Your Highness Extended Edition (The Longer, Harder Version) [DVD]

How ... why ... who ... what...?

What just happened there?

Why am I laughing?

What, in the vernacular, the (...ahem) "heavens" was that?

Your Highness is wrong on so many levels. It ought to be a disaster. For reasons I can't fathom, it isn't. It is absurd, gratuitous, vulgar, childish, stupid and utterly incongruous. And I thought it was great.

Natalie Portman playing against Danny McBride: what kind of fevered imagination comes up with that sort of an idea? What sort of miracle worker makes it actually happen? What sort of genius makes it work?

And that's just the start: There are jarring conflicts everywhere you look. Animal husbandry: You may cross a horse with a donkey and get a mule, but some hybrids just don't go: You don't play a Black Swan against Kenny Powers. You don't cross The Princess Bride with Animal House. If you do, you sure as hell don't throw in Bad Taste for good measure. You don't blow millions on Industrial Light & Magic style digital effects one moment and then fill the screen with a cheap rubber alien wizard (a dope-smoking, kiddie-fiddling alien wizard at that) that looks like it came from a joke shop the next. You can't rely on non-expectant swearing and expect to get away with it. At least, not fifty times. But all in all, it seems to work.

Danny McBride - last seen heading Eastbound and Down, more or less reprises Kenny Powers, complete with mullet and goatee (no method actor, Mr McBride, I dare say), only here he is a useless younger prince in a mediaeval kingdom in a land far, far, far away. On a different planet, indeed: there is a twin moon, and it is important to the plot (I suppose you could call it a plot).

Unlike most mediaeval kingdoms this is one where everyone intones smutty innuendos with English accents that come and go like rotating speakers. Kenny - I mean, Thadeous - is more or less The Black Adder to Fabious' Prince Harry. Fabious (James Franco, swashing his buckles for all he is worth and for some reason channelling Steve Tyler from Aerosmith) has a whale of a time as a slightly dopey hunk. They are pitted against evil warlock Leezar (a superb Justin Theroux) a criminally under-explained villain who has bad teeth, worse hair, and who also has a whale of a time, vacillating between occult power and sexual impotence (there are knob jokes aplenty here). Theroux' delivery of his actually pretty ordinary material is spot on.

Along the way there are entirely gratuitous scenes of every dimension: sand-encrusted nude barbarian vixens in the thrall of a large fat pink sorcerer (John Fricker) in a nappy, in a Thunderdome. Much violence, and more gay innuendo. Did I mention there are lots of willie jokes? There are the occasional outrageous visual gags. There's a frisky minotaur. There is a scheduled coming together of the moons which will result in a rare event called ... - well, you'll just have to see it, because I don't want to spoil it. Totally immature, but still I just about wet myself.

Natalie Portman boxes on far more gamely than anyone has any right to expect a recently minted Oscar laureate to. I constantly found myself wondering what on earth had possessed her to sign up for this project - perhaps relaxation therapy after a long dose of Darren Aronofsky - but being eternally grateful that she had. She is a tremendous sport throughout, and my regard for her is undoubtedly enhanced.

I have complained in these pages about the reliance on rote, formula and technology in place of proper drama in modern motion pictures. No complaints on that score here: while there's absolutely no proper drama on speak of, you couldn't fault David Gordon Green and his team for showing a bit of spirit. Instead of a tightly followed plan, there's no plan at all (Do you think my methods are unsound? I don't see any method at all, sir).

But when the alternative that passes for comedy these days is Meet The Spartans and Red Riding Hood (At least, I can only assume that's intended to be a comedy) then this has to come well recommended.

Leave your maiden aunt, your kids and your critical faculties at home, come for a laugh and you'll have a blast.

Olly Buxton

All Righty!

