‘When I was fourteen, I got drunk for the first time. Champagne drunk. My mouth was stretched in a smile so wide, that my jaw hurt. The sky had the colours of a bruise' When Nick Johnstone got drunk for the first time at the age of fourteen he discovered a cure for the depression and anxiety that had been humming in his head since childhood. Over the next ten years he drank to overcome shyness, to make the world bearable, to get through the days and to get through the nights. He also began to cut himself and he began to lie. Intelligent, sensitive, from a loving family, neither he nor his countless doctors, psychiatrists, counsellors and therapists could understand where his disorders came from. Then, when he was twenty-four he was admitted into hospital. Stripped of his ‘cure', Nick Johnstone painfully began the process of recovery. Although love proves to be the strongest ‘cure' of all, this is a story with no tidy or happy endings . Honest and gripping, by turns stark and lyrical, A HEAD FULL OF BLUE powerfully evokes the often unfathomable psychology and behaviour that drives addiction, examining self-harm as a coping mechanism rather than a taboo. It is an unusual, moving and thought-provoking memoir.
A Head Full of Blue
and over 1.5 million other books are available for Amazon Kindle . Learn more
| ||||||||||||||||||
Did you know you can trade in your old books for an Amazon.co.uk Gift Card to spend on the things you want? Visit the Books Trade-In Store for more details. Special Offer until June 30, 2013: Receive an additional £5 promotional Gift Certificate, when you trade-in at least £10 worth of books. Learn more. |
Book Description
Frequently Bought Together
Product details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
More About the Author
Discover books, learn about writers, and more.
Product Description
Amazon Review
A Head Full of Blue is the journalist Nick Johnstone's intimate, often disquietingly honest, account of his battle with alcoholism. Johnstone got drunk for the first time at the age of 14. Alcohol seemed to stall the depression that had plagued him since childhood and by his late teens he was already drinking to excess. At university he was drinking "a can of beer before classes" and more often than not would "be sipping a beer at 8.45 in the morning". The booze was augmented by anti-depressants, bouts of self-mutilation and an emotionally destructive sexual relationship with Laura, a thrill-seeking hippie chick in his hall. By the time he left university he was a fully-fledged alcoholic. Johnstone unflinchingly details the binges, the periods of abstinence, the vomiting blood, the therapy sessions, the AA meetings, the constant gnawing need for alcohol and his long and very slow (and ongoing) recovery. He's particularly good at animating the shabby subterfuge of the alcoholic; describing how he took to hiding empty wine bottles in his wardrobe to avoid detection and how he tried to mask his drinking at work. Though Johnstone began writing this some five years after his last drink, it's clearly based on many of his own contemporary journal entries. This gives the book a quite unusual freshness and immediacy. However, much of the prose--lines such as "My thoughts were ice cubes playing a cello" for example--veers far too closely toward adolescent poetry to be entirely convincing. Although Johnstone may stray into "Diary of a Manic Street Preacher Fan" territory it is hard not to be moved by his frank, heartfelt memoir.--Travis Elborough
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
"It is hard not to be impressed or moved by Johnstone's candour;" -- Sunday Times 16th February
'An engaging and disturbing memoir of his life as an alcoholic, in all its lurid detail' -- Daily Mail
'No-holds barred personal history memoir in which he strips away the horror and exposes the wounds of his illness with a stark and brutal honesty' -- Uncut Magazine
'One of the most courageous and moving books published in a very long time' -- Uncut
Exceptional, immensely touching ... compulsory reading' -- The Face
'An engaging and disturbing memoir of his life as an alcoholic, in all its lurid detail' -- Daily Mail
'No-holds barred personal history memoir in which he strips away the horror and exposes the wounds of his illness with a stark and brutal honesty' -- Uncut Magazine
'One of the most courageous and moving books published in a very long time' -- Uncut
Exceptional, immensely touching ... compulsory reading' -- The Face
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
The author provides a deeply moving account of his battles with alcoholism and depression throughout his early life. For anyone who has suffered from either or both of these it is a chilling read, and I would recommend it to anyone trying to understand just how real these problems are.
