Grief: Contemporary Theory and the Practice of Ministry [Paperback]

Kelley's last statement captures the heart of the book: "God, the Master Artist, is constantly at work in all our lives, bringing hope out of brokenness, in love. All will be well" (141). The artist reference tied together each chapter's summary using her ongoing image of mosaic being a metaphor for grief, i.e. each person suffers uniquely (each mosaic is different). Mosaics are works of art, and by definition "mosaics emerge from brokenness" (139). With God's loving care and tender mercy during man's most painful moments, the divine artist creates the ultimate mosaic of holy beauty from the broken pieces of pain after loss. Kelley compares a complete and beautiful mosaic, comprised of many broken parts, "As we are broken by grief, we may break through to new insights and deeper clarity about faith, life, love, and loss" (130).

With a steady stream of quotes such as the above, packed between with thorough analysis, scriptural parallels, and memorable case vignettes, the book was beautiful, helpful, inspiring, meaningful, and surely trailblazing in the world of contemporary grief counseling. Above all, Kelley includes but transcends all secular history, theories, and positions, encasing points with practical tips for ministers, scriptural wisdom, and awareness that ultimately only God has all the answers. Consider this example referring to a healthy attachment to God as one's basic means of coping: "When we are oriented to this reality, we feel tethered in an ultimate sense to a loving, cherished God who holds us in our brokenness, and our coping efforts will help us to feel that life has meaning, even in brokenness, because God's love holds it all" (114-115).

Kelley's choice to use a mosaic was the perfect metaphor for both the brokenness of loss and God's ability to gather our pieces and make people whole again--albeit forever altered. She also tapped into the universal truth that all of human experience is an ongoing narrative, and throughout history, "Stories create meaning and reflect meaning" (78). Instead of grief being an isolated event that one must endure alone, Kelley weaves together common human elements such as stories and relationships epitomize. She writes, "Perhaps our greatest discomfort is when stories just do not make sense" (79). Upon this foundation, she successfully built her thesis that modern grief must address the meaningless shock and pain of most losses, and help those who mourn to realize they must create new meanings and write new narratives. All of this is done with others, as losses affect relationships and not just individuals. Most importantly, all of this is done with God, who never abandons his children, especially when they are hurting. Because of this book, God's ministers will be well prepared to comfort those who mourn.

The paradigm of seeking meaning instead of focusing on the stages of grief seems the perfect next step in the evolution of grief counseling--especially since the author makes the natural link to God as both core attachment and secure base. This new paradigm provides for me a rich new handle on the subject of grief as I now plans to begin to minister within this framework.

In my case as a jail chaplain, the book provides not only a new paradigm but also a new metaphor that will impact my doctoral project in a creative and positive way. Addressing the matter of emotional scars with inmates becomes particularly vivid when a death occurs. Surely there is no greater example of an emotional scar than the death of a loved one. At the same time, surely no event in life makes it easier to illustrate the concept. With the endearing, beautiful, and meaningful metaphor of a mosaic, I will be enriched both in my general ministry to inmates and as I conduct research among inmates for my project. As well, I will be able to bring principles from the book to bear as I minister to inmates who have lost loved ones.

What could be clearer to anyone than the concept of broken pieces (such as a loss creates), now made into a new whole that would not have existed before (such as new meaning creates), and which is etched throughout with the scars that join the broken pieces? In truth, the mosaic metaphor now will become a principle element of my project, referred to often and which will supply a great deal of new cohesion, clarity, insight, and understanding. Those who seek to find meaning in their scars (of all types) will be helped to find it through Kelly's ingenious metaphor of a mosaic.

In response to an email query with the question, "What has been the response from the professional world to your book?" Kelly responded with the following: "The response among pastoral colleagues has been very positive. So many people seem, at least intuitively, to understand the challenge of grief in some of the ways that I try to articulate, and so they find themselves resonating with various parts of the cases or the theory. That is very gratifying."

This is a well-written summary of the field. It was a pleasure to read it.

Moreover it presented the material in such a way that the reader is able to see the practical and pastoral implications of what the author is presenting.

Coping with loss is the challenge many ministers must help their congregation with. "Grief: Contemporary Theory and the Practice of Ministry" is a collection of thoughts and ideas on the role of the minister in helping grievers find hope and find God at the time they need him the most. Thoughtful and acknowledging of modern issues facing many worshipers, "Grief" is a choice pick for any minister who wants to improve their actions when dealing with these issues.

› Go to Amazon.com to see all 5 reviews  4.4 out of 5 stars