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How to Build a Girl [Kindle Edition]

Caitlin Moran
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (195 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £7.99
Kindle Price: £2.90 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Book Description

The phenomenal Number One Sunday Times Bestseller in hardback and now Number One in paperback!

My name’s Johanna Morrigan. I’m fourteen, and I’ve just decided to kill myself.

I don’t really want to die, of course! I just need to kill Johanna, and build a new girl. Dolly Wilde will be everything I want to be, and more! But as with all the best coming-of-age stories, it doesn’t exactly go to plan…

A Number One Sunday Times bestseller in hardback and now Number One in paperback, from Caitlin Moran, the award-winning and Sunday Times bestselling author of How to Be a Woman.

Product Description


"spirited coming of age novel romps from strength to strength...I'm a Moran fan" -- Lionel Shriver The Times "rude, big-hearted, wise-cracking novel" -- Christina Patterson The Sunday Times "a Portnoy's Complaint for girls... when I see this book described as "laugh-out-loud funny" I feel affronted; it could make you laugh out loud with one hand tied behind its back, while wanking itself off to fantasies of Satan. Laughing out loud is just the start" -- Zoe Williams The Guardian "an entertaining read, with Moran in fine voice - hilarious, wild, imaginative and highly valuable...Moran is in danger of becoming to female masturbation what Keats was to Nightingales..." -- Barbara Ellen The Observer "Moran also writes brilliantly about music, and especially about what music can do. She carries Johanna through this novel with incredible verve, extravagant candour, and a lot of heart. Johanna is ... a wonderful heroine. A heroine who cares, who bravely sallies forth and makes things happen, who gives of herself, who is refreshingly unashamed. She's so confident, it's glorious" The Independent on Sunday

Book Description

The number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, the debut grown-up novel from Caitlin Moran, bestselling author of How To Be A Woman

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 2048 KB
  • Print Length: 357 pages
  • Publisher: Ebury Digital (3 July 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0091949009
  • ISBN-13: 978-0091949006
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (195 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #248 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
105 of 111 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars You've read it already....... 8 July 2014
.....only with different names. This is basically How To Be a Woman all over again, only the heroine's surname is Morrigan not Moran. Actually had to stop a couple of times to check I hadn't accidentally picked up the other book by mistake. There is not much new here.

Moran is a very funny writer, but please. Also all the reviews calling it a "debut novel"? Come on, she's been writing books for decades. She is essentially the female Kingsley Amis: you get the same entertaining, but far too familiar book again, and again, and again. How many home schooled working class 90s teens from Wolverhampton do we need to hear about for her to acknowledge, we got the point?

This seems to be written for adults who want to read the YA fiction they wish they had in the 90s instead of real books. OK for all that but I expected more. Moran has a lot of talent. Here's hoping someone pushes her to write about something other than herself next time.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars When not shrill, mawkish 24 April 2015
Moran is interesting in 200-word newspaper columns. But in large doses? I enjoyed the book for a while. Then its louchely elbowing insistence became tedious. I finished it without enthusiasm.

It's of a piece with her rushed, tumbling speech in interviews, thrusting forward, interrupting, rattling through rehearsed anecdote after rehearsed anecdote inappropriate for the conversation but ! It will get a laugh ! It will hold centre stage ! Pay attention ! Pay attention ! Pay attention to ME ! ! ! -- Yes. We're paying attention. What would you like us to learn from you? -- Er... There isn't enough love in the world, and we should be nicer to one another! -- Ah. Thank you.

Maybe that's what one has to do as one of a dozen children if one is to be noticed at all; be the one who never walks, only tap-dances. "If I can't be graceful, I'll be loud." But oh, what a relief for everyone else, when Caitlin leaves the room, when the clatter stops.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Here we go again... 26 Aug. 2014
It’s ironic that a novel about a young woman who becomes a music journalist is like listening to a monkey endlessly pounding out the same two notes on a piano.

Moran is a good writer, stylistically you cannot fault her, but her subject matter has now officially not just worn thin, but completely and utterly worn through. Despite the disclaimer at the beginning, this is really just a warming-over of her own story, already well and truly milked in How to be a Woman and squeezed even further dry by her columns.

