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Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Pantley) Paperback – 1 Jan 2000

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Product details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Contemporary (1 Jan. 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0809297701
  • ISBN-13: 978-0809297702
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.4 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 396,075 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Parenting educator Elizabeth Pantley is president of Better Beginnings, Inc., a family resource and education company. Elizabeth frequently speaks to parents at schools, hospitals, and parent groups around the world. She is a regular radio show guest and frequently quoted as a parenting expert in newspapers and magazines world-wide and on hundreds of parent-directed Web sites. She publishes a newsletter which is distributed in schools, doctor's offices and parent programs everywhere.

Elizabeth is the author of several popular parenting books, including the best-selling No-Cry Solution series:
The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution
The No-Cry Discipline Solution
The No-Cry Sleep Solution
The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers
The No-Cry Potty Training Solution
The No-Cry Nap Solution
Perfect Parenting

Elizabeth and her husband, Robert are the parents of four children. For more information, excerpts, parenting articles, and contests visit the author's website at http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Product Description

From the Back Cover

Even the best-informed parents will be shocked to discover that they have unintentionally been sending their kids the wrong messages. In this book, these hidden messages are revealed through intriguing stories that will make you laugh, cry, and reflect upon your own family life. Hidden Messages will teach you about yourself and encourage you to look at what's really going on between you and your children. Through specific action plans, it will help you uncover the best ways to raise your children to be happy, successful people.

About the Author

Elizabeth Pantley is a parent, educator, and author of the bestselling No-Cry parenting books, including The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The No-Cry Potty Training Solution.


Inside This Book

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Customer Reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

80 of 80 people found the following review helpful By Jill Curtis on 5 Feb. 2001
Format: Paperback
Have you have just come from refereeing one more fight between the children? Are you lying down on your bed from exhaustion after dashing from school, to the shops, to the laundry, to the gym, and picked up the dry-cleaning on the way back? Oh, and did you pick up the wet towels in the bathroom on the way back? What about the gym shoes left on the stairs?
If this is what your routine is like, then Elizabeth Pantley has written Hidden Messages just for you. She divides the book into different topics, or 'flash points', those factors which arise in many households such as The New Baby, Superwoman, Manners, and more. How do we pass on messages about responsibility, independence, thoughtfulness and kindness without nagging? She describes scenes which may be horribly familiar to you, then decodes the hidden message we have given our children, and suggests alternatives.
In this way she explains what our words and actions are really telling our children. Some of these examples may make you blush, and others make you gasp in horror as you recall using those very words this morning!
Once you see what she is saying, the rest falls into place. She doesn't preach, but she gently explains how we hand over the wrong messages to the kids when we say certain things, and how much easier it is for the children, and the parents, if we can truly say what we mean.
This book will make you stop and reconsider the effect your words have on your children. Buy it, you won't regret it. And, in the long term, neither will your children!
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By S. Kausar on 24 Aug. 2006
Format: Paperback
This might be the hundredth book on parenting I have read, and I was not disappointed.

The book is very concise, which is great because if like me you are working as well as being a parent...

Each story covers a theme such as battling siblings, dealing appropriately with neighbours who have different ways of raising their children, developing independence and life-skills in your children. It is easy to follow because the stories which are oh so familiar are very concise, without taking away anything from the quality of the lesson being passed on. Each story is followed by a paragraph stating the subtle message being given and then the reader is advised what to do about it. The stories cover all ages, from babies to teenagers. As well as everything else, I was impressed by the sheer range of issues and age groups covered.

As it does not take weeks to read (like some parenting books I have come across) you actually remember the lessons taught while you read the book and for some time after finishing it.

My child is too young and so far an only child, so many of the stories don't apply. But that may be an advantage-I get time to re-read it and make sure our family doesn't become one of those featured in the book!
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Lucy Green on 27 April 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Not too bad to have that book and not too good. Some stories are doesn't make any sense. but i recommended to my friend and she loved it. so its totally up to you which type of reader you are.
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1 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Olga on 2 Sept. 2009
Format: Paperback
While the book is indeed promoting loving and unconditional parenting, and must be a great inspiration and eye opener for a lot of parents, I personally found the "hidden messages" to be quite obvious. Yet again, I've read lots and know children developmental psycology quite well, so it didn't impressed me, but I do recommend it, especially if you haven't had tons of parenting books read.
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0 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A. Reader on 3 Jan. 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
good book to make you reassess the way you are with your child, but if you're that way inclined anyway do yourself a favour and don't buy the book.
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