Candid, caustic and surprisingly moving, Stephanie Calman is back: read her and know that you are not alone
How Not to Murder Your Husband
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Book Description
The idea for this book came when Stephanie began making a list of things that annoy her about her husband, and found how hard it was, once she had started, to stop. Here are the first Ten Things, just to give you an idea. He: (1) Leaves the bread unwrapped after making toast so it goes stale. (2) Writes illegible names and addresses on things like Christmas cards then tells her off when she try to amend them. (3) Breathes really loudly when he's asleep - 'I wasn't SNORING' - so that it's like being woken every night at 2am by Darth Vader. And not in a sexy, black cloak, galaxy ruling sort of way. (4) Says, 'I'm putting you in charge of that' as if he's doing her a favour when he wants to get out of doing something. (5) Says, 'Well, let's not make a problem out of it, shall we?' before ignoring the thing she's just told him about that's really bugging her and that she wants him to fix. (6) Doesn't fix things the minute she asks him to. (7) Manages to get the children to bed with far less yelling than she does. (8) Always sees the other side in an argument, i.e., the side that isn't hers. (10) Adores her mother. Viciously funny, touchingly honest and only too true, this is Stephanie Calman at her brilliant best.
About the Author
Stephanie Calman is a writer and broadcaster whose ‘Happy Families’ column appears regularly in the Daily Telegraph. She is also the creator of the hugely popular website www.badmothersclub.com and she appears regularly on tv and radio. She is still married to author Peter Grimsdale, with whom she has two children.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By T. Howard
Format:Paperback
How Not to Murder Your Husband, is definitely Stephanie Calman's funniest and most brilliant book and an absolute must. My children thought I had gone slightly mad, hearing the explosive laughter coming from my room at night, as I voraciously turned the pages. But this isn't only a satirical "how not to" book, it is also a carefully researched, poignantly executed, analysis of marriage, in the raw. Calman turns her lovingly caustic gaze on everything: sex, arguing, foreplay, childrearing, kitchen habits, garden sheds, therapy, nagging, shopping, bendy time syndrome and of course map reading - most things we deal with very well on our own, but when we share them with a husband they become impossibly difficult.
The book takes you on her journey to try and understand why marriage is so difficult and how, against all odds, some couples stay together. In the end we all know what it is she's saying - being able to laugh about it all, is the only way. One of my favourite chapters in the book is when she is asking her eleven year old son what he thinks about marriage. His thoughtful blunt answers are hysterically funny. When she asks him whether he thinks marriage is easy he replies:
`No. Never easy. Ever.'
This is a little too emphatic. I feel a sting of guilt.
`Why? Is it because we argue so much?'
`Partly.'
Stephanie is horrified by this and tries another approach:
`Do your friends' parents have better marriages?"
`No.'
That's a relief.
And that's it - by opening the door and allowing us in to see the scenes from her marriage and others we fall about laughing cathartically. Her utter honesty helps us to feel that relief as well.
If this book really is written to show how her husband is not as "perfect" as everyone keeps telling her he is, I closed the book at the end and still thought he probably was. In the words of her sister "Staple him to the bed. He is definitely The One." A brilliant book!!!
The book takes you on her journey to try and understand why marriage is so difficult and how, against all odds, some couples stay together. In the end we all know what it is she's saying - being able to laugh about it all, is the only way. One of my favourite chapters in the book is when she is asking her eleven year old son what he thinks about marriage. His thoughtful blunt answers are hysterically funny. When she asks him whether he thinks marriage is easy he replies:
`No. Never easy. Ever.'
This is a little too emphatic. I feel a sting of guilt.
`Why? Is it because we argue so much?'
`Partly.'
Stephanie is horrified by this and tries another approach:
`Do your friends' parents have better marriages?"
`No.'
That's a relief.
And that's it - by opening the door and allowing us in to see the scenes from her marriage and others we fall about laughing cathartically. Her utter honesty helps us to feel that relief as well.
If this book really is written to show how her husband is not as "perfect" as everyone keeps telling her he is, I closed the book at the end and still thought he probably was. In the words of her sister "Staple him to the bed. He is definitely The One." A brilliant book!!!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By JAC
Format:Paperback
Huge congrats to Ms Calman for once again getting it just right! It's so reassuring to realise that you are not alone in discovering the minor irritants you intially found endearing become grounds for digging up your patio!
Witty and insightful as always. What a pleasure to read.
Witty and insightful as always. What a pleasure to read.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Finn
Format:Paperback
As usual with Stephanie Calman, parts of this book made me laugh out loud. We can all relate to the fact that it's the tiny irritations that test a marriage - (yes, we have separate tubes of toothpaste, much easier). And I can relate to having a husband who compulsively tidies everything away - but I wish mine could do DIY. Stephanie Calman says many things we all think but don't dare say out loud (and writes them better too). Anyone being driven mad by their partner should have a read - and a laugh.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Funny 'cause it's true
I enjoyed it. I could relate and I laughed out loud a few times. Worth a read to pass the time. It also actually helped me to see that my husband is alright really x
Published 4 months ago by lisa29
4.0 out of 5 stars
Married life like it is?
Witty, observent and true to life. The author invites us into her marriage and I can only appreciate her honesty and the efforts her and her other half make. Read more
Published 4 months ago by KAW
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very funny and very real!
I have just read this book and I thought it was very funny. I could relate to so much in the book and it gave me comfort to realise that I am not the only woman who doesn't always... Read more
Published 14 months ago by loopylou
5.0 out of 5 stars
Totally brilliant!!!!!!!!
Absolutely ADORED this book!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much of it strikes far too near to home!!!!!! It's very rare for me to laugh aloud at a book, whilst in public, but I'm sure the people on... Read more
Published on 16 Jun 2010 by Mre F. Gerrish
1.0 out of 5 stars
Untalented
Another very badly written book by the self-styled "talented" Ms Calman. I think she's well past her sell-by date. Was she ever there in the first place? Read more
Published on 12 May 2010 by mykonos
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