The only thing that I can see is different between her own life is the number of siblings. As is well documented, Moran is one of eight, in this novel there are “only” five children, with the youngest twins. Mercifully, this lets the reader off of her regular entrenched proselytising about the welfare state and her belief that having almost a football team of children when you have no hope at all of financially supporting them at all is some kind of noble enterprise.

Most worrying of all is the ending; it is left quite open, with the heroine’s move to London. I have a feeling that this is not the last we’ll hear of Dolly Wilde.

Water finds its level; Moran is unlikely to rise any furhter than this until she finds some new subject matter. Even enfants terribles all need to grow up some day.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Caitlin Moran's a one-trick pony 26 July 2014
By Danny
Format:Kindle Edition
This is How To Be A Woman - re-named, re-packed and re-cycled as a shallow money-making exercise by Moran and her publishers.

It's almost as if she went through all the discarded notes/entries for HTBAW and used them here. Lazy, unconvincing and - at times - a bit sexist.

Couldn't she have at least have changed the story location from Wolverhampton? I'm amazed the editor didn't demand this.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
When I read the forward and preface to this book I admit I was concerned that I was about to read the earnest, heartfelt, and completely uninteresting prose/blog of a bright, sincere teenager. Boy, am I a dope, or what?

This book is, in fact, earnest, heartfelt, sincere and bright. It is also searingly funny, completely engaging, bawdy, rowdy, and brutally honest. This is not a lost-to-drugs-and-back story, or a tale of redemption after hitting bottom, or a melodrama fancied up with some new age or self-help wisdom.

It is an honest, rueful, deadpan story about growing up, spiced with exaggeration for effect, naughty bits, some cutting self examination, a few romantic touches, and lots of cheerfully lacerating observations about life, families, society, and the music business.

This only works, or at least it will only hold book length attention, if the reader can connect with some fundamentally sound aspect of the narrator. I'm not doing 300 pages of train wreck. I might do 300 hundred pages of funny train wreck. I absolutely won't go near 300 pages of poor-victim-me train wreck. Well, this author, (or, actually the character she created), can come over to my house, drink too much wine, and tell stories all night, and that will be fine by me. (Actually, the actual author can come too, since she's probably alright as well.) (By the way, the heroine's name is "Johanna Morrigan". "Morrigan" is a figure from Irish mythology and is considered the goddess of 'battle, strife, and sovereignty'. Could there possibly be a better name for this character? No. For that touch alone you should read this book.)

But this is not just an extended stand-up comedy act or a string of clever zingers hung together to look like a novel.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars It takes real skill to write this simply and this well.
I loved it. Filled with more humanity, kindness and humour than you can really expect from a novel. Also lots of female masturbation which there isn't enough of nowadays
Published 1 day ago by Thomas Barr
4.0 out of 5 stars Moran recasts her writing into fiction. Similar but just as funny if...
4.5 stars

The author begins this book by saying emphatically that this story is NOT based on her own life or character. Read more
Published 2 days ago by K. J. Noyes
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
Immensely disappointing book - unnecessarily crude . don't waste your money
Published 3 days ago by Rosemary Whitehouse
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
Didn't even finish it...
Published 3 days ago by Sara Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Item as described, fast delivery.
Published 4 days ago by Katie Bevan
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Pressie
It was purchased as a gift for my daughter and she says it's very good
Published 5 days ago by Mike Gilbert
3.0 out of 5 stars It was good, nothing amazing but good.
This is the first Caitlin Moran book I have read and I picked it up on a whim that I might actually read it, I read about half of it as soon as I opened it. Read more
Published 5 days ago by evh21
5.0 out of 5 stars love your piece in the Times each
Well written, love your piece in the Times each week
Published 8 days ago by Lucy
1.0 out of 5 stars I also bought this book for my grown up daughter who loved Morans...
Very disappointing read. A am certainly not a prude but the book was vulgar and appeared to be written this way purely to shock. Read more
Published 10 days ago by Rebecca
4.0 out of 5 stars Hard to put down. This book is about growing ...
Hard to put down. This book is about growing up, family dynamics and finding yourself. It will make you laugh out loud and it will make you think of your own experience. Read more
Published 14 days ago by Mhairi Harrity
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