Honoring the Self: The Pyschology of Confidence and Respect
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Product Description
Product Description
"Tell me how a person judges his or her self-esteem," says pioneering psychologist Nathaniel Branden, "and I will tell you how that person operates at work, in love, in sex, in parenting, in every important aspect of existence--and how high he or she is likely to rise. The reputation you have with yourself--your self-esteem--is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life."
How to grow in self-confidence and self-respect.
How to nurture self-esteem in children.
How to break free of guilt and fear of others' disapproval.
How to honor the self--the ethics of rational self-interest.
How to grow in self-confidence and self-respect.
How to nurture self-esteem in children.
How to break free of guilt and fear of others' disapproval.
How to honor the self--the ethics of rational self-interest.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
"The greatest evil that can befall man is that he should come to think ill of himself," wrote Goethe. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
"The greatest evil that can befall man is that he should come to think ill of himself," wrote Goethe. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I found this book enormously helpful. It really opened my eyes to habits of thinking of which I was completely unaware. This is not a self help book, in the cook book style, but an informed explanation of what self-esteem actually is and what kinds of thoughts and behaviours can build or undermine it. Not only will this book make you think, it will make you think differently.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Mass Market Paperback
What makes Nathaniel Branden different from many of his peers is his very rational objective approach to psychology. From this philosophical basis Dr Branden has developed a fascinating insight into what self esteem actually is and how one develops it (or fails to!)
Excellent chapters on death anxiety, self sacrifice and the society appropriate to the development of self esteeem round off the best book in the genre I've read (with the exception of The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by the same author)
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Mass Market Paperback
As another review reported, this book was poorly printed and difficult to read.
I began this book with enthusiasm, impressed by the author's premise that self-esteem is dependent on a person holding values in which they really believe, and acting with courage to preserve their integrity. As I read on, however, my admiration diminished. The tone of the writing - authoritative, magisterial - seemed increasingly out of synch with the author's attitude to the world, which seemed at times frankly adolescent.
From the beginning, Branden stresses the importance of not holding unconscious values which have been handed to us wholesale by parents, schools, religious bodies, culture. It seems to me that it would therefore be useful for him to offer some guidance as to how to go about the monumental task of developing a values system from the ground up. However, the nearest that the book gets to helping the reader uncover his/her own views is to urge him to make contact with his feelings. Although feelings are useful indicators that something needs to be addressed, acting directly on feelings is usually disastrous, yet the examples Branden gives in the book, of advice he has given to clients, show little process coming between the urge and the action. For all that the book incessantly talks about the importance of rationality, the author seems oblivious to the irrationality of his own beliefs.
I would have thought that recognising that some, or most, of your values are unexamined, does not imply that you should throw out the whole system as diseased. Careful analysis is likely to show that some of those values are worthwhile to you and should be retained. However, it seems to me that Branden's words exhort the reader to rebel against any value which has been pressed on him by an outside agent. Not to examine and assess it, but to act against it as a matter of principle. To me, this comes across as distinctly teenage, no matter how clever the wording. (It's worth noting that the book was published in 1983, the era of `greed is good'.)
The author seems oblivious to the fact that humans are interdependent and have a duty of care to each other. We affect each other emotionally whether we like it or not, and failing to show proper respect and care for others, is likely to rebound on us in the long term. But something is lacking in Branden's understanding of human relationships. One client, who has a crush on another woman, is advised to 'courageously' leave his wife and capitalise on the joy he will feel with the other woman, whatever pain it might cause the wife. The lack of understanding of the broader implications of such a choice, is breathtaking.
This example spurred me into researching the author, about whom I knew nothing. Nathaniel Branden is a man who had an affair with his boss, Ayn Rand, beginning about a year into his first marriage. He then had an affair with a third woman, lying to both wife and Rand. He has been married four times, and the wife to whom this book is dedicated is the third; he later divorced her. His insistence on the importance of integrity seems decidedly at odds with his attitude to honesty and the duty of care implicit in the marriage vows.
