We all need a safe place to balance our private and work lives. Such a refuge is increasingly rare, however, due to the demands of modern life. Angela Neustatter uncovers eleven ways in which people have created a shelter for their hearts in very different circumstances. Her investigation ranges from her own family to tower-blocks in London and Manchester; from Australia and Texas to an eco-village in Wales.
A Home for the Heart: 11 Ideas to Balance Your Life
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'Has already provoked a lively reception.' --Sunday Times
'What home can offer us.' --BBC Woman's Hour
'Making [home] a source of comfort and connection.' --Observer
'Controversial.' --Grazia
'Controversial.' --Observer
'What home can offer us.' --BBC Woman's Hour
'Making [home] a source of comfort and connection.' --Observer
'Controversial.' --Grazia
'Controversial.' --Observer
About the Author
Angela Neustatter is a journalist who writes for the Guardian, Independent, Telegraph, Sunday Times, You, Psychologies and other publications. She focuses on family and psychological issues, and was editor of YoungMinds and a Guardian women s page editor. The author of eight non-fiction books, including the Hyenas in Petticoat. She lives in Islington, London.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Themes that affect us all: marriage, children, houses as homes or as investment capital? An astonishingly well-researched challenge, fluently written, to what has traditionally been defined as home, or the nuclear family box. Don't be fooled by what has been a high-profile, feminist catfight over one theme of the book. Neustatter has been honest enough to admit that ambitious career women may need to look again at how their home-life balance impacts on their children. And that is all the press has reported about the book. It is more visionary and varied than that.
One of the most interesting chapters, Not Forsaking All Others, opens with a description of how infidelity--a woman, her husband and her lesbian lover--has created a harmonious home. Far from being immoral, it may be that "relationships not harnessed to vows of lifelong monogamy may make for more sustainable relationships and less broken homes than we see at present." We see how one divorced couple managed to live under the same roof and create an extended home for children and grandchildren, for new partners.
She gives a moving description of one organic/biodynamic Camphill intentional community. Here the learning disabled live side by side with co-workers and their children, with everyone benefitting from a less lonely, more sustainable and a more productive, work-centred lifestyle.
If, as is observed, loneliness is one of the great sadnesses of our times, then A Home for the Heart is a undeniable antidote, a blueprint for stepping out of the box and creating new constellations for the challenges that face our relationships, society, and indeed the planet itself. Neustatter's writing is always solution conscious. Buy it, and enjoy its undeniable hopefulness and wise insights.
One of the most interesting chapters, Not Forsaking All Others, opens with a description of how infidelity--a woman, her husband and her lesbian lover--has created a harmonious home. Far from being immoral, it may be that "relationships not harnessed to vows of lifelong monogamy may make for more sustainable relationships and less broken homes than we see at present." We see how one divorced couple managed to live under the same roof and create an extended home for children and grandchildren, for new partners.
She gives a moving description of one organic/biodynamic Camphill intentional community. Here the learning disabled live side by side with co-workers and their children, with everyone benefitting from a less lonely, more sustainable and a more productive, work-centred lifestyle.
If, as is observed, loneliness is one of the great sadnesses of our times, then A Home for the Heart is a undeniable antidote, a blueprint for stepping out of the box and creating new constellations for the challenges that face our relationships, society, and indeed the planet itself. Neustatter's writing is always solution conscious. Buy it, and enjoy its undeniable hopefulness and wise insights.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By chazza
Format:Paperback
The book is a remarkable exposé of how a happy family lives through and grows thought the trials and tribulations we all encounter; the author's husband Olly comes from a very different background and the disarmingly honest approach reveals that caring people will overcome all, including racial and class differences.
This is totally different dimension on human relations to the endemic current menu of distrust and hate - left me feeling a bit jealous.
This is totally different dimension on human relations to the endemic current menu of distrust and hate - left me feeling a bit jealous.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By SW
Format:Paperback
Am head down in this book. Neustatter writes beautifully and vividly, and the text flows in a way that keeps one turning and turning the pages. I am loving the way it develops from one aspect of her subject to the next. It is animated and warm, with a great variety of thought, interview, research and observation. And that she puts herself, her history and her family at the centre of her narrative gives it a beguiling frankness.
Neustatter, a well-known feminist, implicitly considers here how feminism must morph and continue to mature, if women are not to fall into a whole new set of traps. Her enquiring, rounded approach to her subject reflects the way that today's women are striving to develop the confidence to explore ways of living that feel fundamentally right to them. We don't want to be set up simply as competitors with men. Of course earning money so our children can eat, as well as personal success in the workplace, are important to us, but there are other equally urgent if more subtle aspects of our lives that we want to get a handle on. Neustatter articulates some of these aspects, implying that we need to take stock, see our lives in the round and find the tools and the autonomy to reinvent how we do things. She suggests that we may need to make uncomfortable decisions in the face of convention - including the convention that makes us believe that if we don't break through the glass ceiling we have failed. Feminism, in this book, is to do with waking up to all kinds of contemporary injustices and problems - to the ravages of urban deprivation and the housing crisis, to the insecurity of the young, to alienation and loneliness, to the continued stresses dominating many women's lives - and glimpsing the possibility of contributing new and different ways of tackling them.
Neustatter, a well-known feminist, implicitly considers here how feminism must morph and continue to mature, if women are not to fall into a whole new set of traps. Her enquiring, rounded approach to her subject reflects the way that today's women are striving to develop the confidence to explore ways of living that feel fundamentally right to them. We don't want to be set up simply as competitors with men. Of course earning money so our children can eat, as well as personal success in the workplace, are important to us, but there are other equally urgent if more subtle aspects of our lives that we want to get a handle on. Neustatter articulates some of these aspects, implying that we need to take stock, see our lives in the round and find the tools and the autonomy to reinvent how we do things. She suggests that we may need to make uncomfortable decisions in the face of convention - including the convention that makes us believe that if we don't break through the glass ceiling we have failed. Feminism, in this book, is to do with waking up to all kinds of contemporary injustices and problems - to the ravages of urban deprivation and the housing crisis, to the insecurity of the young, to alienation and loneliness, to the continued stresses dominating many women's lives - and glimpsing the possibility of contributing new and different ways of tackling them.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
A home for the heart
This book is centred on the metaphor of home - understood as a physical, social and emotional anchor - for successful and affirming personal and family life. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Simon
4.0 out of 5 stars
A challenging and uncomfortable read, but worth it!
A Home For The Heart is both warming and uncomfortable, depending on your own view of home and family. Read more
Published 6 months ago by dinah morley
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good but flawed
If you can bear with the significant lack of editing, the constant typos and the slightly folksy tone, there is much in this book to recommend it. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Bookwoman
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book could change your life, or your perceptions..
I agree with Anita Bennett. The media reported Neustatter has made a "U" turn on "Having it all." This is far from the case - it her reflections
on the home life balance with... Read more
on the home life balance with... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Jeni B
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fascinating book on the meaning of home
This fascinating book deals with the importance of home in our lives and covers an impressive range of perspectives, from people whose homes have been integral in their identities... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Meg Barker
5.0 out of 5 stars
a home for the heart
What makes a home? Home is more than house or household. It's partly physical but principally spirit: the atmosphere within the house. Read more
Published 8 months ago by christopher day
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