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How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving [Kindle Edition]

David Richo , Kathlyn Hendricks
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £15.50
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Product Description

Product Description

people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is
not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo
offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on
finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person.
Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness,
to Be an Adult in Relationships

explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our
relationships throughout life:

  1. Attention
    to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at
    play in our relationships.
  2. Acceptance
    of ourselves and others just as we are.
  3. Appreciation
    of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
  4. Affection
    shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
  5. Allowing
    life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without
    trying to take control.

deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the
five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from
judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism
about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's,
relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for
personal transformation.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1674 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Shambhala Publications (31 Aug 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00HZ374KY
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #19,625 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
59 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A book worth its weight in gold 28 Jan 2004
I have read a few books about relationships already in an effort to improve my close personal relationships, and have certainly enjoyed many of them, especially the more practical ones, which give first aid help! but this has to be the best book that has yet fallen into my hands, with no exaggeration. It not only gives practical help, but it is a class in timeless wisdom based on the Christian and buddhistic teachings, without getting religious or esoteric, but nonetheless deeply spiritual, and associating all these valuable everlasting teachings with our daily predicaments, with practical examples and beautiful insights. It's also masterfully written. If you are in your search for spiritual growth and true maturity this book can be one of the best investments you can ever make. I can only thank David Richo through this review for having written such an inspiring have instantly brought so much peace to my heart...Thanks
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Education i greatly needed... 30 Nov 2009
By Emma
I bought this book off the back of an emotional meltdown. I was looking
for something to show me, or at least help me, grow up and stop behaving
like a teenage girl.

I've bought so many books in the last few years about commitment issues,
how to get closer etc etc.. but none of them had any lasting affect on my life.

Then I stumbled on this title. It instantly jumped out at me as I knew I
hadn't been behaving like an adult. I'm human, I mess things up. I had lost
someone that I dearly loved and cherished - I knew it was time to look at
my part in the mess and admit that I had to change.

There are very few books that I can honestly say have changed my life, but
this book has played a big part in my change. It's been a slow and at times
painful bitter pill to swallow, but it has been the pill I needed. It's frank,
clear and precise without being cruel or stamp snidey stereo
types onto the sexes.

There are so many books about relationships and they seem to paint a broad
stroke of inequality over them. David Richo doesn't doesn't do that, he
doesn't put people into neat little boxes. He does however go into depth
about why we should be nicer to everyone (including ourselves). Talking
about the five "A's" - Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection
and finally Allowing.

He breaks the journey down - from getting together initially, having
conflict, growing apart, breaking up or down, accepting ourselves and
then getting back together unified and more loving.

At times there is a romantic element to his writing, but I relished
it and found him warm and sincere. This is a book for people wanting
to live life to the full and love more along the way. He keeps it
simple yet detailed enough to really make you think.

Spirituality and Love is a paradox after all.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars educational 23 Sep 2011
If you want to improve your relationship to your partner, parent, sibling, friends, etc. this is the book to read. Lots of exercises explained. It definitely opened my mind and understanding of how the other partner might think or feel.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the finest books I have read on relating 19 Oct 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Thank you Dave Richo. This book really opened my eyes to so much more than intimacy and relationships. I have never written a book review but for this book i was compelled to because its so powerfully written and so beautifully written. The book helped me to see my past wounds in the present and to respond differently. I have grown deeply and have let go of hurt, I also grieved and walked away from dysfunctional relationships as a result of this book. If you are really ready to do the work of taking responsibility for your life read this book!
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Transformed my view of relationships 19 Jan 2011
David Richo successfully marries a western psychological approach to an eastern spiritual approach in the matter of relationships. His vision is clear and easily adapted and allows for infinite growth and healing of all relationships: the primary one we have with ourselves; the archetypal ones with have with our parents; the ones we dare to have with other adults. Thank You David Richo for absolutely transforming how I hold my relationships. Before I engage in a "primary" relationship [I am newly single after 20+ years of being in committed relationships] with someone, I want them to read this book and be able to talk to me about it so that there is more space for true intimacy and loving.
Thank You, Thank You David Richo.......
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5.0 out of 5 stars Read it! 25 Jun 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Excellent, intelligent book. Well worth reading. Have found it to be helpful but not patronising.It challenges you but in a good and useful way.
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3.0 out of 5 stars OK 27 Mar 2014
By Nessa
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
As l had listened to his CD's first, l found the book had an awful lot of exercise's in. There was part's which were really helpful.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars ... book which has helped change our relationship for the better,...
A very insightful book which has helped change our relationship for the better, would recommend it to anyone who wants to develop a more conscious loving relationship with their... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Ms. C. A. Vergano
5.0 out of 5 stars Mutli layered
best book I have read on relationships, I wish I had read it years ago. It was a great combination of psychological and spiritual growth and taking responsibility for your self.
Published 11 months ago by bluemoon
3.0 out of 5 stars Not very practical
I liked the five keys identified by the author for effective relationships. On the other side, I did not find the book to be practical, therefore I doubt it will have any impact on... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Giuseppe C.
This book is a must for anyone to both understand themselves and the people they relate to...It is well-written and goes through all the different types of ego we and others have,... Read more
Published 17 months ago by Rosara
4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful
I have just finished Part 1 and so far, I find the content matter easy to read and relevant. I have identified a few more titles by the author I would like to read.
Published 18 months ago by DP
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting
A very interesting read, although I haven't finished it yet, bought for counselling course extra reading, was definately worth buying.
Published 21 months ago by Ms. S. Nosko
5.0 out of 5 stars Romantic elements
At times there is a romantic element to this writing, but I relished it and found him warm and sincere. Read more
Published on 16 Feb 2012 by D.Austin
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