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Synopsis
"House as a Mirror of Self" is an unprecedented examination of our relationship to where we live, interwoven with compelling personal stories of the search for a place for the soul. It is not architecture or decorating styles or real estate, but about the more subtle bonds of feelings we experience with dwellings past and present. At the base of the book is a very simple, yet frequently overlooked premise: notably, that as we change and grow throughout our lives, our psychological development is punctuated not only by meaningful emotional relationships with people, but, also, by close affective ties with a number of significant physical environments, beginning in childhood. She explores how the self-image is reflected in our homes; power struggles in making a home together with a partner; territory, control and privacy at home; self-image and location; disruptions in the bonding with the home; and beyond the "house ego" to the call of the soul. As our culture becomes swept up in home improvement to the extent of having a TV network dedicated to it, this book is essential for understanding why the surroundings that we call home make us feel the way we do.With this information we can embark on home improvement that truly makes room for our soul.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Have you every just fallen in love with a house, knowing that you were meant to live there? Have you ever had an apartment that seemed to suck the energy right from your body after a long hard day at work? Are there certain places in your home that are "yours" or "your spouse's"?
Unconsciously we are all seeking to become our genuine selves. In this quest, we tend to surround ourselves with ideals, examples of what we feel matches our deepest parts of ourselves. These examples come primarily from past experience. For instance, we may have had a special place in a childhood home where we felt safe, loved, and free. Alternately, we may subconsciously associate a large dining room with sadness after the loss of a parent or unvoiced hostility in a dysfunctional family setting.
House As A Mirror of Self brought to light many of the things that I had forgotten in my childhood and many of the situations that I hadn't really thought about. It is truly interesting what you gravitate towards because of your previous experiences and how those decisions get combined and complicated with that of your spouse. I even figured out why I was feeling that there was something not quite right about my home office.
Unconsciously we are all seeking to become our genuine selves. In this quest, we tend to surround ourselves with ideals, examples of what we feel matches our deepest parts of ourselves. These examples come primarily from past experience. For instance, we may have had a special place in a childhood home where we felt safe, loved, and free. Alternately, we may subconsciously associate a large dining room with sadness after the loss of a parent or unvoiced hostility in a dysfunctional family setting.
House As A Mirror of Self brought to light many of the things that I had forgotten in my childhood and many of the situations that I hadn't really thought about. It is truly interesting what you gravitate towards because of your previous experiences and how those decisions get combined and complicated with that of your spouse. I even figured out why I was feeling that there was something not quite right about my home office.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
14 reviews
74 of 74 people found the following review helpful
Determine what you REALLY want and need from your home
25 Feb 2000
Format:Paperback
I wish my husband and I had read this book before we began designing our new home instead of after the plans were done. I would have understood why the whole process was making me feel angry and negated, he would have understood why he was not more excited about the whole design process. We now understand why we haven't felt the nesting instinct in our present home and what unfufilled yearnings we brought to every place we have lived in alone and together. This book should be required reading for architects and interior designers and builders. It would change the questions they asked their clients and move all toward a more fulfilling experience. Instead of asking how many rooms do you need and how big should they be, a designer could help clients explore what they found nurturing in former homes and what emotional needs could be met in the design of their new spaces. Very Jungian, but easy to use with worksheets for exploring ideas on your own. The book brought tears to our eyes and answers to our unasked questions. I'm almost ready to dump the current plans and start all over again with new excitment and optomism.
22 of 23 people found the following review helpful
Enlightening
12 Nov 2002
Format:Paperback
I found this book when I was undergoing my own deep personal transformation ten years ago. It helped me understand my own relationship to the homes I had created for clients and my self. As an interior designer and a contractor it is important to understand the calling of the client's psyche and meet those needs. There is so much focus now on the spiritual aspects of one's home, and feng shui does offer up its own insights, but using this book as a primer for understanding what is calling to you will lead you to a different more integrated understanding. A carpenter builds a house, the family makes it a home. Clare gives the reader a path to understanding this complex yet simple process. The book is easy to read and offers many good exercises to dialog with the inner self. I highly recommend it to designers and psychologist alike.
23 of 28 people found the following review helpful
Disappointing
20 May 2004
Format:Paperback
This reads more like a textbook for an interior design course. It has little to do with the psychology of your own choice of home/setting. Like another reviewer said, the idea seemed fascinating, but the book disappoints right away, if not for the setup alone; the author overuses the same phrases and form to setup her next example. It is as though this were her thesis for design school. It could also pass for a really good new age book, that's how problem-centered it is. If you have watched "Designing for the Sexes" on HGTV, you have read this book. This book is only interesting and appropriate for interior designers, not for anyone seeking insight into our needs and choices when it comes to home.
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