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Marriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other's needs and strives to meet them. In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.
The revised anniversary edition of His Needs, Her Needs is a celebration of how the book has helped thousands of couples revitalize their marriages during the last 15 years. This best-seller identifies the causes of marital difficulties and instructs couples on how to prevent them, guiding them to build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy. With today's soaring divorce rate and prevalence of affairs, Harley's insights are needed more than ever before.
The extra materials can be found here:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4500_resource.html
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The book identifies behaviour paterns which lead to a successful mariage, but does not explain how these paterns or needs come about or can change.
A good starting point to acheive a successful marriage in ten easy steps, but only a starting point.
The marriage counsellor author claims to have found 10 basic needs people have and has sorted them into the top 5 for men and top 5 for women.
My wife and I are certainly not your average couple, if his list is really reliable.
His list of the top emotional needs is:
1. Affection
2. Sexual Fulfilment
3. Conversation
4. Recreational Companionship
5. Honesty and Openness
6. An Attractive Spouse
7. Financial Support
8. Domestic Support [= help with household duties]
9. Family Commitment [= help with child-rearing]
10. Admiration
He points out that a man's top need might be his wife's eighth need. It is important to her, but not nearly as important as it is to him. And vice versa, of course.
Reading the book has made me reflect on how well I meet my wife's needs. This can only be a good thing.
I knocked off a star, because the book is marketed in Christian bookstores, but is hardly a Christian book. But I highly recommend reading and reflecting on what he has to say.
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