Holy Listening: Art of Spiritual Direction [Paperback]

Spiritual direction is rather difficult to classify. It is part art, part science, part skill. It bears relations to pastoral care and psychological therapy, but there are important differences. `Spiritual direction is not psychotherapy nor is it an inexpensive substitute, although the disciplines are compatible and frequently share raw material. Spiritual direction is not pastoral counseling, nor is it to be confused with the mutuality of deep friendships, for it is unashamedly hierarchical.'

This hierarchy is one of the stumbling blocks for many, ironically particularly for those in the clergy. One must have trust in the spiritual director. To be a spiritual director, one must inspire trust, the kind of trust that enables the directee to understand that it is for that one's good that all effort will be focused. `What a gift to bring to another, the gift of disinterested, loving attention!'

Guenther's first chapter talks about this aspect of trust and attention by likening spirtual direction to a journey. Many spiritual writers have used the metaphor of the journey in the past, so frequently perhaps that it almost becomes an inside joke among some. However, Guenther's exploration of the importance of hospitality toward the stranger on a journey sets a good foundation.

For the spiritual director and the spiritual directee, many aspects of preparation are the same. A respect for silence, an importance placed on attention, and an openness and willingness for questioning are shared aspects. For the one seeking spiritual direction, the necessity for looking beyond books such as this toward a spiritual direction `in real life' is underscored.

Making the space a safe one is also important for the spiritual director. This requires more than simple confidentiality. It requires a degree of self-control in gauging one's reactions, allowing silence, not adding simple or quick answers, and recognising one's own appearance and tendencies for response.

In the chapter entitled `Good Teachers', Guenther explores the teaching and learning aspects of spiritual direction. `So what does the spiritual director teach? In the simplest and also most profound terms, the spiritual director is simultaneously a learner and a teacher of discernment.'

Discernment requires perception and judgment. The spiritual director needs to be open and experienced. The directee needs to be similarly open, and willing to be known and reflective upon the tasks of discernment called forth by the director. Both director and directee must be willing to discover deeper truths about themselves.

Using the example of Jesus as a teacher, and looking as qualities of good teachers, Guenther relates these to the tasks of spiritual direction. Just as teachers sometimes encourage elements of fun and play in their lessons, directors and directees must not get bogged down in a false sense of seriousness that puts a pall on the journey.

Quoting from the spiritual classic, The Cloud of Unknowing, Guenther relates the problem of this approach. The Cloud says of such displays of piety, `Sometimes their eyes look like the eyes of wounded sheep near death' and goes on to counsel avoidance of the extreme and the eccentric: `Far better a modest countenance, a calm, composed bearing, and a merry candor'.

Additionally, good teachers question, instill hope, and are willing to evaluate progress. Spiritual guidance may not be graded in the same manner as school work, but if it is to have meaning, there must be a way of evaluating. Finally, good teachers are willing learners. Guenther relates her own experience to being somewhat like Annie Sullivan, the teacher of Helen Keller: young, inexperienced, with imperfect vision herself, she set off to the do the near impossible.

One particular thing spiritual directors focus upon is the teaching and learning of prayer, and Guenther draws the experience and writing of spiritual leaders in the past. She says of homework she rarely assigns, but frequently suggests. Of course, the dedicated seeker will look forward to such homework and exercises. The task of the spiritual director will then be to test the validity of the experience for the seeker.

In her final two chapters, Guenther brings in her own experience as a woman in spiritual direction, and looks to images in the bible and in life for metaphors for spiritual direction. Drawing form Meister Eckhart and the images of the Hebrew midwifes, she likens spiritual direction to being a midwife for the soul. Drawing on fairly recent spiritual exploration and writing by women in academic and theological research, she looks at some of the particular gifts brought to the task of spiritual direction by women. Women have a greater likelihood to have a natural gift for listening. Also, given that women have been `outsiders' in clerical and spiritual circles for so much of human history, that can be a gift to those who have similar feelings of being outside, alone, or otherwise different.

This is a wonderful book for anyone who would like a glimpse of what spiritual direction is all about, from the standpoint of a woman who has been personally involved on both sides of the relationship. It is also a good guide for those who are interested in pursuing the vocation of a spiritual director.

Margaret Guenther is an Episcopal priest serving a parish in New York City. She is also on the faculty of General Theological Seminary, teaching topics related to spiritual direction. She is a popular speaker, retreat leader, and recognised as an expert voice in the growing field of spiritual direction.