|
|
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
Hits The Bullseye, 18 May 2007
This book shocked me with its great advice for women. It really has a different angle and logically explains why much of what women do to get the right guy doesn't work. I bought it because I was stuck in an airport due to snow and needed something to read. It was by a comedian, so I expected it to be funny, but, even though it said it had good advice for men and women, I didn't think it would have any for women. I was very wrong.
This book works on every level. The storytelling is intriguing and hilarious. We empathize with Ian as he goes from nice to guy to frustrated guy to cool guy to outright jerk to cool guy, again. He shares with us - some times offensive with vividness - his thoughts and actions, and how those thoughts and actions humorously resulted in him screwing up everything with some woman. But he learns several things from each story, highlights them, then puts them to use in another story, getting a little further to figuring we women out along the way, until we are putty in his hand and he wakes up one day to realize that he is abusing the putty.
For guys or girls, this is a must-read. Period. For men, Ian teaches you how to flirt and why it's important, how to develop a sense of humor and confidence, what "being mysterious" to women really means, and on and on. For women, he offers advice both by putting us in his head and by giving it straight out, without holding punches. Like I said, it does get graphic in places, but that just makes the stories funnier and the book more honest. It's not as bad as most PG-13 movies these days or anything like a CSI episode, and none of it is violent.
Ian offers women advice by writing things like, "Your friends' opinions should never carry more weight than your own." I think a lot of women let their friends' opinions dictate much of what they do, even more so than their own opinion does. "Many women mistake what they wish they wanted with what they want, which screws them up a lot." How many times have you said you wanted a smart, nice guy but keep falling for dumb jerks? He goes on to talk about ways to break this habit. "Women forget their audience when going out to meet men. Much of what they do and wear is to stay in the favor of other women, not for men." He tells about how he's often heard women out at a bar, upset some girl is talking to a guy they want to talk to, say things like, "I can't believe he's talking to her. I mean, look at those shoes." "No guy, ever in the history of humankind, has ever said, 'Wow, look at her. She's beautiful. She has a great rack, sweet smile, she's pretty, seems conversational and laughs a lot. Too bad about those shoes. Shall we head some place else, guys?" "Remember your audience is men, not women," Ian advises. He says the best thing a woman could wear to meet a good guy to date is tight jeans, a fitting top, and a smile. After reading that I realized that almost all my married friends and I met our husbands while we were looking what we thought was our worse, like tight jeans and a t-shirt! He has all sorts of good advice like this.
I can't say enough good things about this book. It has it all. Great advice, funny stories, and is a quick, easy read. No psychological mumbo-jumbo to sift thru.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
 
|
|
|
|
|
|
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
Be Careful What You Wish For, 9 May 2007
Since the beginning of time women have wanted to know what goes on in men's minds. Well Ian Coburn gives it to us. Boy does he give it to us. "I wanted to take her top off and go to town on her [...] with my tongue." Yikes! No doubt some women will be offended by these types of graphic descriptions that occur in several places throughout the book, but I found it refreshingly honest and, in the spirit of honesty, somewhat arousing. I wanted to know and now I do. Having been a waitress and bartender throughout and right after college, I especially found his chapter on the hospitality industry and dating to be right on. We don't love you guys just because we bring you beer! Kudos to Ian for having the guts to tell it like it is, not just with the descriptive desires of his mind but also with very personal things, like graduating college still a virgin. I don't think many guys would admit to that. Mostly, Ian is honest with his hilarious, always disastrous escapades with women. It does indeed seem like God is a woman and she is against him. I laughed out loud throughout the entire book as I kept thinking "Oh no, please don't...don't...don't...oh, you idiot!" A remarkable thing happens to Ian, though. His disasters teach him things about women; which he succinctly reviews after each chapter. In a few years he goes from dating dud to dating stud. Actually, he becomes a complete jerk, getting laid at will and even hooking up with twins. Later he realizes it and corrects himself, finding that all important balance he recommends. The whole story of his growth is quite intriguing and as a woman I could see our role in creating this beast, with some of the games and frustrations we play on men.
