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Great Lies to Tell Small Kids [Paperback]

Andy Riley
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

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Book Description

10 Oct 2005

This Christmas you can finally let your bunnies out of their padded hutches, because Andy Riley doesn't want them anymore. He wants your children!

From the creator of the bestselling Bunny books comes more wicked humour - GREAT LIES TO TELL SMALL KIDS. They range from merely bogus to truly cruel:

'Every ant you meet must be named'

'It takes the beaks of seven penguins to make a Penguin biscuit'

'All wind is made by wind farms'

'Wine makes mummy clever'

'Ronald McDonald is dead!'

Each hilarious cartoon tells a tall tale to bamboozle kids and entertain wicked adults everywhere.

Product details

  • Paperback: 96 pages
  • Publisher: Hodder Paperbacks (10 Oct 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0340834064
  • ISBN-13: 978-0340834060
  • Product Dimensions: 18.2 x 13.4 x 0.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 748,874 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Andy Riley is the hugely popular author and artist of a series of best-selling cartoon books. He draws a weekly strip cartoon for The Observer Magazine, and his comedy scriptwriting (in partnership with Kevin Cecil) has won two BAFTAS. They've built up extensive TV writing credits, as well as getting involved in some feature-length animations. Andy also used to be the stage dancer for The Pod, Julian Barratt's comedy techno band which was the forerunner of The Mighty Boosh. His hobbies include urban canoeing.

Product Description


It's the funniest, bunniest book I've ever read (Elton John on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES)

Brilliantly researched. The most important book of the year (Hugh Grant on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES)

What kind of sick mind finds humour in such cruelty? (The League of Gentlemen on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES)

Hilarious (Sunday Mirror on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDE)

Deeply dark, deeply funny (Glamour on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES)

Sadists of all ages will absolutely love it (Daily Telegraph on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES)

Book Description

New wicked humour from the author of the bestselling Bunny Suicide books

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
79 of 87 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Already used some of them on mine! 20 Feb 2006
Whilst there are a couple of old favourites included ("If the wind changes direction your face will stay like that"), this book contains exactly what I was looking for: great humour for parents of small children and some funny fibs to tell my kids.
Only four stars because it's not laugh out loud funny all the way through, but the best lies make it well worthwhile.
Without spoiling any of the best ones, here's one of the same ilk that's not included in the book: "When the ice cream van chimes that means he's sold out".
If you like that, you'll love this book.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars One of life's simple pleasures 26 Jan 2007
By Richard Murphy VINE VOICE
This is a lovely book.

Our children (ages 8 and 6) are at the perfect age for the sort of lies this book contains. I'd recommend this book for anyone who likes humour at the expense of the gullibility of children - and that's most people. There are some read gems here and I first came across the cartoons in this book on birthday cards.

Always a pleasure and laugh-out-loud at times - recommended.
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42 of 48 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Funny, as far as it goes 16 Dec 2005
An entertaining little cartoon book, but it has its limitations. Andy Riley has been a scriptwriter on some excellent television shows - "Trigger Happy TV", "Smack the Pony", "Black Books" - and last year he gave you "Bunny Suicides". This current offering is, in places, as non-PC as its title - irreverent little pen and ink drawings, acerbic little gags. It's funny - try convincing someone that wind is produced in wind farms - and it'll keep you entertained for maybe several minutes, but in terms of value for money, there's not a vast amount of mileage here. A Christmas stocking filler or convenient present for someone you want to remember but can't think what to get them.
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60 of 69 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A really good laugh, well worth the money! 19 Dec 2005
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, perhaps because I'm not dumb enough to think that the writer intended that you should actually tell these things to small children. I have two children (not so small now) both of whom found the jokes funny, particularly some which have a sly dig at parents (e.g. "Wine makes mummy clever")
I found the humour to be very much in the "Far Side" vein, in that it is slightly off-beat, and this may well be why my kids enjoyed it, as they also enjoy the Far Side cartoon books.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A funny read 13 Dec 2005
By A Customer
A very funny book. I particularly liked "WINE - makes mummy clever". How old do you think my son should be before I tell him the truth?
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152 of 176 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very entertaining 14 Oct 2005
By Carolyn
If you like to make fun of small children, then you will definitely enjoy this book. From the author of the excellent, darkly comic 'Bunny Suicides' books, comes this new gem. Full of such fantastic tales as "all policemen grow overnight from empty helmets" and "it is bad luck not to give an individual name to every ant you see, for the rest of your life"! This is compelling reading - you won't want to put it down after starting it. The excellent illustrations add to the fun. Recommended for all ages.
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28 of 33 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Milk Feels Pain!! 28 Dec 2005
I didn't think that anything could top the Bunny Suicides but this book certainly comes close. Full of brilliant jokes, for both adults and children alike (perhaps particularly relevant; "if you try a vegetable, you might like it"!!) I would thoroughly recommend this book if you have enjoyed Andy Riley's previous works. Great for a laugh.
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65 of 80 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Great is probably the lie 20 Feb 2006
I was expecting a good selection of statements that could (or even should be) surreally true. And, to be fair, there is the odd smattering and ocassional funny - depending on your sense of humour or that of the kids in your life - but there is a fair amount of padding, which makes me think I'm glad I didn't pay the list price.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent choice if you want a quick laugh.
I wasn't sure what to expect from this illustrated book, but I have to admit it had me chuckling away to myself. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Charles Fudgemuffin
3.0 out of 5 stars A Present
Bought as a present for my daughter and son-in-law.
Didn't find it as funny as Beer Makes Daddy Strong or Wine Makes Mummy Clever.
Published 4 months ago by Sanma
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
Promising title and then one or two good lies, But I found the rest a bit weak or plain silly.
Published 6 months ago by Brian F. Farrington
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it.
Awesome book, just as good as the second book to this, bought them both, very funny. Would recommend you to buy this if you have humour lol.
Published 7 months ago by Keeley
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny
A funny Christmas present for my teenage son. Good quality. Brilliant illustrations and laugh out loud content.
Many many thanks
Published 7 months ago by MRS C PANICZEW
5.0 out of 5 stars Andy Riley is my parenting guru
Wine does indeed make mummy clever. And kangaroos really ARE just mice that are standing very near.

Very funny book, whether you have kids or not.
Published 9 months ago by veej
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is the best secret Santa present ever
I've bought book this 3 times now for various friends with, erm, small kids.
Personal favourite lie in the book: "Drinking wine makes Mummy clever"
Published 11 months ago by Miranda.H
5.0 out of 5 stars fantastic
this book is edible. no kidding dont eat it!!! love this book, it is fantastic however i think my little son is going to grow up believing some very strange things after convincing... Read more
Published 14 months ago by shel
4.0 out of 5 stars Good
Good laugh, extremely funny plus true!!! Bonus material is one of the funniest things I have ever read!!! Highly recommended
Published 15 months ago by Brett McGuire
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny
Thank you for this book it was my sort of hummor soi found it so funny i absolutly funny and was over joyed when i found it in the store as was recomened it by a freind
Published 15 months ago by Stuart Cutler
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