To answer the question posed by an earlier reviewer - what has the author suffered from that everyone else hasn't? - chronic alcoholism and severe clinical depression is the simple answer.
Far from being a 'teen' read this is a gripping, thought provoking novel for intelligent readers of all ages.
To answer the question posed by an earlier reviewer - what has the author suffered from that everyone else hasn't? - chronic alcoholism and severe clinical depression is the simple answer.
Far from being a 'teen' read this is a gripping, thought provoking novel for intelligent readers of all ages.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
whats written between the covers of this book, is more beautiful and inspring than anything that i have ever read, it follows no set path or direction, chapters come in the guise of several lines, or several hundred lines. None of this matters as every line pieces together snapshots of memories that seem to be written down more for nicks own peace of mind and progression, than just to have a book to show at the end of the day.
It feels like the book happened by accident, as though this memoir was meant to be read after nick was dead and buried, revealing the true story to all those that never quite understood what was wrong.
I have read it twice, and already certain lines have stuck, certain paragraphs cant be forgotten.
nicks wildly desriptive tones, create surreal images of what he feels and remembers, but they never leave us behind, only make us pause to admire the way his eyes see the world.
The book moves swiftly, through many phases of nicks life, some very familiar to most of us, some so dark that we give thanks that we never got that far down the road.
It feels like the book happened by accident, as though this memoir was meant to be read after nick was dead and buried, revealing the true story to all those that never quite understood what was wrong.
I have read it twice, and already certain lines have stuck, certain paragraphs cant be forgotten.
nicks wildly desriptive tones, create surreal images of what he feels and remembers, but they never leave us behind, only make us pause to admire the way his eyes see the world.
The book moves swiftly, through many phases of nicks life, some very familiar to most of us, some so dark that we give thanks that we never got that far down the road.
It is something that i wish i had never read, so that the next time i am going to buy a book, i can see it, and buy it all over again, sit down and not come back until its finished.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Last night, I read this book in one sitting. I was spellbound. It is gut-wrenchingly frank and confronts the horrors of depression and alcoholism head-on. Nick Johnstone has stared into the past and at the mirror and has unflinchingly described what is there. He is honest with himself and with others and has detailed the breif highs and desperately prolonged lows of his illness and addicition. He encounters the disinterest of medical professionals whose only answer is to bombard him with alternative addictive and head-mashing compounds. He also encounters therapists - some extraordinarily healing and others appalingly remiss - as well as others who have helped themselves and who reach out to him. The book unfolds at an extrodinary pace, like the events of his young life: 'Nineteen and being prescribed Antabuse'. It develops through a novel series of short, journal-like sections which carry the reading along. The thing that srikes me most forcibly about this book is the extraordinary sincerity and clarity with which he presents his almost confessional account. This perhaps reflects the various admissions and therapies that are required to combat the self destructiveness of alcohol. As one who has answered 'yes' to three of the twenty questions, I recognise his descriptions of the intense draw of the stuff. I am proud of the man who wrote this book, for exercising immense strength in tackling the drink, for confronting his depression frankly, and for having the extraordinary courage to write and publish this book.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By J. Kennedy
Format:Paperback
As another reviewer said, I too have issues with some people's comments saying this book is 'narcisstic' 'self-indulgent' and that the author was 'lucky he didn't have to work his way through college' Oh I see. So you would rather suffer from self-hatred, depression and anxiety as Johnstone did rather then go to work? If you haven't experienced depression DON'T judge people who have. Depression is an illness of the mind and naturally you are going to be thinking about yourself because you are suffering! This is a beautifully written, understated and moving book which I couldn't put down, and I resent certain people's attitude to his illness by implying his misery was something he should just get over.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a recovering alcoholic who takes medication for anxiety and depression and leads a very happy life, i was keen to read about the author's experiences and recovery. Sadly i came away feeling rather cross and very worried that someone suffering from alcoholism may read it and give up all hope of any solution to their problem. He gave the impression that all antidepressants make one lethargic and spaced out, something which i strongly disagree with. He also did not stick with AA long enough to reap the benefits of its 12 Step programme, which would have provided him with the tools to lead a happy and fulfilling life. He appears to survive on willpower alone, which is not necessary, and a sad way to live.The whole book was negative and gives the wrong message to any suffering alcoholic or person suffering from debilitating depression. It was well written and very honest but I personally would not recomend it as it I found it a very depressing read.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
'A Head Full Of Blue' is a candid exploration of Nick Johnstone's experience of depression, destructive realationships and alcoholism.
