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I Hate You Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality Mass Market Paperback – 1 Feb 1991

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Product details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Avon Books; Reprint edition (1 Feb. 1991)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0380713055
  • ISBN-13: 978-0380713059
  • Product Dimensions: 17.5 x 10.6 x 1.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 41,448 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Synopsis

People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next. They show symptoms such as: a shaky sense of identity; sudden violent outbursts; oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection; brief, turbulent love affairs; frequent periods of intense depression; eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies; an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone. For years BPD was difficult to describe, diagnose, and treat. But now, for the first time, Dr. Jerold J. Kreisman and health writer Hal Straus offer much-needed professional advice, helping victims and their families to understand and cope with this troubling, shockingly widespread affliction.

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

97 of 98 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 17 Nov. 1998
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I suffered from tremendous anger, and didn't know why until I read this book. This book helped me understand why I was always so angry and couldn't control it. I just thought I was a physco. I really was depressed and afraid and that scared me. I now know what I suffer from, and that I'm not alone. I always felt alone, like a crazy person. Now I have some hope, and can face my self and others. This book described me to the T. I recommend this book to everyone suffering inside and notsure why. I was emotionally and physically abused by my father for years, now I as an adult I can startto recover. Please read this book, if you think you could possibly have BPD. Also read this book if youthink you have a loved one with BPD.Because they need your help. It helped me, and it can help you.
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Zoe on 11 Aug. 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I'm diagnosed BPD & contrary to much of the opinion here i DID find this book , for the most part, helpful.

Yes, it is written as though aimed at family, friends, colleagues etc but that doesnt mean it isn't useful for Borderlines as well. In fact i can accept some of the harsher realities of my Personality better when read as though in the third person as it is equally as informative but much less condemning that having the author tell YOU how wonky YOU are.

The book contains many, many case studies & real life accounts of Borderlines which i always find interesting - especially when you read how these people have found ways to deal with their behaviours & thus improve their relationships.

Contrary to one opinion here i think the book does give hope for recovery - i'm not sure BPD can ever be called cured but i believe we can certainly learn the skills needed to recover & lead much more fulfilling lives. This book details the SET principle - though this is something to be used by those dealing with Borderlines, not really Borderlines themselves.

I agree the book is showing its age, it makes no mention of modern therapeutic practices such as DBT in the treatment of BPD and the pharmacotherapy section is pretty outdated now too.

However i would recommend this book solely on its section regarding coping and dealing with the Borderline, it explains why we behave how we do & how best to deal with us when we are being difficult. I imagine there is more thorough literiture on dealing with us out there but this is a good start.

To sum it up in a nutshell... outdated but still worth a read.
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26 of 27 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 30 Oct. 1998
Format: Mass Market Paperback
After I found the love of my life, I let her know how I felt. Then the rollercoaster ride started. I saw her actually trying to push me away, while at the same time acting like she didn't want me to go. I was left dazed and confused - until I read this book. BPD is a widespread problem that you won't hear about in the news, and therapists don't like to talk about. This book, however, will help you understand what is going on, and what you can do about it. The authors explain BPD with examples and terminology that anyone can understand. If you or someone you love suffers from BPD, you MUST read this book. You will learn you are not alone.
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82 of 88 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 20 Aug. 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I agree that this book is well written, but I, as someone with borderline personality disorder, believe that when this book was written, treatment for the disorder was not establised in an organized way. I think this book writes about the disorder as if there is no hope for those who have the disorder. I know that is isn't author's fault. When the book was written, it was probably true that there was nothing to help individuals with the disorder. I admit that this book gives me a good understanding about the disorder, but I am concerned that someone thinks there is no hope if you are diagnosed with the disorder. In terms of treatment and therapy, what the book is telling us is no longer true today. The borderline personality disorder is treatable today.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 19 Feb. 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I was so confused, wondering what was wrong with me. I was told I wasn't good enough. I went to therapy trying to find out what was wrong with me. My therapist finally told me my wife was manic depressive but I was okay, only angry about being verbally and emotionally abused for years. I still didn't understand. Years later, I discovered an affair, then another and another. As I reviewed our past, I discovered I lived in denial and failed to recognize my wife's manipulations and how she hid her affairs. The discovery was shocking. I was totally confused. I couldn't make any sense out of it. What was going on? This book helped me understand. I became more aware. I was a co-dependent to a BPD. The book helped me cope through the SET principle, but had mixed results with her because Borderlines question empathic words. A great introductory book to become more aware. Learning more about BPD isn't as important as learning to deal with it on a daily basis with loved ones.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Carole Carter on 5 July 2008
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This book was the first time that I had seen anyone successfully explain the symptoms of this disorder. Finally I knew exactly what the professionals were actually on about! For the time this book was written, it was ground-breaking stuff.

However, this should not be the only book you read on the topic. It gives a bleak outlook on the prognosis of those suffering from BPD. In fact it took me a while to read this because I got despondant with it all.
Follow this book with the other book the authors wrote called "Sometimes I act crazy..." (2004) to provide the much needed information on treatment and hope for recovery that simply wasn't feasible in 1989.
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