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Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World

Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World [Kindle Edition]

Douglas Wilson

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Product Description

Product Description

The modern dating system is bankrupt. It does not train young people to form a relationship but rather to form a series of relationships, hardening themselves to all but the current one. Recreational dating encourages emotional attachments without covenantal fences and makes a joke of a father's authority. The disrespect children have for their fathers in this area is an echo of the disrespect fathers have for their own office.

Biblical courtship provides a wonderful freedom. It involves familial wisdom and godly protection. Grounded upon the involved authority of the father, courtship delights in its public connection to the lives of families. Sexual purity is a great inheritance for a marriage, and part of a father's job is to guarantee and protect that heritage.

Biblical courtship is a humble affront to the sterility of modern relationships. And as a new generation rejoices in this ancient wisdom, the current waves of broken relationships will begin to recede.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 961 KB
  • Print Length: 95 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004D4YM7G
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
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  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #531,126 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.2 out of 5 stars  43 reviews
43 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best book on this subject! 8 Feb 1999
By A Customer - Published on
This book should be read by every Christian parent, young man, and young woman. It sets forth the Biblical basis for courtship in a very readable, clear, concise manner. Wilson lays down the basic principles behind Biblical courtship--a godly young man building a relationship with the father of the godly young woman he wants to marry. If the young man is suitable to the father and the young woman, the father gives him permission to court her under the oversight of her parents with the full intention and express purpose of marrying her. Wilson does not present courtship as a magic formula for marital bliss or a legalistic ritual that automatically guarantees success. He clearly emphasizes the fact that the principles are more important than the methods, and that appropriate methods (which do not have to be uniform for every couple) will follow if the principles are taken seriously. The model Wilson sets forth is a manner of getting a wife which is actually Biblical, respectable, courteous, and honoring to parents rather than the more common (though also more recent) idea of dating. It takes into full account the Biblical teaching that a particular woman is to be under the authority of a particular man (first her father, then her husband). Gender roles are further emphasized in the fact that sons are raised up to leave home, and daughters are raised up to be given away in marriage--to depend upon, and be a helpmeet to, a godly man. Having been in a courtship for four months now, I recommend Wilson's book without reservation
28 of 30 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Biblically great, practically...I don't know. 20 May 2002
By Andy Merrick - Published on
Ok, so what in the world does my title mean? Seems contradictory, doesn't it? This book was really cool for me to read. I know a little about courtship but not a lot. My parents did not raise me in a biblical household so a lot of the principles I had never heard before. Wilson's teachings seem very biblically sound and his logic is good too. I really did enjoy the book. My only complaint is that he assumes from the start that the people involved in the courtship are kids who still go to the same church together and have easy access to each other's parents. For a dude who is in college and meeting a girl, the situation can be quite different. It is not so easy to be spending quality chill time with her parents. And what happens if her parents are not very solid Christians themselves and do not appreciate the lengths that a young man might go to to court their daughter? Those two presumptions are the only drawbacks to this book and what makes Wilson's style somewhat impractical for some.
But I will tell you something...his teaching throughout the book is really great for the soul to read. My purpose in reading the book (and probably Wilson's in writing it) was to better understand God's design for dating/courtship and marriage. I feel that I (and he) achieved that. It is a great book that will definitely cause you to think. Any book that can stir me to consider the Lord and ask Him for more direction in my life is a book that I consider worth reading. Even though I may not be able to use everything in his book verbatim, he says that his book is not intended for that.
Knowing what I know now about this book, I would buy it again. Even if I wasn't interested in knowing more about the subject matter, his teaching leads to a better understanding of Scripture. I'm glad I took the time to read it. Peace to you...andy
29 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A breath of fresh air! 2 Jan 1999
By "12reader12" - Published on
The casualites of recreational dating have mounted in our generation; and this book reminds fathers: It is OUR responsibility to lovingly protect our daughters. Their purity rests with us. I urge every Dad who loves their little pumpkin the way I love mine to get this book...Learn the Biblical mandate well, when she is young. She'll love you, and thank you for it during the teenage years;and especially in marriage.Peter Hyatt, Copiague, New York
25 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Biblical principles, practical applications 30 Aug 2002
By Joshua M. Clark - Published on
This book is my favorite on the topic of courtship. At first I was displeased with Mr. Wilson's writing style, but as I progressed through the book, the clarity and eloquence of his writing really hit home. The sheer beauty of this book is quite a wonderful tribute to the glories of courtship, and is worth reading merely for the delightful phraseology.

But the greatest thing about this book is, of course, the content. Doug understands that the whole dating vs. courtship debate has largely been kept to the mere level of terms, instead of hashing out the underlying principles. So in Her Hand in Marriage, he first outlines the Bible's teaching on a proper path to marriage, and then he tentatively labels this system Biblical courtship. He recognizes that what is traditionally labeled dating has many success stories, and likewise, what is traditionally labeled courtship has many horror stories. This is why he wants to keep the debate to the fundamentals, and then wisdom can be shown no matter what you call the system.

One of the key Biblical principles Doug lays out in his book is the authority of the father in the courtship process. The father, he shows through a thorough study of Old Testament passages, is responsible to protect his daughter by acting as a sieve of sorts that young men must go through before courting his daughter. Fools who might otherwise pressure his daughter to go out with them are stopped cold before they even get a chance to mess around with her. And once a proper fellow is allowed to court his daughter, the father can offer a sense of accountability so that couples in their passion might not do something they would later regret.

After a chapter on this point, Doug then covers the different roles of boys and girls in courtship, with the boys initiating everything and the girls responding to the initiation. He shows that a great thing about courtship is that young couples are more accountable to keep their eyes on the intended culmination of marriage, rather than merely enjoying the journey. And he covers miscellaneous details such as what criteria to use when selecting a spouse, what the governmental implications of marriage are, and how weddings should be conducted.

While the book may not be directly practical to moderners, the principles discussed make the book a worthwhile purchase. Once you get the fundamental ideas ingrained within you, God will give you wisdom to apply them to whatever situation you are in.
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful but not the final word 21 Jun 2004
By Douglas VanderMeulen - Published on
Doug Wilson likes to take his readers where they have never gone before. He greatest gift to today's church might very well be his willingness to ask the questions that most need to be asked. While some may disagree with his positions, there is always food for thought. In the case of this book, there is a high need for some fresh thinking. All too often today's church-going parents allow there children to pick their dates and future mates in grossly unbiblical ways. The modern American dating system is about a far away from building Biblical relationships as can be. Wilson offers an alternative that may or may not be the final answer but is certainly miles ahead of what is the common practice. But this book ought to be read by parents of the very young. There is some planning and building to do and its best not to start in a vaccum. What is best about the book is the emphasis it puts on partents - fathers - to be involved in the lives of their kids as the covenantal head God has called him to be. This is not an easy fix-it book or one that will give you ten easy steps to date like a pagan while remaining a Christian. You may have to change much of what you are doing. Worth the reading and thinking.
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