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How Could He Do It?

How Could He Do It? [Kindle Edition]

Emma Charles
2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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Product Description

Book Description

A heartbreaking true story of a daughter betrayed by the father she loved.

Product Description

'In many ways we were an ordinary family: mum, dad, two kids, three dogs, one rabbit, two guinea pigs. I stayed at home, studying with the Open University, and dad worked, and the kids went to private schools. We lived in a rather nice semi in a rather nice area of Edinburgh, with a rather nice Volvo in the drive, and took rather nice holidays, wearing rather nice clothes. I loved Daniel deeply and I thought - no, I was sure - he loved me deeply, too. And we both loved our kids deeply (I thought). And that was as it should be. We had it made.

In some ways we weren't a completely ordinary family. There was Daniel, for one; he worked for most of the time we were married as a ship's engineer, and so he was away from home for up to four months and then home on leave for up to two. And Tamsin, our fifteen-year-old daughter, had specific learning difficulties.

But I'm pretty ordinary: an unlikely heroine. I am disabled because of back problems. I'm pretty fat - I've put on a lot of weight through lack of exercise and, yes, comfort-eating! Not the stuff of movies.

But I never for a moment dreamt that my family was all that extraordinary - until that day when Tamsin broke down and told me that her father, my loving husband, had been sexually abusing her.'

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 403 KB
  • Print Length: 356 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1848090013
  • Publisher: Preface Digital (4 Sep 2008)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0031RS9BQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #245,277 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars She just kind of annoyed me in the end. 22 Jan 2011
The thing that really stuck with me from this book was that the author went into some detail about why abusers abuse, and why they feel no remorse for doing so. I found it interesting in that way, that she detailed how the abuser believes they are doing nothing wrong, and convinces themselves of this fact. It is sickening that the person can then convince other people of this fact. I thought the way that the husband's parents turned on Emma and offered her no support was shocking.
I sympathised with Emma through most of the book. Right up till when she informed us she was joining a protest against making fox hunting illegal. How can she be against one kind of cruelty and support another?
It just made no sense to me.
I think it is lovely that she stuck by her daughter and believed her straight away. But it's revolting that she thinks a horrible practice like killing foxes for fun should be allowed to be practiced. I am glad the have outlawed it.
It's a shame she has had such financial worries since her husband and she seperated.
Although maybe if she got rid of a horse or something she'd have been able to afford to live better on the amount of money they were being handed out. Living above your means like that is probably what made her had to write a book. Now perhaps they have enough money to have another horse. Oh good.
I know when I was in 'poverty' I didn't have a house let alone a horse! Sheesh.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars An Unrewarding Read 3 Oct 2010
Format:Kindle Edition
I found this an unsatisfying read. I'm sure this family have had a terrible experience but I don't think this account does them any justice. I found myself losing interest halfway through, but carried on only for the sake of finishing the book.There just didn't seem to be enough here to hold the interest.
The details of the abuse are never really described, in even very general terms,and though this is understandable in terms of protecting the feelings of those involved, it still leaves a vagueness at the core of the book about what actually took place. The abuser/father seems only partially present. For a lot of the time, once the abuse has been disclosed, we seem to be waiting for him to return from abroad to face the consequences of his actions. Yet when he finally comes back he never actually appears in the book, so there's never any real showdown, which comes as a bit of an anti-climax.
The survivor/daughter's mental and emotional difficulties never seem to be dealt with in any depth. In fact, for someone who has a first-class honours degree in psychology the author's perspective seems surprisingy superficial. Her daughter's bouts of bizarre behaviour are referred to simply as "freakies", whatever they are. Her daughter describes auditory and visual hallucinations that compel her to self-harm, and a diaqnosis of schizophrenia is eventually made, yet later we are told this is a misdiagnosis, that she is actually neurotic, but these bizarre symptoms are never really examined or explained.
The areas of life where we get the most detail are those that are the most mundane to read about. There are financial worries, housing issues, legal wrangles, academic study, and so on.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing & Self-pitying. 24 April 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I read a lot on rape, sexual assault & child abuse but I found the author of this book one of the most annoying & self-pitying people I have ever read about. Granted, I have never met her but she whinges throughout the text about how hard-done-by she & her daughters are. The details of the abuse are never outlined & it seems the father/abuser got away with a lot simply because the survivor, Tamsin was too mentally fragile to go to court & testify. Luckily he pled guilty to the offences & there was no dispute, again due to Tamsin's inability to testify. I felt as angry as Emma that he did not face the full consequences, then continued to attempt contact after completing his sentence. The issue of mental illness was never addressed properly either & I think the seriousness of Tamsin's psychotic episodes being simply described as 'freakies' seemed to discredit & invalidate her distress, her mother being the main culprit for this. Emma frequently talks of the financial difficulties the family faced in the aftermath. I'm not saying that the distress wasn't there, but to be so self-pitying about it made me feel even more sorry for Tamsin. I have seen poverty & poverty doesn't include a parent gaining every disability benefit going, studying at the Open University (grant-aided, might I add), & having horses. So you had to move from your nice house to a small council flat in a rough area & move the girls from private education to state education...Is this woman for real? If I were in that situation, yes I would be angry & I would be bitter but I would make the best out of a bad situation to provide my children with positivity so they can grow up to be strong women. The lack of positivity surely added to Tamsin & Claire's distress? Read more ›
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars my take on this 7 Jan 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
My daughter purchased this book for me. She knows I read Cathy Glass books and thought I would like to read this one.

I did enjoy this book, although that is not the proper way of saying this as its not a book of enjoyment to read what this woman and her daughters went through.

The mother has her own problems, being disabled and I so admired her for cutting her husband off without question. Why I read this book in 2 days was because I am a mother, and its written from a mothers point and what she goes through to support her 2 daughters and forsakes herself at times, as most mothers do.

All the things she went through with her daughters was terrible and knock on effects to one of her daughters mental state.

I won't say anything more than that or I'd be telling you the whole story. At the end of the book the details this mother went through she had so much insight to why and how these abusers get away with it. It surprised me at the end.

I was so glad when this family turned a corner and moved on and things get better for them.
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