This book is powerfully written. It makes you think. But the author does not seem to have a clear idea of what values, at the basic molecular level, actually are, and this leaves his writing empty at the heart.
I began this book with enthusiasm, impressed by the author's premise that self-esteem is dependent on a person holding values in which they really believe, and acting with courage to preserve their integrity. As I read on, however, my admiration diminished. The tone of the writing - authoritative, magisterial - seemed increasingly out of synch with the author's attitude to the world, which seemed at times frankly adolescent.
From the beginning, Branden stresses the importance of not holding unconscious values which have been handed to us wholesale by parents, schools, religious bodies, culture. It seems to me that it would therefore be useful for him to offer some guidance as to how to go about the monumental task of developing a values system from the ground up. However, the nearest that the book gets to helping the reader uncover his/her own views is to urge him to make contact with his feelings. Although feelings are useful indicators that something needs to be addressed, acting directly on feelings is usually disastrous, yet the examples Branden gives in the book, of advice he has given to clients, show little process coming between the urge and the action. For all that the book incessantly talks about the importance of rationality, the author seems oblivious to the irrationality of his own beliefs.
I would have thought that recognising that some, or most, of your values are unexamined, does not imply that you should throw out the whole system as diseased. Careful analysis is likely to show that some of those values are worthwhile to you and should be retained. However, it seems to me that Branden's words exhort the reader to rebel against any value which has been pressed on him by an outside agent. Not to examine and assess it, but to act against it as a matter of principle. To me, this comes across as distinctly teenage, no matter how clever the wording. (It's worth noting that the book was published in 1983, the era of `greed is good'.)
The author seems oblivious to the fact that humans are interdependent and have a duty of care to each other. We affect each other emotionally whether we like it or not, and failing to show proper respect and care for others, is likely to rebound on us in the long term. But something is lacking in Branden's understanding of human relationships. One client, who has a crush on another woman, is advised to 'courageously' leave his wife and capitalise on the joy he will feel with the other woman, whatever pain it might cause the wife. The lack of understanding of the broader implications of such a choice, is breathtaking.
This example spurred me into researching the author, about whom I knew nothing. Nathaniel Branden is a man who had an affair with his boss, Ayn Rand, beginning about a year into his first marriage. He then had an affair with a third woman, lying to both wife and Rand. He has been married four times, and the wife to whom this book is dedicated is the third; he later divorced her. His insistence on the importance of integrity seems decidedly at odds with his attitude to honesty and the duty of care implicit in the marriage vows.
This book is powerfully written. It makes you think. But the author does not seem to have a clear idea of what values, at the basic molecular level, actually are, and this leaves his writing empty at the heart.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Shame about the end
I really thoroughly enjoyed this book until i cane to chapter 12. Chapter 12 took us to a twilight zone of the authors mind. Read more
Published 2 days ago by Andy
An interesting read.
Although written some years ago this book contains some interesting ideas regarding self-esteem issues. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Syrene
Like jogging through treacle!
Sorry to be a party pooper and all that but I found this one really tough. On a practical point it is typeset too close together making reading tiring. Read more
Published on 3 May 2001
It will change your life!
Two sections are absolutely incredible in this book-- that of "Rational Self-Interest" and "Death Anxiety". Dr. Read more
Published on 23 Dec 1998
Profound and inspiring insights into human psychology.
Not a typical book on self-esteem as any reader of
Nathaniel Branden's books will attest. This was the first theoretical book I read of Branden's. Read more
Nathaniel Branden's books will attest. This was the first theoretical book I read of Branden's. Read more
Published on 4 Aug 1997
A TRANSFORMATION OF THE SOUL
One of life's must read books! If you enjoyed Dr. Peck's "The Road Less Traveled" then you are ready to graduate with "Honouring the Self". Read more
Published on 9 Oct 1996
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