How Not to Grow Up: A Coming of Age Memoir. Sort of.
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""A thoroughly entertaining confessional . . . self-deprecating and very human." --"Metro
Book Description
The misadventures of an immature man in an adult world
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34 of 36 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Richard Herring has co written some of the best comedy of the last 20 years but somehow misses completely with this book. I was left feeling a bit sad after reading it, i felt that this man was a bit of a git. Never ever meet your heros or in this case read about them. Most of the book is filled up with references to his sexual conquests all of which seem to make him whine a lot. To conceal the fact he is a fanny rat he sprinkles a bit of self loathing over each ancedote but still gives you the impression hes a ladies man on the sly. If fans are mentioned in the book then they are only done so based on how attractive they are to him. Most males in the book are seen as annoying competition and just in the way of any potential shag. I felt most sad when he was refering to fans who try and chat with him about his work, he seems to hold them with contempt unless of course they are pretty girls who are willing to nosh him off. The most annoying thing about this book is i still like his work he is a genuinely funny person though in real life is probably an arsehole. I suppose after 20 years in show biz you get a bit up yourself i just feel that its a shame he had to tell us about it.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
First, the disclaimer. I knew Richard Herring quite well once. We were in the Oxford Revue Workshop together, where his comedy career began and mine more or less ended. Being surrounded by obvious incipient comedy genius in the form of him, Stewart Lee, Armando Iannucci, Al Murray et al. was enough to convince me to stick to the day job. We weren't close friends or anything but he was a nice enough bloke who I would happily heckle in a pleasant sort of way if I saw him on stage again.
This book is a curious read. Whilst very funny in places, it is not the usual jog-trot through growing up in the '70s and '80s. Much of it is quite dark, in as much as when he stops doing knob gags for long enough, Herring is clearly going through a bit of a tunnel as he contemplates reaching the age of 40 with little financial security and a comedy career that has probably peaked, if not stalled. Much of this is palpably contrived for the purposes of creating his next Edinburgh show, but it is genuine enough.
Some of the negatives from previous reviews are fair. It is definitely far too long - half a chapter on a meeting with the bank manager, FFS! - and it is not always easy to feel sorry for someone living the life many men would dream of: getting up whenever you like, no commitments, easy access to attractive women half your age ('Comedy groupies' was a bit of an oxymoron in Oxford in the late 1980s. In fact the total impossiblity of there being such a thing was a running gag at the Workshop. Funny how things turn out). Herring is intelligent and self-aware enough to know this and to know that he is coming over as a bit of a berk at times, so I assume he left this in on purpose.
However, I still enjoyed the book for many reasons, not least the most eloquent defence of immaturity that I have ever read. When we 'mature', when we lose the ability to laugh at farts - or worse still, stop ourselves from doing so - we are really losing something. And you don't have to be a 39-year-old with no serious worries and no worse hang-ups than never having had a threesome to know that. Though it probably helps to be a younger child...
Finally, if you don't want to know the result, look away now: by the end, he has got over the milestone without anything very much happening, he's had his threesome (with two attractive women) and even may have found a genuine soulmate. Isn't there some kind of a law against being this jammy? Cheers, Rich.
This book is a curious read. Whilst very funny in places, it is not the usual jog-trot through growing up in the '70s and '80s. Much of it is quite dark, in as much as when he stops doing knob gags for long enough, Herring is clearly going through a bit of a tunnel as he contemplates reaching the age of 40 with little financial security and a comedy career that has probably peaked, if not stalled. Much of this is palpably contrived for the purposes of creating his next Edinburgh show, but it is genuine enough.
Some of the negatives from previous reviews are fair. It is definitely far too long - half a chapter on a meeting with the bank manager, FFS! - and it is not always easy to feel sorry for someone living the life many men would dream of: getting up whenever you like, no commitments, easy access to attractive women half your age ('Comedy groupies' was a bit of an oxymoron in Oxford in the late 1980s. In fact the total impossiblity of there being such a thing was a running gag at the Workshop. Funny how things turn out). Herring is intelligent and self-aware enough to know this and to know that he is coming over as a bit of a berk at times, so I assume he left this in on purpose.
However, I still enjoyed the book for many reasons, not least the most eloquent defence of immaturity that I have ever read. When we 'mature', when we lose the ability to laugh at farts - or worse still, stop ourselves from doing so - we are really losing something. And you don't have to be a 39-year-old with no serious worries and no worse hang-ups than never having had a threesome to know that. Though it probably helps to be a younger child...
Finally, if you don't want to know the result, look away now: by the end, he has got over the milestone without anything very much happening, he's had his threesome (with two attractive women) and even may have found a genuine soulmate. Isn't there some kind of a law against being this jammy? Cheers, Rich.
19 of 23 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review
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Being a male of a 'certain age', that is, quite near the Dreaded 40 which Herring is so obviously fearing, "How Not To Grow Up" feels both like a very bad - and very good - situation comedy about middle age, and one of the greatest stand up sets of all time laid to print. The tales within are those of a minor mid-life cris, one that is instantly recognisable in the day and age where life doesn't get much better than it did when you were 20, when you still stuff your face with the crack cocaine of fried chicken with the man behind the counter who you see more often than your friends, and wonder where life went and what it is meant to be.
By the time you get to 40, you're meant to have it all worked out - where your life is going, what the purpose of it is, and probably settled down, married up, and bred - but life just doesn't always work out like that. (There is a plus side, Herring hasn't had a relationship longer than 2 years and that means he's never been divorced and never had to pay obscene amounts of money to an ex-wife, but that is hardly compensated by a life where your best friend is your DVD collection.. or is it?). Where this book differs from yoru standard run-of-the-mill Middle-Aged-Lad-Dad-Dick-Lit is that Herring has a moral compass, a context in which his mistakes are analysed and understood.
