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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys [Paperback]

Greg Behrendt , Liz Tuccillo
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (153 customer reviews)

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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys 4.2 out of 5 stars (153)
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Book Description

7 Nov 2005

A brilliantly witty and entertaining guide to interpreting men from the writers of Sex and the City. Fresh from helping Carrie and the gang with their dating dilemmas, they've given the rest of us a decoder ring to the men in our lives. But this book isn't just about eliminating the bad apples – it's also about holding onto the good ones.

• This hilarious, playful, but honest explanation of male behaviour from the writers of Sex and the City is designed to stop women wasting their time chasing after men who aren't into them, and help them to move on – and find men who really are.
• The wisdom of the book can be summed up by the following: men don’t want to tell women when they’re not interested – and women don’t want to hear it anyway.
• The book’s positive message: It happens to the most beautiful, funny, interesting and intelligent women and all it means is that it’s time to say ‘Next!’
• Upfront and forthright, the book explains why the man you're waiting for might not be worth the wait – or all your excuses. It’s not that he’s too busy, just got out of a relationship or scared of intimacy.
• It discloses such tell-tale signs of a lack of interest as 'He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You,' or ‘If He’s Not Dating You,’ 'If He Only Wants To See You When He's Drunk,' ‘If He’s Having Sex With Someone Else,’ not to mention 'If He's Married.'
• Practical advice: reveals how to interpret the ‘mystery’ signals men give off that are shouting the obvious.
• Just like Berger on SATC, helpfully (and outrageously) informing Miranda of a guy she liked that "he's just not into you," this book will show you how to eliminate the no-hopers, and give you the confidence to move onto those who recognise how gorgeous you are!

Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Element (7 Nov 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0007198213
  • ISBN-13: 978-0007198214
  • Product Dimensions: 12.8 x 19.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (153 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 155,792 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Comedian Greg Behrendt was a consultant for three consecutive seasons on Sex and the City, where he and Liz Tucillo, a writer on the programme, developed the idea of 'He's Just Not That Into You'. The book became a runaway success worldwide. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, The Tonight Show, Late Show with David Letterman and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, and their two children.

Product Description


‘My dating bible.’ Now magazine

‘The publishing sensation of the year.’ Daily Telegraph

‘A new dating book, HJNTIY, is taking Britain by storm… The book cuts to the core of men's behaviour.’ Daily Mail

‘Sometimes an idea for a new book is so blindingly obvious that we think we should have written it ourselves. The concept behind He's Just Not That Into You is simple but speaks universal truth about the excuses men come up with to fob off women.’ Daily Express

‘This book, by the relationship consultants on Sex and the City, will be something of a Godsend, as it aims to make life easier for women who want to get past the crappy get-out lines fellas use.
It's wickedly hilarious, and it's sure to turn you into a stronger, better-equipped gal!’ OK magazine.


smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No More Waiting by the Phone for Me! 4 Mar 2009
Like other reviewers, I read this book in one sitting. And I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it! While the message may appear simple - he's just not that into you - it really is amazing to read through this book and have things click in your mind. You can think back to certain situations where you may have made excuses for a person's behavior, their lack of calling when they said they would, their super busy schedules preventing time to spend with you, and you can see it for what it really was - he just wasn't that into you! What a relief.

This book has the ability to give you lots of power. Read it, absorb it and never again sit by the phone waiting for it to ring. There will be no need to wait around once you see the writing on the wall, just move on to the next guy who may be the one who's into you!

This book is well worth reading. Buy it and keep it handy for when you need a refresher course. Be kind and loan it out to your girlfriends who are going through hard times with their guys, they will thank you for it!
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33 of 36 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars He's just not into you 12 Feb 2007
This is an excellent book- a "Wake up and smell the coffee call" and one not for massaging your fragile ego with ! No excuses, as the title states.

Like "Not Tonight, Mr Right! "you are under NO illusion about what messages you are receiving, or not receiving on your dates , or in your relationships. Yes, we've all been there, and got the t-shirt....

In other words, Mr.Greg is saying : " Don't fool yourself! And don't waste your time. either....".

Once you realise this for yourself, you're going to be ready to move on, and read signals and signs, with a lot more insight and wisdom.
Useful questions and answers scenarios and yes, these are the things, you already know, but were too afraid to confront yourself with.

