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How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book [Hardcover]

Martin Howard , Colin Stimpson
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
Price: 12.99 & FREE Delivery in the UK. Details
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Book Description

18 Aug 2008
This unique book presents delicious recipes from witches around the world. Every dish has one thing in common: the main ingredients are children! Many witches have contributed, from Barfa Stew-Wart in the United States, India's favourite Kideeta Skingh and Britain's own Janie Groviller.Featuring a short introduction to each recipe by the general editor Esmelia Sniff (who despises all her contributors and also suffers from severe incontinence), each witch introduces herself (giving a little backstory) and presents her recipe.The text is written with a variety of voices, each more preposterous than the last and written to appeal to children, but with many jokes that will make this a hit with adults too. The darkness of the subject matter is offset with laugh-out-loud humour and the absurdity of the witches' characters. Designed to resemble a witchy version of a modern cookbook, it is illustrated throughout with stunning drawings of the witches and their dishes.This title presents an hilarious send up of an established format. It is superbly illustrated. It will appeal to children and adults alike. It makes laugh-out-loud funny.

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How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book + Ultimate Children's Cookbook (Dk)
Price For Both: 23.49

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 80 pages
  • Publisher: Pavilion Books (18 Aug 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1862057710
  • ISBN-13: 978-1862057715
  • Product Dimensions: 27.7 x 21.6 x 1.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 255,991 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description


'Quite simply the best book for cooking with children ever written. The recipes are mouth-watering and Esmelia Sniff is a laugh-out-loud kitchen nightmare. There are very few chefs who can change the way we think about food, but thanks to Esmelia and her pointy-hatted friends I'll be putting youngsters on the menu in all my restaurants from now on. Flippin excellent!' Gordon Ramsay --Gordon Ramsay

'Like Fanny Cradock meets the Adams Family. Better value than Gordon, Jamie and Nigella put together, the recipes fill your belly and you won't need babysitters anymore' --Dave Myers (Hairy Biker)

From the Author

We really really hope that you enjoy this book as much as we enjoyed making it. Esmelia and co. will be back, but in the meantime if you'd like to read more you can now visit The Ghastly Blog of Esmelia Sniff.

Happy cackling

Martin and Colin

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

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4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wicked! (from the director of THE LION KING) 8 Sep 2008
Who knew that all those pesky children would make such lovely dishes? Really, my wife and I have been trying these recipes and the neighborhood has never been quieter. With Martin Howard's demented prose and Colin Stimpson's muculent illustrations, no area of bad taste has been left unexplored. I can't say I'd recommend this book- my mouth's too full of Kate and Sidney pie! Yum!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant 31 Aug 2008
This is a fantastic book, well written, very funny and the illustrations are pure brilliance. It charges the imagination from the first page through to the humorous advertisements at the back. Its a must for any childs bookcase. Great enjoyment for both children and adults.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspired! 2 Sep 2008
By Helen
My nine year old son, a very reluctant reader, was given this book and has hardly put it down. It is a perfect combination of excellent writing, with 'rude' bits for children and something a bit more sophisticated for adults, and marvellous illustrations, which bring the whole thing alive. A great buy for any child from 8 - 80.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars outrageously funny 8 Aug 2008
This book blew my socks off. I bought it for my children as a bedtime story book and could barely get through it for laughing so much. The humour appeals to both adults and children so it is a joy for me to read and the children adore it too. The illustrations are delightful and the characters of the individual witches are hilarious. My favourite by far is Esmelia Smiff - the insightful, vicious and downright rude editor who comments on the other witches recipes and lifestyles with unreserved disdain. There are so many quotable parts of this book, it is difficult to choose but if I had to narrow it down, my absolute - almost wet myself from laughing moment is in the Irish witches recipe - Iris O'Rambly. "WHen Irish eyes are confiscated by the police." Buy it, read it, get the joke and laugh with me. Childrens books like this are one in a million.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Classic of the Culinary Genre :-) 12 Dec 2009
By Mrs. H. V. Minor VINE VOICE
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
This book now has pride of place in my extensive collection of cookery books by the Great and Good of the Culinary World. It is chock-full of chortles and snorts of laughter as well as some truly inventive ways of cooking tasty children. Although some of the ingredients are exotic and hard to come by, like swamp water with dark brown ooze as well as the green slimy stuff floating on top, I find the inventive chef can always substitute with a bucketful of something yummy from a stagnant pond or the local sewage treatment plant. The taste may not be as authentic as genuine swamp water but it will make an interesting variation! Although I hate Esmelia Sniff like poison - the mangey old baggage - I reluctantly have to congratulate her on this collection of recipes and a book which, I am sure, will become a classic of the genre. Not that it's a patch on some of the cooking I've done with children but then I never write my recipes down and they are all the inspiration of the moment - not that Madam Sniff would know anything about inspiration, momentary or otherwise! Happy witching - oh, and cooking . . . .
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Redhill, UK 3 Sep 2008
What a masterpiece ! Hilarious book with superb illustrations. Perfect gift for all ages - I predict a Christmas bestseller !
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for those tired days 9 Mar 2011
When the kids have just about sucked every last smidgen of humour from your sense, this is the book to read. Hilarious, laugh out loud funny and will quickly drag you from anger back into the realm of the insane.
Perfect for grumpy old boots.
NB Ingredients NOT included.
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