Hard Candy [+video]

Madonna was always out to have her say, of that nobody ever had any doubt, like her or not. Madonna has always done her thing. She does not, here, and look at the result. She's making the same mistake Michael Jackson made with Invincible; she doesn't trust her voice. Madonna should age with grace. She should let go of her sex symbol status. She doesn't need it anymore; her last four albums are musically brilliant, making Hard Candy even more a sour mouthful.

Where is the heart? Why did M need Timbaland, Kanye West and Justin Timberlake? Surely she knows, after her previous efforts, how to remain relevant. Timbaland, West and Timberlake haven't half the talent that William Orbit and Stuart Price have, or Mirwais Ahmadzaļ and Bloodshy & Avant. Almost every song is overproduced ad nauseam, with hardly any space to breathe not filled by guest vocalists chanting "it's Madonna" or similar generic slurs. Even the album title says nothing. What inspired Madonna to make it?

"Miles Away" and "Voices", and the majority of "Incredible" (until it suddenly turns into practically the definition of the preceding paragraph), are the only real heartbeaters on the album. "Miles Away" is wistful and emotional, a moving listen that was wisely released as a single, and the closing track "Voices" is an atmospheric sonic landscape that really should've been explored more. But then there are awful songs like "Candy Shop" and "Beat Goes On", neither of which has any heart. "4 Minutes" wears off fairly quickly, too.

Some songs are good listens but their hollow heart leaves nothing. There are even potentially great tracks that feel so over-produced and hollow (prime example, "Dance 2Night"). Even the excellent "Incredible"; a wonderful, wonderful track, but the final two minutes are near unbearable. They are so shallow, with "get your hands up", lines, guest vocalists yelling "boom" and, most of all, M actually singing "Sex with you is incredible". That's narrowing the effect of the song down a bit much.

There is very little trace of Madonna Louise Ciccone here. It's like she's lost her nerve. Hard Candy completely sells out on her audience that she has enthralled for twenty years. Bad move. But hey, M is known for experimentation. She tried something here she hadn't tried. Something she shouldn't have tried either, true, but let's hope that she'll re-invent herself yet again and stay true to her voice. And stay miles away from Timbaland.

American Life was raw and hard to get into, but underneath its rough exterior beats such a warm heart. By contrast, Hard Candy is a smooth and shiny, but almost completely hollow, shell. I ask you, which would you prefer? Even her single "Hey You", if not super-produced, feels warmer than the bulk of this album. Don't turn into a Norma Desmond, Madonna. You still have it; use it, please. I'm begging you, as a fan.

UPDATE:
Madonna's new album MDNA is an answer to all my wishes. Hard Candy is passable, check out MDNA instead.

This alblum start fanastically with Candy shop. Really exciting begining for the album! 4 minutes is funky and enjoyable. Give it to me is clever and different. Heartbeat makes you wanna dance and smile. Miles is simply beautiful. Shes not me is interesting and has some unusual elements. Incredable is simply self absored, irritating and has a desperate undertone. The beat goes on reaks of desperation and the lyrics are simply immature. The rest of the album is not worthy of review.

Somebody went ahead and bought this for me! After already hearing a preview of it before it was released and not liking it I can't say i'm too chuffed that a copy was given to me as a present (now on Ebay...). Whatever happened to buying people a pair of socks?

Anyway, I duly listened again to confirm that IMO it is indeed a): an awful Madonna album and b): an awful Rn'B album. I can hear few redeeming qualities at all.

I note that Wikipedia is reporting as of the date this was posted that worldwide sales are sitting at 2.6 mil. So it's well on course to be the lowest selling new studio release in Madge's history. Even falling short of American Life's 5 mil. Not surprising as for example in the UK the album has had little or no airtime on the biggest radio station (BBC R2). A trend doubtless repeated worldwide by music playlisters who don't want to hear her singing "See my booty get down like (Little lower baby oh) Get down ..." Cringe....

So I can hear an army of long-time Madonna fans saying "We told you so....", and you need to try harder next time Madge... This rubbish simply won't do.