I rented this film out when I was an impressionable 12 year old 'back in the day' expecting to be scared senseless "IT'S AN 18, OMG IT WILL BE WELL SCARY LOLZ!!!". I cannot remember what me and my mates exact words were after the first viewing, but unfortunatly, because we had only rented it, and only me and one other guy were watching it, the hilarity could not be spread. We didn't hear of the film again for years as at the time I didn't have any access to the internet to be able to purchase it...
5 years passed, every day I thought of Granny being available on DVD. I pondered over it, every waking minute of my life. Me and my friend Dan must have told everyone in the world how amazing this film was, but alas, we were alone in having seen it. Then (no lie) whilst traversing a flea market in my hometown of Todmorden, there it was. Like a shining beacon of pure unbridled joy. Granny. The DVD. 50 English Pence.
From that day forward, life for me and the rest of this small valley town, has never been the same again. I had better begin to review the actual movie for you now, but hopefully this long (but eloquent) teaser of a prologue, will have whetted your insatiable appetite.
So, what makes THE GRANNY perhaps the most groundbreaking, both visually and orally, motion picture of all time? Was it the moment that a male I assume was plucked from the queue line in Tescos and offered a part in what he thought was Scream 4, uttered the immortal line:
Male from Tescos: "Hey, who wants a beer?"
Girl: "You can score me one"
Male from Tescos (with wink in eye): "Get yourself one sweetcakes"
or was it the moment that the Granny threw said male from Tescos through an open window, sending him crashing to Earth from 50 feet, only for him to be alive and well at the 'funeral' at the end of the brilliance.
I cannot recommend this enough, in all honesty, all these reviews, mine included, are rubbish. Nothing, NOTHING, can do this justice. It is an experience that everyone with even a hint of a love of laughter has to see. I guarantee that once bought, you will view this at least once a year religiously, with all your friends camped around the TV, and a shedload of booze readily available.
Just the way it should be.