There is lots of great insight in this book for both men and women. Ian talks about why men like younger women - not because of their younger looks but because they are more lively and less skeptical than older women, many of whom have wasted years trying to force one boyfriend be who they want him to be instead of just accepting that he isn't that guy and moving on to find the right one; he tells younger women to avoid that and older women to be more lively and less skeptical, so that they will be approachable to guys. That women are not good communicators (that I felt was not true until I read his explanation - women are in touch with their emotions and know what's bothering them, but they don't communicate it well, oftentimes just yelling, "If you don't know what's bothering me, I'm not going to tell you!" three weeks after it bothers us. Men communicate well, they just don't know what their feelings are a lot or what is bothering them. That actually is very true.) 'It's a woman's perrogative to change her mind' really means women don't want to be accountable for a decision in the first place. It goes on and on, literally full of advice, all woven into these hilarious stories. It is a must-read, hands down. Just be ready for some graphic details. I look forward to reading Ian's advice for women on Lifetime's website starting in June.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
Couldn't Put It Down, 28 April 2007
Every city has dozens of local crappy newspapers no one ever heard of. Yesterday when the Days Inn I was staying at ran out of papers I found myself on a Chicago street picking up a handful of these bad papers. (I don't think I'll stay at a Days Inn again. No papers, no room service, and my Internet in the room doesn't work.) I found ones with such clever titles as The Buzz and WASSUP! They had such intelligent articles where they interview animals and other dumb ideas. The column Lunch Is Not A Date caught my eye, though, by comedian Ian Coburn. It actually surprised me by being funny and very well written and having very good dating advice. Mr. Coburn apparently had a book out so I went to the bookstore across the street to see if I could get a copy. They had several and I picked one up. My plan was to read a chapter or two before bed then the rest on the plane tomorrow. 3 1/2 hours later I finished the book and went to sleep. I could not put it down. You can't help but keep reading as you wonder what Mr. Coburn is going to do next? What big comedian or celebrity is he going to meet next? What funny stupid thing is going to happen with the next women he's after?
This book is hard to review because it works on every level. It's got great dating screw up stories from Mr. Coburn's late twenties all the way back to his highschool and college days that make you laugh aloud. It works as actual literature with Mr. Coburn being a very intriguing character with lots of conflict, character arc, and plot. He does a great job of putting you in his footsteps while he tells you his thoughts and actions and reactions to women. You also learn alot about the life of a traveling comedian. Sometimes you feel very empathetic and you relate to every situation except for the ones you haven't had the luck of being in like a threesome with twins, who are blond young hotties at that. Then there's all the dating advice and even some sex advice, all of which is fresh, original and insightful. The book is an easy read with an edgy style. It just works on every level. I went back to the bookstore this morning and picked up a few more copies for my nephews and nieces in college. They'll love it. I agree this book will be big or at least it should be. Be warned it does get graphic in spots but that's what keeps it so honest and makes it even funnier.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!!!, 20 Jun 2007
Very well written book!! This book gives great advice, presented in a way that cannot be found anywhere else; from a person who experienced many rejections and had the guts to share those `failures'. I felt that the last chapter did not quite tie in to why God is a Woman, however, the book in its entirety paints a pretty good picture of the `how's' and `why's' men and women sometimes can have the same dating goals and not see the indicators.
Many books will give great advise on identifying those social indicators, however, what sets this book apart is his advise on how to discern observed behavior (why guys use lines, how to see signs if a relationship is truly platonic, why women fall for jerks, indicators that a woman is really interested, etc.) and how to handle each `failed' situation without being deceitful or manipulative. For the female reader, this is a great book to get into the mindset of men. For me, this book gave me some great insight on how to interact with women without being untrue to myself.
I find it interesting that he has the hard earned opportunity to become a famous comedian but chose to become a writer. Who would have thought that a comedian has the same dating woes as the next man (or woman)? In a humorous, autobiographical way, I enjoyed his insights on developing better interpersonal and self reflective skills to overcome fear of rejection; most importantly, to accept that failures are a part of success. Want more meaningful relationships and personal fulfillment? READ THIS BOOK!!! Some things are common sense (protection, preparation,etc.), some things are not so common sense (need to read the book).