As most people never quite managed to live the life he has, and ended up accidentally a grown up with kids and a job, in one respect the self-imposed exile of indulgence sounds like a paradise when I, for example, have to battle a five year not to watch "Ben Ten And The Amazing Monsters" for the 3,742nd time in a day, there is also somewhat of a void, a lack of a narrative that provides a direction for the journey. : it seems impossible to have a life of indulgence without a lack of necessary direction. Still, when you are playing with 20p plastic spiders hiding in your navel, life can seem as an immense adventure.
Aside from this, which I connect with in a way that perhaps I have no other book in recent years - Herring has a deft turn of phrase, a brilliant way of telling a story that seems simply natural and belies years of experience, including a fabulously sly deconstruction of a meeting with a bank manager. In many ways, it feels to me as if this is an alternative biography, the kind of world which is both tantalisingly in reach and terrifying close. The process of 'kidulthood', that is, being an adult with a kid's soul, is realised fully in this book, and made clear that it is a double edged sword. Overall, I couldn't help but like the narrator, and his journey of self-discovery, self-delusion, and self-drunkeness shows a man looking for something more than life and something different, and doing so in a way that is both incisive and constantly entertaining : it's the longest, most compellingly confessional, and human tale of a mid life crisis I have written that thankfully eschews the self-pity and goes straight for the self-enlightened, cheerfully bewildered view of the lives that we often live without ever planning it to turn out quite that way. Recommended.
By the time you get to 40, you're meant to have it all worked out - where your life is going, what the purpose of it is, and probably settled down, married up, and bred - but life just doesn't always work out like that. (There is a plus side, Herring hasn't had a relationship longer than 2 years and that means he's never been divorced and never had to pay obscene amounts of money to an ex-wife, but that is hardly compensated by a life where your best friend is your DVD collection.. or is it?). Where this book differs from yoru standard run-of-the-mill Middle-Aged-Lad-Dad-Dick-Lit is that Herring has a moral compass, a context in which his mistakes are analysed and understood.
As most people never quite managed to live the life he has, and ended up accidentally a grown up with kids and a job, in one respect the self-imposed exile of indulgence sounds like a paradise when I, for example, have to battle a five year not to watch "Ben Ten And The Amazing Monsters" for the 3,742nd time in a day, there is also somewhat of a void, a lack of a narrative that provides a direction for the journey. : it seems impossible to have a life of indulgence without a lack of necessary direction. Still, when you are playing with 20p plastic spiders hiding in your navel, life can seem as an immense adventure.
Aside from this, which I connect with in a way that perhaps I have no other book in recent years - Herring has a deft turn of phrase, a brilliant way of telling a story that seems simply natural and belies years of experience, including a fabulously sly deconstruction of a meeting with a bank manager. In many ways, it feels to me as if this is an alternative biography, the kind of world which is both tantalisingly in reach and terrifying close. The process of 'kidulthood', that is, being an adult with a kid's soul, is realised fully in this book, and made clear that it is a double edged sword. Overall, I couldn't help but like the narrator, and his journey of self-discovery, self-delusion, and self-drunkeness shows a man looking for something more than life and something different, and doing so in a way that is both incisive and constantly entertaining : it's the longest, most compellingly confessional, and human tale of a mid life crisis I have written that thankfully eschews the self-pity and goes straight for the self-enlightened, cheerfully bewildered view of the lives that we often live without ever planning it to turn out quite that way. Recommended.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great, but it peters out...
How Not to Grow Up is a very enjoyable book - for the first two thirds anyway - but the final few chapters are much less compelling; once Herring actually does start to 'grow up'... Read more
Published 10 months ago by houndtang
A disappointment
This was trying to tap into The Yes Man territory but despite the odd funny moment, it just didn't work and sometimes left a bad taste in the mouth. Disappointing.
Published 10 months ago by Page turner
unexpected
I do like some of Richard Herrings comedy and quite liked him on various panel shows, so was curious how this book might be. It was ok but not really what I expected. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Nicole Watson
A Funny, Moving and Honest Memoir from a Top Comedian
As with many of the reviewers here, I too was approaching the same age that Herring describes with dread and anticipation. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Friedland
revealing..
I really enjoy listening to Richard Herring's podcasts and bought this as something to read when not listening to him! Read more
Published 16 months ago by Simon King
Mr Herring's mid life crisis
I'm exactly the same age as Mr Herring (give or take a couple of months) although I'm not as funny.
Both myself and Richard have seen the same changing face of comedy,... Read more
Both myself and Richard have seen the same changing face of comedy,... Read more
Published 19 months ago by M. Bhangal
Buy it!
I couldn't recommend it any higher - the perfect read - You'll laugh out loud frequently - comedy genius.
Published 19 months ago by KR
Thoroughly enjoyable read
I loved reading this book - probably because I related to it a great deal, which might be worrying!
It's funny and makes you think. Read more
It's funny and makes you think. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Kate H
I've been forty for several years...
Clearly there is no need to carry on counting past 40.
Unfortunately I passed that point at a similar time to Richard. Read more
Unfortunately I passed that point at a similar time to Richard. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Voddieland
How Not to Review a Book
This is actually one of the best autobiographies that I've read (and for some reason, I read a lot). Read more
Published 20 months ago by Mr. Antonio Cavaldoro
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