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‘Does what is says on the tin, with heaps of helpful tips for developing ease in social situations.’ Time Out
Product Description
A fun, witty and informative guide containing 92 little tricks for big success in personal relationships and business.
There are two kinds of people in life. Those who walk into a room and say: ‘Well, here I am!’. And those who walk in and say: ‘Ahhh, there you are’.
In this book, Leil Lowndes writes with wit, irreverence about relationships, body language and how we relate to each other. It contains extremely usable and intelligent strategies for love and business which include:
Charming body language and gestures – the exclusive smile, eyes glued to the other person, ‘come hither’ hands with palms open etc.
Never leave home without the latest news
How to give the killer compliment – not too general and not too frequently given
The premature ‘we’ – effective empathising
how to work the party – including making an entrance, be the chooser not the choosee, and mingling not munching (for all those who head straight for the food table!).
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Customer Reviews
However, I very nearly didn't make it to part 2, because part 1 was frankly sickening. For example, Technique 1: The Flooding Smile - "look at the other person's face. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes." This strikes me as plain sham. Then we have Sticky Eyes, Epoxy Eyes, and some strange muscle exercise that involves imagining you are hanging by the teeth from a door as you go under it (it's supposed to make you smile more widely). I tried it and scared my son's girlfriend who started calling me Dracula behind my back!
I admit I didn't get to the end of the book. There are 92 tips in it, but I gave up at no. 59, which she calls The Tombstone Game: "Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone. Then later, when the moment is right to say "I love you" fill the blanks with the very words they gave you earlier."
The words insincere, counterfeit, bogus, fake and sham spring to mind.
I found this book interesting; I've tried many of the techniques and found that they work very well.
Unfortunately, the author has little genuine warmth, empathy or interest in other people.
One example (not untypical). The authors 'good friend' had started a business and Leil (the author) introduced her to an important - powerful - contact. The author's friend 'messed up' when she contacted the 'important person' - she didn't have a pen and asked him to wait a few minutes whilst she got one. The author's reaction 'that's the last time I'll introduce her to anyone'. Jeez - I'm glad she's not my 'good friend'.
I thoroughly recommend it to anybody who wants to communicate more effectively i.e. get what they want out of other people - respect, friendship, business, a job, etc.
However don't let it turn you into a self-centered, manipulative, jerk.
Remember that communications techniques can help in one off relationships (e.g. a job interview, sales call), can help lubricate new relationships (a first date), and increase your social standing (working a party, or social engagement).
They can't help in long-term relationships (when a date becomes your girl/guy, on the job, parenting, etc.) For that you need to invest in your character.
Happy reading
Afam Edozie
A lot of the stuff is common sense, but it is useful to have it confirmed so that the ideas are in the forefront of your mind when you are next socially climbing. (If thats what you want to do!!). However this is really a book for those that already have quite competent social skills and are socially confident. It is also rather aimed at the American personality.
It is easy and enjoyable to read and reeks of optimism.
But it is not a lesson in the basic skills for those that are shy to talk to others, it is more about the fine-tuning of existing communication skills.
We sometimes forget to make the other person special, sometimes we... Read more
In fact it's so vacuous you'll probably feel you're being insulted. Read more
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