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How To Lose Friends & Alienate People [Paperback]

Toby Young
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
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Book Description

18 July 2002

In 1995, high-flying British journalist Toby Young left London for New York to become a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. Other Brits had taken Manhattan - Alistair Cooke, Tina Brown, Anna Wintour - so why couldn't he? Surely, it would only be a matter of time before the Big Apple was in the palm of his hand.

But things did not go according to plan. Within the space of two years he was fired from Vanity Fair, banned from the most fashionable bar in the city and couldn't get a date for love or money. Even the local AA group wanted nothing to do with him.

How To Lose Friends & Alienate People is Toby Young's hilarious account of the five years he spent steadily working his way down the New York food chain, from glossy magazine editor to crash-test dummy for interactive sex toys. But it's not just a collection of self-deprecating anecdotes. It's also a seditious attack on the culture of celebrity from inside the belly of the beast. Not since Bonfire of the Vanities has the New York A-list been so mercilessly lampooned - and it all really happened!


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Product details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Abacus; New Ed edition (18 July 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0349114854
  • ISBN-13: 978-0349114859
  • Product Dimensions: 12.6 x 3.5 x 19.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 15,583 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Amazon Review

In How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, Toby Young--columnist and former co-editor (with Julie Burchill and Cosmo Landesman) of The Modern Review--portrays himself as a man pulled to the New York media set by twin desires: to trade one-liners with modern day Dorothy Parkers and Robert Benchleys over very dry martinis, and to drink Cristal from a supermodel's cleavage in the back of a limo. In the event, neither is fulfilled and desire shows itself up to be the snake that eats its own tail--endless and ultimately encircling a big fat zero.

How to Lose... is Young's own telling of his disastrous five-year career in New York journalism, initiated when he is offered a job at Vanity Fair, Conde Nast's flagship star-fest. Young may have been hired for his snappy prose, but his real genius turns out to be antagonising the rich and famous. He is the British bulldog in the Armani-clad china shop of the politically correct glossy posse. He hires a strip-o-gram on bring-your-daughter-to-work day, commits the cardinal sin of asking celebs about their religion and sexual orientation, gets blasted on coke while trying to do a photo shoot and spends less time pulling up his chair to the modern day equivalent of the Algonquin table than trying to blag his way past "clipboard Nazis" barring his way into showbiz parties. Oh, and he gets sued by Tina Brown and Harold Evans. This is the place, he soon discovers, where greatness is measured not in your prose stylings, but how far up the guest list you are for Vanity Fair's Oscar party. But two things raise this particular loser's story above the crowd. First is his spot-on outsider's inside observations on phenomena such as the rigidly Austen-ite New York dating scene. Second, he has the columnist's knack of connecting everyday experience to social politics in order to grind both personal and political axes. In the adoration of the celebrity aristocracy by the masses, he sees the realisation of de Toqueville's warning of "the tyranny of the majority" and witnesses, for those lower down the food chain, the corruption of the "be all that you can be" meritocracy America promises. If these are soft targets, then the hilariously toe-curling experiences that lead him to take aim are well worth the price of a cocktail. --Fiona Buckland --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

I'll rot in hell before I give that little bastard a quote for his book (Julie BURCHILL )

This man, Toby Young, is a rat and a snake and, to hear some tell it, also a raccoon. He deserves all these nasty blurbs (Dave Eggers, author of A HEARTBREAKING WORK of STAGGERING GENIUS. )

In How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, Toby Young--columnist and former co-editor (with Julie Burchill and Cosmo Landesman) of The Modern Review--portrays himself as a man pulled to the New York media set by twin desires: to trade one-liners with modern day Dorothy Parkers and Robert Benchleys over very dry martinis, and to drink Cristal from a supermodel's cleavage in the back of a limo. In the event, neither is fulfilled and desire shows itself up to be the snake that eats its own tail--endless and ultimately encircling a big fat zero. (How to Lose... is Young's own telling of his disastrous five-year career in New York journalism, initiated when he is offered a job at Vanity Fair, Conde Nast's flagship star-fest. Young may have been hired for his snappy prose, but his real genius turns )

Fiona Buckland, AMAZON.CO.UK REVIEW

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Appropriate title 29 Mar 2005
Format:Paperback
It is very difficult to like Toby Young (on the basis of this book or his frequent appearances as a talking head on TV shows), however this is a very good and entertaining book.

It tells the story of Toby Young's time in New York working for Vanity Fair magazine. Toby Young is an interesting, if not particularly attractive, character. He is a very strange mixture of high brow and base instincts coupled with a rather adolescent sense of humour and an amazing ability to offend both intentionally and unintentionally. He seems very self-aware in reflection but is clearly unable to use this self-awareness in the heat of the moment. At times he seems to suffer from 'Roger Rabbit' syndrome - he must say it because it is funny (at least to him) regardless of the consequences.

