I bought this book about three months ago after a particularly bad week with my boys (aged 2 and 4). A lot of tantrums, whining, shouting, crying (on all parts) plus the anxiety of starting school made me feel I really needed to change something. I had read an earlier book by the same author (Siblings without Rivalry) and liked the style so gave it a go.

The first few weeks were a difficult transition. Trying the new methods, yet in the back of mind doubting them, I kept reverting back to the usual methods (after all naughty steps and reward charts seem so popular these days). Again - a difficult week and I gave it another go.

After four weeks of effort on my part we finally started getting somewhere and slowly but surely their suggested behaviour and responses became more natural.Three months on, I can honestly say we all have a much better relationship. I still shout (which thankfully is `allowed' in this book) - but situations don't spiral out of control... I am angry about a situation, I suggest better options and we all carry on. I don't bombard my son with questions about school - `who did you play with', `did you eat lunch' and yet he chats much more readily. My two year old still has tantrums and a very determined personality; but even he has softened and seems to respond much better.

Fingers crossed it isn't coincidence or a phase and I have really have made things better!
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