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How NOT to Write a Novel: 200 Mistakes to avoid at All Costs if You Ever Want to Get Published [Paperback]

Howard Mittelmark , Sandra Newman
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
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Book Description

29 Jan 2009

There are many ways prospective authors routinely sabotage their own work. But why leave it to guesswork? Misstep by misstep, How Not to Write a Novel shows how you can ensure that your manuscript never rises above the level of unpublishable drivel; that your characters are unpleasant, dimensionless versions of yourself; that your plot is digressive, tedious and unconvincing; and that your style is reliant on mangled clichés and sesquipedalian malapropisms. Alternatively, you can use it to identify the most common mistakes, avoid them and actually write a book that works.

Guardian Award shortlisted novelist Sandra Newman and veteran editor Howard Mittelmark have distilled 30 years of teaching, editing, writing and reviewing fiction into a hilarious and liberating guide that is the perfect read for anyone who's ever laughed at a badly written piece of prose and for anyone who's ever penned one - and doesn't want to do it again.


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Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin (29 Jan 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0141038543
  • ISBN-13: 978-0141038544
  • Product Dimensions: 12.9 x 1.6 x 19.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 17,599 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Review

This writing how-to should carry a warning: it's the kind of book one reads at the expense of all other responsibilities. (Library Journal )

A great resource and a fun read with a lot of solid advice for would-be novelists. (Publishers Weekly )

Review

'[a] hilarious, wickedly observed and deeply useful guide'

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 39 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars very entertaining but not particularly helpful 23 Nov 2009
Format:Paperback
I found this book extremely entertaining, and it would pass a couple of amusing hours for anyone, wannabe writer or not. I laughed out loud at points, and it certainly does stand out from all the other writing help guides out there.

However, the most notable way it stands out is by not being particularly helpful. There are some useful pointers in here; however, it mainly gives the impression of being an opportunity for the authors to vent some anger towards hopeless writers. The style is condescending, smug and mocking. The fact is, however, that the hopeless writers at whom this book is clearly aimed would have no use for it: they will never be successful, no matter what. Those writers who stand a fighting chance - who have basic ability but need some help - are the ones that benefit from writing guides and this book is not for them. The examples are so clearly ludicrous, and many of the pointers so blatantly obvious, that if you don't already know them you should stay away from fiction at all costs. Therefore the authors have defeated their own objective. They manage to poke fun at, and alienate, the very audience they're trying to sell to.

I think there is a lot of value to this book. However, it should be rebranded in the 'humour' section, as it is definitely an entertaining read rather than a helpful guide to novel writing.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Remember-the-obvious how-to-book 31 July 2009
Format:Paperback
Humorous? Yes. "How not to write a novel" is about how to write a book with no plot, cardboard people, and using horrible language. And that is funny, but the sarcasm does get a little old, when every one of the 200 mistakes is "attacked" in the same way.

Full of gold nuggets? There are some - hey, not everyone strikes it rich. This is a great little remember-the-obvious-how-to-book, but then again, I guess the obvious mistakes are also the most recurrent mistakes.

All in all, this is a humorous little book, but not the book that will be dog-eared and underlined and used time and time again in my writing endeavours.

Louise.
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61 of 66 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and helpful 5 Mar 2009
Format:Paperback
This isn't a writing course -- it won't help you generate characters, overcome writer's block or find the inspiration to unleash the artist within. But it does contain some very good pointers towards the kinds of fault that will send your manuscript into the waste basket, and it's written by people who know.

I found it intermittently very funny, and usually helpful; some of the recommendations will be familiar to anyone who's read anything similar before, but it's mostly fresh and zippy enough. You'll get through it in a single sitting, but it would make a useful pre-flight checklist for any fiction manuscript.

Certain Amazon reviewers seem to have found this book personally offensive, and the examples of mistakes insulting to unpublished writers. On the other hand, one of those reviewers doesn't know that a 'straw man' is a deliberate misrepresentation of an opponent's position, designed to be easily refuted, and not a deliberate exaggeration designed to make a salient point clearer, which is what the parodic examples in this book are. I'd say they're made so comically awful partly in order to *avoid* offending or discouraging unpublished writers.

The implicit 201st piece of advice here is probably: if you're dreadful enough to find the examples insulting, and you can't see how bad you are even after it's pointed out to you, give up.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun book
Not many books make me laugh out loud, but this did. It does contain useful advice for budding authors too.
Published 29 days ago by Miss A Geddes
4.0 out of 5 stars A Very Helpful Checklist
This book contains some useful "don'ts" when constructing your novel. On the face of it, they seem like common sense. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Stevos
5.0 out of 5 stars Already read the book at my local library and so decided to buy my...
having borrowed this for months at my local library, i enjoyed the authors comments and advice and decided to buy my own as really good read and information in a clear well written... Read more
Published 1 month ago by jayned10
5.0 out of 5 stars How NOT to Write a Novel
I thought this was wonderful. It's certainly worth the read for any budding writer.

I've read a few 'How to' books and they're more instruction manuals which need... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Lucy
5.0 out of 5 stars Very useful and funny with it
It is catchier than a do it yourself writing book. Full of tips and illustrated with very amusing examples. Recommended to aspiring writers
Published 2 months ago by Cath
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and funny
I'll divide this review into two seperate parts, since this kind of book generally has two distinct audiences. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Oezlum
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Advice
This book is really about how to write a novel but takes a novel appraoch (excuse the pun). It points out pitfalls that novice novelists make and then demonstrate them by writing... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Wendy Jones
3.0 out of 5 stars Don't worship it
This book contains a load of so-called mistakes which will never get you published, but I have actually seen a lot of these "mistakes" in books which HAVE been published and have... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Jo
3.0 out of 5 stars Not What I Hoped For
The book makes some good valid points but I found the way that the points are made to be very laboured. Another reviewer has called this smug and I would have to agree. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Nigel A M Seed
3.0 out of 5 stars A fun,but flawed read. Take with a pinch of salt.
I enjoyed reading this. It was fun, humorous, and not completely without merit. However there are definitely some things that irked me about it. Read more
Published 13 months ago by lee
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