Toby Young arrives in New York expecting to the presented with a smorgasbord of attractive women bowled over by his English accent, evident (at least to him) intelligence and his celebrity connections (from his position at Vanity Fair). This does not happen. He expects to have a brilliant career at Vanity Fair but he finds the office politics difficult (because he is not a believer) and his sense of humour and capacity of foot in mouth constantly land him in trouble. He becomes obsessed with celebrities but demonstrates a total lack of ability to talk to them in interviews or social situations - a bit of a problem when working for a celebrity magazine. He finds many aspects of life at Vanity Fair distasteful and cannot keep his mouth shut about them leading him inexorably towards the door.

Toby Young comes from the great British tradition of intellectual scepticism (lapsing into cynicism and negativity) and through this filter he is often startlingly perceptive about Vanity Fair, New York and the USA in general. These are the best bits of the book. The chapter on Harvard is very interesting - the lack of intellectual diversity and curiosity appalled him as did the dogmatism and lack of dissent. He is quite perceptive about sexual and office politics although this is somewhat tainted by some of his personal attitudes. The analysis of the popularity of Jane Austen and the New York marriage market is spot on and hilarious; as is the analysis of the extremely hierarchical nature of US society, the so-called meritocracy, and the appalling behaviour in engenders. He is also very good on the shallowness of Vanity Fair and the fashion world in general. Less impressively he has problems with homophobia or rather an inability to notice that people are gay and then saying something ridiculously inappropriate. He also flirts with sexism although some of this is due to a descent into a rather laddish worldview caused by his inability to cope with Vanity Fair and New York.

This is a rather uneven book sometimes very intelligent and perceptive (most of the analysis), at others infantile and rather silly (most of the stuff actually about Toby Young). However, it is a very entertaining book if you can cope with Young's less attractive qualities.

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Over-hyped 2 Dec 2008
Format:Paperback
This book is funny and entertaining but not brilliantly written. Toby Young repeats himself endlessly and uses too many quotes from philosophers and sociologists in an attempt to make himself sound intelligent. I'm sure he is, but that isn't the way to add intelligence to a comic memoir. He also makes a little too much of his father's credentials. This is worth reading, especially if you work in the media, but I'm glad I didn't buy it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't put it down. 21 May 2007
By Zara
Format:Paperback
I could not put this book down once I had picked it up. It gives a great insight into American celebrity culture and the whole ridulousness of it all. But that doesn't stop Young desperately trying to be part of the social scene he claims to despise. Amusing at times, with some real laugh out loud moments, it was still hard to relate to Young as he comes across as a strange individula, a person whom you definitely wouldn't like to work closely with or share a house with. Nonetheless a good, clever writer, this book has certinly put him on the map of sorts. Even if it's not a map of the A-listers he so loves to write about.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Awful - A stroll through the grave yard of Simon Pegg's career
This film has a lot of high profile actors in it (Megan Fox, Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Gillian Anderson and Thandie Newton), but it really doesn't do justice to the book by Toby... Read more
Published 21 months ago by D. Bowtell
5.0 out of 5 stars A classic of its kind
Toby Young has written a wonderfully funny but thoughtful memoir of his time at Conde Nast as a contributing editor at Vanity Fair during the last five years of the nineties. Read more
Published 22 months ago by CraggyDVD
5.0 out of 5 stars Really enjoyed this - unexpectedly
I wasn't expecting a great deal from this book for some reason, but I found it thoroughly enjoyable and accessible. Read more
Published on 26 Feb 2011 by M.B.
4.0 out of 5 stars Candid and funny
Journalist Toby Young writes candidly about his exploits in New York while working for Vanity Fair and "lads' mag" Gear. Read more
Published on 24 Jan 2011 by susie
1.0 out of 5 stars Kindle prices is a rip off
OK - this is a great book, but there is something VERY wrong when the Kindle edition is more expensive than the paperback (both prices were discounted off the list price). Read more
Published on 4 Nov 2010 by I. J. Matthews
5.0 out of 5 stars Toby Young - A Very Gifted Prat
This book is very funny, very informative and a valuable and interesting insight into life in the New York/Conde Naste scene in the 90's. Read more
Published on 10 Oct 2009 by missy-b
5.0 out of 5 stars PG Wodehouse
Is this man being the Englishman of our time ?
He looks like something from the Lord of the Rings and has the energy of 10. Read more
Published on 8 Mar 2009 by Mr. N. Bonsor
4.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly Thoughtful
I bought this book as I wanted a light read and a bit of cheering up. In some respects it failed to deliver this but did deliver an unexpectedly thought provoking read. Read more
Published on 12 Feb 2009 by Michael Kilbride
3.0 out of 5 stars Some stories are best kept fictional...
This book is about this British author's experience in making a career in journalism in New York, having landed his "dream job" of working for Vanity Fair, and how he completely... Read more
Published on 8 Jan 2009 by O. Cheng
4.0 out of 5 stars Schmoozing for Britain
Schmoozing for Britain

They have now made this in to a film with the excellent Simon Pegg. Read more
Published on 25 Nov 2008 by Peter Wade
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