At times the book makes you feel uncomfortable, in the same way you would by reading someone else's diary. What I love is that it's never self indulgent. Johnstone explores his self- destructive behaviour without making excuses or turning to God at the end. He's even honest about the lies he told.....this is not an author trying to portray themselves in a positive light.
This is a great exploration of depression (not teenage angst and moods, as some other reviewers have said) and addiction by someone who has experienced it.
It's a quick read but it's well worth doing.
At times the book makes you feel uncomfortable, in the same way you would by reading someone else's diary. What I love is that it's never self indulgent. Johnstone explores his self- destructive behaviour without making excuses or turning to God at the end. He's even honest about the lies he told.....this is not an author trying to portray themselves in a positive light.
This is a great exploration of depression (not teenage angst and moods, as some other reviewers have said) and addiction by someone who has experienced it.
It's a quick read but it's well worth doing.
Would you like to see more reviews about this item?
›
Go to Amazon.com to see both reviews
3.5 out of 5 stars
Were these reviews helpful?
Let us know
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Same again?
There's no shortage of drug recovery memoirs on the market. Take your pick between crack, crystal meth, cocaine and - of course - alcohol. Read more
Published on 1 Feb 2008 by lifeclearout
5.0 out of 5 stars
Compulsive
A compulsive read. I started and finished in four hours! Don't read it if you expect an analysis of why the author suffered from his ills. Read more
Published on 13 Jun 2005 by "blackspaniel"
2.0 out of 5 stars
Unconvincing
Great cover!! But ultimately full of 'sound and fury' and signifying nothing. Isn't everyone's adolesence full of excess, don't we all get depressed, doesn't everyone have a job... Read more
Published on 28 Feb 2003 by "williams2156"
2.0 out of 5 stars
No Surprises
A second release of last years book in a different cover. The book deals with the authors escape in to alcohol during a time when many young people turn to drink/drugs namely... Read more
Published on 20 Jan 2003 by "howton6"
2.0 out of 5 stars
Disappointing
I was drawn to this novel by the huge amount of publicity it received being published by Bloomsbury. Read more
Published on 28 Sep 2002 by Mike Maybe
4.0 out of 5 stars
Scratching the surface of an interesting story
There is no doubt the book is a compulsive read, and a good insight into an addictive personality. For all the times he mentions throwing up all over himself and cutting himself I... Read more
Published on 3 July 2002 by Lone Ildgruben
5.0 out of 5 stars
thought provoking and inspiring
Nick's in your face style and fast paced writing will wear you out as he rushes through his addiction history that started, surprisingly, at an early age. Read more
Published on 15 Jun 2002
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant
This is one of the best books I've read about addiction. Whilst Nick suffered from alcoholism he captures the emotions of any addiction and the issues of depression. Read more
Published on 13 April 2002 by pols@clara.net
Customer Discussions
|
This product's forum
Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
|
Related forums
|
Listmania!
Look for similar items by category
Feedback
- Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
- I am the Author, and I want to comment on my book.
- I am the Publisher, and I want to comment on this book.
|