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
4 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
Too Much Empty Sex Leads to Nothing but Empty Sex, 9 Sep 2007
I discovered this book in of all places half-drunk at a bar - it was advertised on a poster over a urinal at my favorite watering hole. It claimed to be a funny book about a comedian's "hilarious escapades with women." It is. But it is much more than that. Unlike pua manuals it has complete, excellent advice both for meeting and dating women. It also has lots of good advice for women, too and is also a terrific story of growth. (THE GAME is the only other book advising men about women which is also a story; all other books are just manuals for tawdry sex.)
Ian opens the book early on with an observation, and perhaps the most important lesson in the book, and one which pua's and other authors like Neil Strauss and Mystery would have benefited greatly by experiencing, as well, but didn't. After working early in his career with a comedian who sleeps with 3 different women in one day, Ian remarks, "And he was still on the prowl! I learned that sex can become a drug for a lot of these guys...I never wanted sex to be like eating a donut or sipping a beer...Too much empty sex - sex for the sake of simply having sex - leads to nothing but empty sex; highly undesirable." He decided early on not to become victim to his own sexual desires - which has clearly happened to the pua leaders (you have to sleep with 1000 women or something to become one, which I don't even believe any of them really have.) He goes on to state that there is a difference between adoring women and adoring sex and that some men who adore sex are actually very hostile toward women. I would say this description accurately depcits popular womanizers like Neil Strauss, Mystery and Tucker Max, who all seem destined to having empty, meaningless sex for the rest of their lives.
Unlike pua's, Ian does not preach about prescribed lines or dozens of defintions; he is about theory - like how to flirt or develop a sense of humor - and gives clear examples of how he developed these skills and how all guys can. For instance, he breaks down humor simply and tells dorks directly why women don't get their jokes. "The roots of humor are relativity and logic. People have to be able to relate to the topic to find the joke funny, which is why many women don't laugh at Star Trek or Three Stooges jokes. Women don't typically watch these shows, so how can they find references to them funny?" He goes on to describe how to develop timing, delivery and all the elements of humor. He does this with flirting, breaking the ice, making a move, yada yada yada; Ian covers it all.
Unlike pua manuals, the advice is not simply a bunch of lines (Neil Strauss promises on his web site to give you all kinds of new lines and jokes if you pay him lots of money); instead, it is the tools to develop everything you need. Once you understand how to flirt, how to be funny, how to be confident, yada yada yada, you can do it anyway you want. Most importantly, Ian explains how women see things; how everything appears from their perspective. Pua books and web sites don't do that because they don't really know; they rely on their lines and techniques; they don't have clue what is actually going thru the woman's mind and how she sees things or even why their techniques actually work. A simple perusal of reviews by women here and Ian's site, where advice is posted for free in his column Lunch is not a Date and for women on Lifetime, and you'll see that women recognize, often reluctantly, that he knows what they are thinking and more importantly, feeling - "Women act on emotion, often making decisions based on how they feel, not what they think. Oftentimes, their minds later second guess the decision, resulting in them experiencing confused emotions. It must be a dizzying experience; and one which guys need to be sensitive to in order to maintain a relationship or even get a date (sometimes women avoid even meeting a guy because they are tired of experiencing the forthcoming mixed bag of second-guessing emotions - "Should I have given him my number? Will he call? Do I really want to go out with him?")."
A great read with lots of advice. No pitches for expensive pua seminars. If you're a woman, it tells you exactly what a guy thinks but be warned - it isn't pretty all the time, though; Ian becomes a real jerk before he turns over a new leaf and he shares all of that. When something starts as new, something else often comes along as the next best thing. Pua's started the movement of books and advice for guys about women and charging money for seminars. Ian's advice is in the book and supplemented on his web site with a free column; Ian is the next best thing. Hopefully, enough guys will discover him before becoming bitter sex addicts.
Also read THE GAME; the similarity and contrast between the two books is nothing short of fascinating.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
Simply The Best, 26 May 2007
This book is the best, for many reasons on many levels. For the record, it was written by a full-time comedian who is 33. The stories, which are all laugh out loud hilarious and vividly honest, are appreciated by anyone and everyone, because everyone, married or single, has dated or chased women or wondered what a guy was thinking. The advice is also good for everyone, but especially insightful to younger women and men. It should be required reading in high school and college, where these tips come in the most handy and are truly invaluable.