Where to start ... Honestly I agree with a lot of the bad feedback although this is an amazing film. A lot of people are saying the film sucks because of the crude comedy and sexual banter. It is super super funny and although some people may not enjoy I don't believe that it is just a mans film. I saw this film in the cinema when it first came out and all my mates loved it ( boys & Girls).

I think if you like anything like American Pie or in general crude comedy then this is a great buy! The Blu-Ray transfer is also very good!

Hawk the Slayer. Krull. Dragonslayer. The Beastmaster. To name but a few. Fantasy films from a few decades back. All are not the greatest or the most expensive movies ever made. And none are anywhere close to being classics of their genre.

But some people have a lot of affection for them anyhow.

What the makers of your Highness tried to do was to produce a fantasy film in the same style. One that would be both a homage and a pastiche, and also a comedy. The latter arising from character interaction over the course of it.

A slightly irreverent opening narration sets the tone. Introducing us to Prince Thadeous. A foul mouthed lady loving weed smoking man, he is a long way from being a noble prince and a great warrior.

Unlike his brother Fabious. Who has just returned from his latest successful quest with the woman of his dreams. Whom he has rescued from an evil sorcerer.

But when the sorcerer turns out not to have been defeated, Fabious must embark on a new quest. To save his love. And the world.

And he must take his brother along.

Treachery and danger await. With only the aid of a mysterious lady warrior, can the brothers save the day?

This dvd is the EXTENDED edition. The LONGER, HARDER version.

How did you react to that fact?

Let's try the:

YOUR HIGHNESS HUMOUR TEST:

1; Bwah hah hah hah haha hah haha hah! [etc]

2; Ho ho.

3: groan.

4: [sound of tumbleweed blowing across prairie]

[The differences between this and the cinema version are minimal changes to various scenes that make no great difference. There's an article about it on IMDB. Should you care].

If you answered 1, then you will love this film.

If you answered 2, then you may enjoy it.

3 or 4? Steer clear.

Because this movie has two approaches to comedy. The first, which works fine, is that whilst all the characters are noble and speak and act as if they are very much in the style of characters in this kind of film, Thadeous isn't. And spends a lot of time commenting on the absurdity of situations. Usually with foul language. This works very well in the opening few minutes [and the superb title sequence] but it's not going to guarantee laughs a second.

The other approach is to throw in all the usual kind of humour you might expect in a gross out comedy. References to all sorts of bodily functions and things you would do with bodies. And a lot of foul language.

Natalie Portman is very good at being a tough lady warrior. But she doesn't quite get a grip on the comedy.

You will also find two scenes of attempted rape being played for comedy. Which is not an approach that may go down well with some.

The only cast member who really gets the tone right is Eramus Hardiker as put upon manservant Courtney, who can be both funny and serve the needs of the plot.

And yet:

As a fantasy movie, this isn't bad.

Not fantasy in the Lord of the Rings class. More those movies mentioned in the opening paragraph of this review. It has a fairly solid story and some very good production values.

So for fantasy fans who aren't too demanding, it's worth a look.

For those who want to see a brief scene of Natalie Portman in skimpy underwear, you will find what you want here.

For those undemanding fans of gross comedies, it may be worth a look.

But for everyone else....maybe not.

Should you wish to know more about the dvd then:

The languages and subtitles are as follows:

Languages: English.

Subtitles: English.

The disc begins with a couple of trailers but you can skip past them by pressing the next button on the dvd remote.

There's a commentary from two of the cast and two of the crew. Which you can listen to with or without a short visual introduction from them.

A twenty eight minute long making of documentary. Which is quite good.

A four minute long reel of outtakes. Some of which actually are genuinely funny.

Line-O-rama. A five minute long feature with cast members improvising various alternate bits of dialogue. Usually involving foul language.

Perverted visions. Four minutes of two cast members doing improvised dialogue for a scene involving a puppet.

A vision of Leezar: Two minutes of the actor who plays the villain laughing manically and then making other noises.

[These three extras only worth watching if you answered 1 to the humour test.]