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How NOT to Write a Novel: 200 Mistakes to Avoid at All Costs If You Ever Want to Get Published (Paperback)

by Howard Mittelmark (Author), Sandra Newman (Author)
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
RRP: £9.99
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Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin (29 Jan 2009)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 0141038543
  • ISBN-13: 978-0141038544
  • Product Dimensions: 19.6 x 12 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 4,334 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

Review

A great resource and a fun read with a lot of solid advice for would-be novelists. (Publishers Weekly )

This writing how-to should carry a warning: it's the kind of book one reads at the expense of all other responsibilities. (Library Journal )


Review

'[a] hilarious, wickedly observed and deeply useful guide'
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Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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How NOT to Write a Novel: 200 Mistakes to Avoid at All Costs If You Ever Want to Get Published
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Customer Reviews

33 Reviews
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 (11)
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 (10)
3 star:
 (3)
2 star:
 (3)
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 (6)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.5 out of 5 stars (33 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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30 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and helpful, 5 Mar 2009
By C. Quinn "totality denier" (County Louth, Eire) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   
This isn't a writing course -- it won't help you generate characters, overcome writer's block or find the inspiration to unleash the artist within. But it does contain some very good pointers towards the kinds of fault that will send your manuscript into the waste basket, and it's written by people who know.

I found it intermittently very funny, and usually helpful; some of the recommendations will be familiar to anyone who's read anything similar before, but it's mostly fresh and zippy enough. You'll get through it in a single sitting, but it would make a useful pre-flight checklist for any fiction manuscript.

Certain Amazon reviewers seem to have found this book personally offensive, and the examples of mistakes insulting to unpublished writers. On the other hand, one of those reviewers doesn't know that a 'straw man' is a deliberate misrepresentation of an opponent's position, designed to be easily refuted, and not a deliberate exaggeration designed to make a salient point clearer, which is what the parodic examples in this book are. I'd say they're made so comically awful partly in order to *avoid* offending or discouraging unpublished writers.

The implicit 201st piece of advice here is probably: if you're dreadful enough to find the examples insulting, and you can't see how bad you are even after it's pointed out to you, give up.
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72 of 80 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny, sarcastic and useful, 19 Oct 2008
By Adam Graham Malster (Taiwan) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: How Not to Write a Novel (Paperback)
This brief little guide to how not to write is two things in one. Firstly, it is a self help book intending to help budding novelists avoid mistakes that get most novels rejected by publishers. Secondly however, this is also a funny book in its own right and could be read and found to be entertaining even if you didn't want to write a novel.

I bought this book as a writing guide and in this respect found it quite useful. In the first few pages I managed to spot some of the areas where I had been going wrong in my own writing. The book as a whole contains a mixture of tips, some that you may think are obvious and others not, but all of them are insightful in some way.

The book is very, very sarcastic which certainly appeals to my sense of humour. At a few places I did laugh out loud and one particular part did cause a few minutes of chuckling. There is also a distinct dislike for the author Ayn Rand running through these pages which I can but applaud loudly.

If there is a downside to the book it is that now I am reading fiction through the lens of Mittlemark and Newman. I've started seeing some really obvious mistakes in the work of famous and respected authors, and I have to try not to make this prevent me from enjoying their work. Oh well, I suppose if published authors aren't perfect then there is hope for us all.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Ideal handbook for failed novelists, 14 Feb 2009
By Damaskcat (UK) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)      
This book probably should be on every fiction writer's bookshelf. Perhaps it was a bit smug in places and very sarcastic though in my opinion only the smugness is a fault. It describes particular faults and then provides specially written paragraphs to illustrate each point.

The only reason I did not give it five stars was because of the gratuitous bad language which did not help illustrate anything and the persistent Americansims.

I found it helped me see where I'm going wrong with my own writing. It's a interesting book to dip into as well and it can be read by anyone who's interested in fiction. The trouble is you are likely to study anything you read with a much more critical eye when you have read it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Buy this book
If you're thinking of writing and want some advice in an easy to read and entertaining format, this is the book for you. Read more
Published 7 days ago by Mrs. Judith Worham

2.0 out of 5 stars Meh
It was easy to read and such, funny in places, but some of it felt a little condescending, smug and unhelpful. Read more
Published 18 days ago by raven_guest

5.0 out of 5 stars Very, Very Useful
Very funny book even if you're not writing a novel. I am and have found this the best yet. With extremely funny examples instead of the usual dry advice it gives very apt... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Samantha Bentley

5.0 out of 5 stars ' save yourself the shame'
Hilariously apt. Just the book to knock the stuffing out of your presumption. Think GREEN! Save another tree ! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Mr. P. L. Scully

3.0 out of 5 stars Remember-the-obvious how-to-book
Humorous? Yes. "How not to write a novel" is about how to write a book with no plot, cardboard people, and using horrible language. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Louise Amkaer

2.0 out of 5 stars How not to learn about writing
It may be incorrect to refer to the authors as setting up straw men, but it is certainly true that the they select a series of easy targets to attack. Read more
Published 4 months ago by S. G. Raggett

4.0 out of 5 stars How not to write a novel indeed.
A very good book. Informative, sharp and deliciously sarcastic in tone. Very British in style, if I may say so. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Bianca White

1.0 out of 5 stars How not to write advice
The concept is good - point out the mistakes that a would-be novelist should avoid - and the book is even funny sometimes, but the examples it uses of bad writing are too... Read more
Published 5 months ago by G. Neto

1.0 out of 5 stars Useless.
Didn't really teach me a thing. Tries too self-consciously to be witty rather than to teach. Teach Yourself was much more useful! Read more
Published 6 months ago by Mr. JAMES D. PRUDHOE

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and Helpful
A useful and laugh-out-loud book about mistakes commonly made by unpublished authors, how to avoid them and how to get published. Worth the price for the cover alone.
Published 6 months ago by Caroline Lawrence

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