While other dating books, for both guys and girls, preach manipulation, deceit, cheap tricks and lines to "score", sometimes even claiming these tactics are about love, God is a Woman does not do that. Instead, it teaches you how to change your attitude and thought process, so that you can respond to anyone in any situation. It tells you how to be funny, confident, flirt, and for guys, how to be mysterious, which really means evasive. In otherwords, the author tells you the stories where he learned how to be successful. You get to see firsthand what happened to him, how it changed him, how he developed skills to flirt, etc, and then he gives you practical examples and methods to practice those skills. It's basically what every magazine article and other book falls short of doing. It is, quite simply, the best.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
4 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
Best Book For Dating, 9 May 2007
I got in States where I still am visiting. There are many books here to meet women and guys argue all the time on Amazon.com which is best, which is best, all the time, all the arguing. I notice women no like any of the books. If guy really good with women, he get at least a few to write good reviews or women just like on own. So, if no good women reviews, no good book. "The Game" some women liked, so is good. "God is Woman - Dating Disaster" every women like on Amazon.com. Many women give 5 star. I am reading now, is excellent. Very funny and best advice for men to meet women and women to meet men.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
A BIG, BIG Fan, 24 April 2007
I am a big, big fan of this book. I read it the first time a few months ago. I studied it and read it twice more. (It's an easy read, a day if you have the time.) The advice has been working well for me. I could see where I made mistakes, many the same as the author back when he was green, and followed his suggestions for fixing them. Regardless of whether you want advice or not, the stories themselves are extremely funny. I'm trying to spread the word because it seems like few people know about the book and they should. I agree w/one of the other reviews on here; it is a MUST-READ for anyone, especially guys.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
The book and column are pure gold!, 8 Sep 2007
I must admit this book and author has me eating crow. So many articles and books out there by purported experts are about a bunch of meaningless jibbersh, like getting a girl's phone number in 5 minutes of meeting her at a bar. Yeah, but how many of those women call back? Probably close to zero but the authors don't talk about that. It's bs. That's what I used to think. Then this week I read an article by Ian Coburn on ezine (man, I wish I could link to it but Amazon won't let me; just search his name or for this book and it will come up.) The article made alot of sense and told guys how to get a woman to return their call, calling out guys who try to get a number in 5 minutes as their focus. "Forget getting her digits. When you meet a woman you like, you want to do 3 things - be memorable, suggest a date, and create a reason to call." Find this article, it is gold! Then Ian's article on "The Flaw of Game" which defends the pua society turned me on to them. (I loathed the pua society before Ian's article explained to me that they weren't jerks, just guys trying to get better with women. He goes on to explain that their created terminology is what gets them looked down upon and misunderstood. He is right, the terms don't really mean what they sound like they mean.)
Basically what's happened with this book is that a comedian with alot of knowledge about women wrote a book telling the hilarious stories where he got that knowledge. It somehow became a dating guide (I agree with other college students that it is the new college dating bible) and Ian got an advice column Lunch is Not a Date. Then Lifetime hired him because he has great advice for women, too. I've been reading all of his advice and stories. It is gold, man, pure gold! Much better than anything I've ever seen and far more insightful.
I read The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed and am reading The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Check them out, too, but realize, as Ian says, your goal should be to change who you are, not rely on lines and openings forever. Use them to get comfortable then move past them. Pua's don't want you to do that because they want to sell you their courses, which is a rip. Read the books. Find Ian's ezine articles "Get Her to Return Your Call" and "What About Her - The Flaw with Game Exposed". They are gold! Also, the second one has a great opener which is guaranteed to get the converstion going easily by wowing her. He calls it "2 to 9" and of course doesn't use it anymore because he is past game (i.e. needing openers, negging, etc), so it's available to the rest of us! (Ian's past lines and openers, onto what he calls the common-denominator. I'm telling you, read the book!)
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?
| | |
