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Product Description
Product Description
"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:
1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.
When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.
When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
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First Sentence
We are born with a capacity to dance together but not with the necessary training. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
We are born with a capacity to dance together but not with the necessary training. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
52 of 52 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I have read a few books about relationships already in an effort to improve my close personal relationships, and have certainly enjoyed many of them, especially the more practical ones, which give first aid help! but this has to be the best book that has yet fallen into my hands, with no exaggeration. It not only gives practical help, but it is a class in timeless wisdom based on the Christian and buddhistic teachings, without getting religious or esoteric, but nonetheless deeply spiritual, and associating all these valuable everlasting teachings with our daily predicaments, with practical examples and beautiful insights. It's also masterfully written. If you are in your search for spiritual growth and true maturity this book can be one of the best investments you can ever make. I can only thank David Richo through this review for having written such an inspiring book...you have instantly brought so much peace to my heart...Thanks
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I bought this book off the back of an emotional meltdown. I was looking
for something to show me, or at least help me, grow up and stop behaving
like a teenage girl.
I've bought so many books in the last few years about commitment issues,
how to get closer etc etc.. but none of them had any lasting affect on my life.
Then I stumbled on this title. It instantly jumped out at me as I knew I
hadn't been behaving like an adult. I'm human, I mess things up. I had lost
someone that I dearly loved and cherished - I knew it was time to look at
my part in the mess and admit that I had to change.
There are very few books that I can honestly say have changed my life, but
this book has played a big part in my change. It's been a slow and at times
painful bitter pill to swallow, but it has been the pill I needed. It's frank,
clear and precise without being cruel or stamp snidey stereo
types onto the sexes.
There are so many books about relationships and they seem to paint a broad
stroke of inequality over them. David Richo doesn't doesn't do that, he
doesn't put people into neat little boxes. He does however go into depth
about why we should be nicer to everyone (including ourselves). Talking
about the five "A's" - Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection
and finally Allowing.
He breaks the journey down - from getting together initially, having
conflict, growing apart, breaking up or down, accepting ourselves and
then getting back together unified and more loving.
At times there is a romantic element to his writing, but I relished
it and found him warm and sincere. This is a book for people wanting
to live life to the full and love more along the way. He keeps it
simple yet detailed enough to really make you think.
Spirituality and Love is a paradox after all.
for something to show me, or at least help me, grow up and stop behaving
like a teenage girl.
I've bought so many books in the last few years about commitment issues,
how to get closer etc etc.. but none of them had any lasting affect on my life.
Then I stumbled on this title. It instantly jumped out at me as I knew I
hadn't been behaving like an adult. I'm human, I mess things up. I had lost
someone that I dearly loved and cherished - I knew it was time to look at
my part in the mess and admit that I had to change.
There are very few books that I can honestly say have changed my life, but
this book has played a big part in my change. It's been a slow and at times
painful bitter pill to swallow, but it has been the pill I needed. It's frank,
clear and precise without being cruel or stamp snidey stereo
types onto the sexes.
There are so many books about relationships and they seem to paint a broad
stroke of inequality over them. David Richo doesn't doesn't do that, he
doesn't put people into neat little boxes. He does however go into depth
about why we should be nicer to everyone (including ourselves). Talking
about the five "A's" - Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection
and finally Allowing.
He breaks the journey down - from getting together initially, having
conflict, growing apart, breaking up or down, accepting ourselves and
then getting back together unified and more loving.
At times there is a romantic element to his writing, but I relished
it and found him warm and sincere. This is a book for people wanting
to live life to the full and love more along the way. He keeps it
simple yet detailed enough to really make you think.
Spirituality and Love is a paradox after all.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
David Richo successfully marries a western psychological approach to an eastern spiritual approach in the matter of relationships. His vision is clear and easily adapted and allows for infinite growth and healing of all relationships: the primary one we have with ourselves; the archetypal ones with have with our parents; the ones we dare to have with other adults. Thank You David Richo for absolutely transforming how I hold my relationships. Before I engage in a "primary" relationship [I am newly single after 20+ years of being in committed relationships] with someone, I want them to read this book and be able to talk to me about it so that there is more space for true intimacy and loving.
Thank You, Thank You David Richo.......
Thank You, Thank You David Richo.......
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
A book I'll keep going back to.
I read this book 12 months after experiencing a life changing break down of a relationship. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, even though I was proverbially giving myself a... Read more
Published 16 days ago by Elizabeth
Romantic elements
At times there is a romantic element to this writing, but I relished it and found him warm and sincere. Read more
Published 3 months ago by David S. Austin
educational
If you want to improve your relationship to your partner, parent, sibling, friends, etc. this is the book to read. Lots of exercises explained. Read more
Published 8 months ago by A. Rosengren
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