17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A potential marriage saver, 13 Feb 2000
His Needs, her needs could potentially save your marriage! If things are going wrong the book could certainly point you in the right direction. However, the book has some shortcomings: Firstly it was written over 20 years ago, and some of the ideas and attitudes are getting a bit dated. Secondly, the author demands a lot from his clients and readers - is it realistic to expect couples to spend 15 hours a week together engaged in leisure activities, to spend no time on activites which exclude the other partner and 15 hours a week socialising with their children?
The book identifies behaviour paterns which lead to a successful mariage, but does not explain how these paterns or needs come about or can change.
A good starting point to acheive a successful marriage in ten easy steps, but only a starting point.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for a successfull marriage, 30 Nov 1999
This book has helped me to focus my efforts at things which my wife really appreciates. Husbands and wives think differently and have different needs which we sometimes don't appreciate or even see. I highly recommend this book to all couples.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Well worth reading, 20 Nov 2003
This review is from: His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (Hardcover)
This is a good book for couples to read and discuss: you may not agree with it, but it is a good discussion starter.
The marriage counsellor author claims to have found 10 basic needs people have and has sorted them into the top 5 for men and top 5 for women.
My wife and I are certainly not your average couple, if his list is really reliable.
His list of the top emotional needs is:
1. Affection
2. Sexual Fulfilment
3. Conversation
4. Recreational Companionship
5. Honesty and Openness
6. An Attractive Spouse
7. Financial Support
8. Domestic Support [= help with household duties]
9. Family Commitment [= help with child-rearing]
10. Admiration
He points out that a man's top need might be his wife's eighth need. It is important to her, but not nearly as important as it is to him. And vice versa, of course.
Reading the book has made me reflect on how well I meet my wife's needs. This can only be a good thing.
I knocked off a star, because the book is marketed in Christian bookstores, but is hardly a Christian book. But I highly recommend reading and reflecting on what he has to say.
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