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How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved: Describes 8 Types of Dangerous Men, Gives Defense Strategies and a Red Alert Checklist for Each, Paperback – 30 Apr 2005


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Product details

  • Paperback: 262 pages
  • Publisher: Hunter House Publishers (30 April 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0897934474
  • ISBN-13: 978-0897934473
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 14.6 x 22.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 98,678 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Dangerous men exist in all of our lives. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Sarah Rehmatullah TOP 500 REVIEWER on 3 Aug. 2012
Format: Paperback
I feel this is such an important topic that often is avoided through rationalization of various behaviours. Sandra shares so clearly of the different types of dangerous men, how they attract us and vice versa, she lists precisely what to look out for to avoid such abuse. Abuse can occur physically, mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually. There is so much out in the world to assist those who suffer physical abuse, but so many women suffer mentally - through the various mind games and manipulation of dangerous men, and/or emotionally though feeling they are wrong, or they just need to find out how to make the man love them more, and to fix the relationship so it is perfect. Sandra has left no stone unturned within this wonderful book that will finally wake up the person who may have, for a long time, stuck their head in the hand and pretended everything is alright. The good news is, that in this day and age, you don't have to! Waking up may be painful momentarily, but not as painful as continuing to live in an abusive relationship where you are not truly loved at all, otherwise there would be no abuse. Truly I believe we do intuit that the person is not for our highest good, and then suppress that gut feeling so that we can "continue to receive the love". One can become hooked on that which is not love at all, but abuse, fooling ourselves otherwise, that it will get better in time. The deep revelations that are shared from other women through Sandra, allow you to truly believe in the insights shared.

The patterns within you that send out signals to a man that you are easy prey can be broken with help. It takes humility to admit that you may have attracted an abusive relationship, and a willingness to surrender the entire dynamics that continue the attraction that send out the wrong vibes.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Susan W on 27 Nov. 2007
Format: Paperback
This book spells it out in plain language - just how to see the behavioral cues that indicate trouble! Really this book is applicable not just in spotting dangerous men, but dangerous people in general. The strategies given are very helpful and clearly show how to avoid falling into the traps set by predators. Case studies are also useful in showing how these strategies work in real life. Well written, this book provides people with the tools they need to protect themselves. Highly recommended for just about anybody, but in particular young women will benefit from reading this.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By D. J. Wilden on 5 Feb. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have married twice and both times I picked men of a similar personality. I found both of them in this book and now hope with reading the book over and over, to avoid the pitfalls which obviously have steered me towards these men. Now with the dark glasses off I can actually SEE what kind of man I am still married to but am in the process of divorcing, and the one I was married to years ago. I really can't rate this book highly enough. I didn't realise I was in an abusive relationship till about 2009, if you have any doubts, niggles, something isn't right but you can't put your finger on it, read as much as you can about abusive relationships, definitely read this book, you will have the veil removed from your eyes and realise YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, its him and his "games" who is messing with your head.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By E. Orr on 15 Dec. 2012
Format: Paperback
A great book. Really helped me through a difficult time in my life. If this book is read in conjunction with Morton Bain's Psychopath!, a degree of perspective and understanding is achieved that can really help deal with these very difficult people. I would recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone who has had this misfortune of dealing with psychopaths.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By M. Longaz on 3 Nov. 2007
Format: Paperback
This book should be required reading for understanding how psychological deviants and individuals who are broken and injured by a society that is at many times completely insensitive to human development and care can have a completely negative affect on an individual in a relationships.

Although it is written for women to spot dangerous men, a man can find information that is invaluable toward understanding the world and the individuals that are in it. Also, the book can give you a reflection of what traits you may have picked up and don't realize can be negatively affecting a relationship you are in. With this in mind, I think a person that is honestly working on forming a caring relationship has a lot to learn from the character traits explained in the book.

Thank you Sandra Brown!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By C. MacCallum on 18 Nov. 2007
Format: Paperback
Every responsible parent should be providing this book to their child, whether male or female. This is the street smarts they should have that society so carefully educates out of them. Discuss it with them. Provide your own experiences. It may be the best gift you ever give them. I would also recommend reading Barbara Hort's Unholy Hungers: Encountering the Psychic Vampire in Ourselves & Others along with it. It gives a more complete psychological picture of a "dangerous person" and what drives them.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By MonkeyReviewer on 4 Mar. 2012
Format: Paperback
I would recommend this book for anyone who has a history of difficult relationships. I think it succeeds in making you examine your past patterns in choosing dangerous men, which might have arisen from societal attitudes, parental attitudes, or experiences in past relationships. It puts appropriate emphasis on the role of a woman's choice in accepting an unsatisfactory relationship, and helps you to understand that you can make a different choice next time. In this way, women are not seen as the passive 'victims' of male behaviour.

However, this book is a long way from perfect and not everything Sandra Brown says should be accepted without reservation. Her tone can be very preachy at times, and she is convinced that men who are currently displaying bad behaviours can't change in the future. I have a more optimistic view that people can change and improve. However, I would accept that only the 'dangerous' man himself can make the decision to change, and he can't be changed by the efforts of the women who enter relationships with him.

I also disliked the equation of 'mentally ill' with 'dangerous'. This is only going to add to the stigma experienced by mentally ill people. One in four people suffer from mental illness at some time in their lives, and most of them are far from dangerous (research suggests they are much more likely to be victims of attack than attackers).
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