And while "he's just not into you", there are others out there, more deserving of you, who will be!
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112 of 125 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
A friend of mine raved about this book, so in spite of the put-down title (which I think generalizes men, and women), I picked up a copy. And yes, was disappointed. The book focuses on excuses women make to convince themselves that men are "into them" when they're "not." First, I thought the points were obvious - for example, a man who doesn't call when he says he would. According to the book, if he doesn't, he's not into you.
There could be a multitude of reasons why that aren't related to how into you he is or isn't. But that being said, the reasons may not matter. For the more appropriate question in my view is "How do you want to be treated in a relationship?" To instead ask whether or not "he's into you" is to assume that he's finding you lacking in some way. Yes, the book says you're great, pretty, etc. but if the authors really believe that, then why all the repetition of the only reason a guy isn't acting like Prince Charming is that you don't interest him enough (with the token positive comment added on after all the negativity)?
I don't think many women would want to be involved with or marry a man who treated them well only because he was "into her" and had treated other women poorly because he wasn't into them. Not me anyway - only a man who treats all women and men well is worth it, in my book.
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30 of 33 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not to be taken too seriously... 3 July 2005
By Mertlew
Yes, I agree that many women allow themselves to be ruled by their emotions and to make excuses for bad behaviour from men. However, I don't agree with the whole 'one-strike-and-your-out' approach of this book.
According to this book, if he puts a single foot wrong - he's not that into you and you should get rid. As someone who has spent far too many years with her head in romantic novels, this book encourages the whole fairy tale romance - that Prince Charming will just appear and will know and want to please your every need. It doesn't work like that. Relationships take work and effort from both sides.
Men, just as much as women do, come with life experiences and emotional 'baggage' if you like and sometimes need encouraging. If he's not confident enough to ask you out, then he's 'not that into you'. Maybe he is too shy to ask you out but does this really mean that he is also not capable of being a loving boyfriend?
Have a laugh at reading but treat with caution...
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29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent 5 Nov 2006
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book is an absolute must for any woman who has ever had problems with dating- especially in the murky first weeks to 3 months. Every scenario covered, funny, thought provoking and straight forward. Ever gone out with a man who's phone was sometimes off? Was too busy to call? Didn't want a relationship? Was married or unavailable? Only wanted you as a friend? Then this book is for you!

My favourite quote is "You already have one asshole, why would you need another?!"

Buy it for yourself, buy copies for your friends.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and brutally honest
Really good read
An honest way to look back on relationships and giggle at your past mistakes. Fun and surprisingly correct!
Published 1 month ago by yvonne
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant advice
So much of this is so true. I re-read it whenever I feel myself starting to make excuses for behaviour that just isn't good enough.
Published 2 months ago by Miss C. Selby
4.0 out of 5 stars It's nice but different cover
The book arrived pretty late that I already finish reading the PDF version. But it's a nice book, packaged nicely, but with different cover (Movie version). Read more
Published 2 months ago by YU JIAWEN
5.0 out of 5 stars He's Just Not That Into You
A fantastic book. I've got the paperback and have read it numerous times. The best self-help book ever! You won't be disappointed.
Published 3 months ago by Miss St.C
5.0 out of 5 stars So true
Funny, true, hits every nail on the head. Every girl needs Greg in their life. Couldn't put it down and actual laugh out loud
Published 3 months ago by miss jennifer a wilson
4.0 out of 5 stars Wise words
An Entertaining read, would recommend it to my single friends. Not read anything like it before! Definitely learnt some good tips!
Published 3 months ago by Hannah Kenison
5.0 out of 5 stars So into this book!
You may have already seen the film of the same name. Some of my friends saw it before me and warned it makes women basically look stupid or pathetic, needy or crazy. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Jessica Hassett
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
In the beginning I found it somehow depressing - it's hard to admit that the man you fancy may just not be into you... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Laura Odorici
5.0 out of 5 stars love it
So true just wish I could follow through with it rather than reading it every time after a break up.
Published 4 months ago by Kymboe
4.0 out of 5 stars quite good
i loved the condition it came in and thats what i really liked a lot. the delivery was spot on.
would really recommend it
Published 4 months ago by olivia kelly
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