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Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships

Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships [Kindle Edition]

Sue Johnson
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £13.99
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Product Description


A much needed message to all couples and therapists and I recommend it to all (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT)

The best couple therapist in the world...Dr Johnson's superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn't pick a smarter, warmer, and more real guide for this journey (John Gottman, Ph.D., bestselling author of THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK)

A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book...the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century (Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of GETTING IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME)

Sue Johnson [is] the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last 30 years...An instant classic (William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of TAKE BACK YOUR MARRIAGE)

Book Description

The developer of the most successful approach to building loving relationships - Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) - shares her groundbreaking programme, which any couple can use to create a stronger, more secure bond.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely outstanding! 20 Mar 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Simply the most insightful and helpful book I have ever read on the subject of relationships. It is beautifully written, and as a man I'm not ashamed to admit that I was moved to tears on several occasions as I read through the case studies related by the author, and how she helped these couples to restore a safe emotional connection by working through her Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy programme. As I read through the Seven Transforming Conversations it became so painfully clear to me how my former partner and I had got so dreadfully caught up in the downward spiral of the 'demon dialogues' and how we kept rubbing each other's 'raw spots'. Sadly, by the time I started reading this book, my former partner and I had already ended the relationship - it had become so volatile over a 2 year period, complicated for several reasons, resulting in several break-ups. In the end we had just inflicted too much emotional hurt on each other. If only we'd been aware of this book before breaking up, I'm absolutely convinced it would have enabled us to understand how we had become so disconnected, to heal our emotional wounds and ultimately save our relationship. But at least, having now read the book, I have learned some incredibly powerful lessons, and am so much more switched on about how to connect safely with a partner. I really can't recommend this book strongly enough - I feel like I've been to Relationship University and graduated with flying colours! And of course, I'm very confident my next partner will approve of what I have learned!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening and inspiring 27 Dec 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Enlightening and inspiring. Sue Johnson spells out our life long need for connection and intimacy in a way that rings true and is reassuring. The book is rich in examples and backed by the latest research in brain science and positive psychology.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Really good thought provoking 3 April 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
When reading book can really see / feel how connections between us get lost - Really relevant - could highlight half the book
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good practical guide to relationship improvement 16 Jun 2012
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Easy to follow and practical self help book by distinguished clinician clearly spelling out how modern developments in attachment theory can be put into practice by distressed couples.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent help for couples in distress 20 April 2011
By Mimi
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As a couple counsellor, I often recommend this book to my clients as part of the 'homeworks' while in therapy and the feedback from my couples is that it's a huge support in helping them change the way they talk to each other and deal with emotional distress. It's a wonderful book written by a highly respected psychologist, academic and researcher for the general public. It will really help improve your relationship with your partner and loved ones.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful 21 Aug 2011
By mamamm
It does what it says on the tin! Well, we've not gone through the whole book yet but so far it's been really good and helpful and things have changed for the better! Definitely recommend!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Dr Sue Johnson is part of a movement in self-help books that are based on sound science and evidence. You could spend ages trawling through the plethora of self-help or start with a scientifically verified approach. Dr Johnson gives you that.

Dr Johnson starts with the science of love and intimacy, referring to evidence that people who are in loving relationships have lower stress hormones and more resilient immune responses and are less at risk of high blood pressure, heart attacks and strokes. She writes, " Contact with a loving partner literally acts as a buffer against shock, stress and pain. The people we love...are the hidden regulators of our bodily processes and our emotional lives" (pg 25). Lovingly secure relationships are vital to our health. At the heart of our well-being is an adult attachment need for loving connections akin to a child's attachment need. Our attachment need is fundamental to our psycho-physiological nature; we are social creatures.

Dr Johnson focuses on first helping you to evaluate and become aware of the dances or patterns that maintain hurt between couples. She then supports your becoming curious and compassionate about your "raw spots" or "emotionally vulnerable" parts. Our vulnerable raw spots are the flashpoints that trigger irrational rows and deadening distance in our relationships. Getting to know our own and our partner's raw spots is the starting point for building a strong relationship. In awareness and compassion for our own and our partner's vulnerability, lies the building blocks of our strength.

Dr Johnson leads you through various chapters on building love and closeness in various facets of your relationships, both emotional and sexual.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cuts to the real issue. 31 Oct 2011
This book has provided me with the words and structure to explain to my clients the essence of relationships. As a full time relationship coach I am constantly looking for examples of good practice from around the world to keep my own learning and good practice moving forward. The thoroughness of the research and the committment to helping couples realise the joy and deep connection of their relationship shine out of this book. As a self help book for couples this builds on any communication 'techniques' they have been taught. As a reference book for therapists / coaches and counsellors, who work in the area of relationships it defines some of the key principles of how good relationships become great relationships.

On a personal level I now understand my connection needs with my wife and have been able to be more loving and demonstrative since reading this book. Not only has this enhanced our day to day interactions it has improved our coaching work (we coach couples together)and has re-invigorated our lovemaking! Worth every penny!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
good book
Published 16 days ago by Mrs. S. Wardale
5.0 out of 5 stars recommended by my therapist Helen Mia Harris (also highly recommended)...
I have read a number of these books as a result of a traumatic separation and this one, recommended by my therapist Helen Mia Harris (also highly recommended) is the best I've read... Read more
Published 26 days ago by Tim Nightingale
5.0 out of 5 stars great read
Full of wisdom and real life stories that you can relate to; thoroughly recommend for anyone who wants to improve their relationships
Published 2 months ago by E m l
5.0 out of 5 stars Review of my books read....or not!..
My comments of 5 stars are for the books which I have read. The lower comments are because I have not yet read the books. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Alison Landale
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful worthwhile book
Great book for couples or individuals looking at understanding how we attach in our relationships and how our attachment style affects how we get our emotional needs met or not!
Published 3 months ago by Richard Costella
4.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening guide
Good guide and an easy read. Makes you more aware of your needs and your partners needs in a relationship.0
Published 3 months ago by Victoria Otamiri
3.0 out of 5 stars Good
Easy enough to read, but I'm sure the book could be half the size or even smaller. It's a single idea, that's been padded out well. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Paul
4.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
This is an excellent book, based on the ideas of adult attachment in relationships. It s a very accessible book if you re looking for ways of being more connected in your... Read more
Published 8 months ago by heather
5.0 out of 5 stars very informative
Lots of content and I felt attuned to writer. Food for thought and lots of tips to take forward into my relationship.
Published 9 months ago by H J Furness
5.0 out of 5 stars Hold me tight - Every couple should read it
Although a bit slow at times, with lots of cases, the message is pretty clear, and it sure helps your relationship once you come to understand what both partners want to get out of... Read more
Published 9 months ago by H. van der Sijp
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Popular Highlights

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when we feel safely connected to others we understand ourselves better and like ourselves more. &quote;
Highlighted by 14 Kindle users
Isolation and the potential loss of loving connection is coded by the human brain into a primal panic response. &quote;
Highlighted by 13 Kindle users
Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Can I count on you, depend on you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need, when I call? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you? Do you need me, rely on me? The anger, the criticism, the demands, are really cries to their lovers, calls to stir their hearts, to draw their mates back in emotionally and reestablish a sense of safe connection. &quote;
Highlighted by 11 Kindle users

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