Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In [Paperback]

 

 

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Having recently submitted a review that slated another book on Negotiation, it is only fitting that I should write now to comment on one that deserves quite the opposite response.

Getting to Yes explains what successful negotiation is all about - as you read you know that the approach described makes perfect sense - indeed in retrospect it may all seem fairly obvious. In reality though, the ideas presented are quite radically different to the normal approach to negotiation. I guarantee that most readers will change or refine the way they negotiate as a result of reading this book.

The points made are explained clearly and illustrated well and, in contrast to some, the authors in this case have resisted the temptation to keep padding their ideas out. The result is a work that is fairly concise (less that 200 pages) and easy to read.

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1991 second edition, Penguin Books, 229 pages (of which 187 pages form the main body of the book).

If you've read any of my other reviews, you won't be surprised to discover this is another of the twenty books recommended by Charlie Munger in the second edition of Poor Charlie's Almanack (the most useful book I've read).

I have wanted to learn more about negotiation since last year, when I had particularly protracted and unpleasant negotiations over leaving my previous full time job. It was probably the most unpleasant time of my life, it went on for months and the return for that huge personal cost was very poor (for everyone except my lawyer, that is). My relations with all of the people at the firm were also destroyed by the time the mess finally ended. I figured there had to be a better way - and the sooner I learned it the better.

Having a single book on the subject recommended by a very well read and extremely effective individual in his eighties like Munger was ideal. If there is a single, most useful text on negotiation, this should be it. Fortunately, even with such high expectations, I wasn't disappointed. I would include Getting to Yes amongst the top ten most useful books I have read.

It makes an excellent companion volume to Karen Pryor's Don't Shoot the Dog, which I have just re-read. Getting to Yes tells you how to approach forming agreements between people (whether a divorce or simply which film to watch at the cinema this week). Don't Shoot the Dog shows you how to teach (whether animals, people or yourself) and learn. Between them they cover most of the important situations in which conflict is likely to occur.

Their general approach is the same: that efforts to dominate or be combative are unnecessary and usually counter-productive. The most obvious specific similarity is their suggestion that one always try to look at the situation from the other side:

"The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can possess."

Many people (previously including myself) think that if one is not being `tough' then one is being weak. Both of these wonderfully humane books show clearly that this is not the case. You can be pleasant and understanding whilst still being tough (in the principled sense) and unyieldingly fair. What a relief to know that you can be both - and be more effective.

I found Getting to Yes rather painful to read at times, as I kept comparing the advice and examples in the book with my own experiences of the previous year. Many times the authors advise acting in a certain way and warn what is likely to happen with other (more common) approaches. My book is littered with scribbled comments saying things like `oh dear - this is exactly what happened in my situation'.

Most people view negotiation (I certainly did) as simply a choice between hard and soft positional bargaining. Fortunately it turns out that this view is wrong:

"If you do not like the choice between hard and soft positional bargaining, you can change the game.
The game of negotiation takes place at two levels. At one level, negotiation addresses the substance; at another it focuses - usually implicitly - on the procedure for dealing with the substance."

This whole book is about how one changes the procedural game from positional bargaining to what the authors call `principled negotiation'. Principled negotiation involves attacking the problem independent of the people by focussing on interests rather than positions. By focussing on the interests - that literally must underlie all positions - the authors show that it is often possible to invent additional options that fulfil those interests better than the obvious initial positions. By insisting on the use of objective criteria, the authors also show how one can form wiser agreements and cope with intransigent positional bargainers (it becomes difficult to sustain arbitrary positions in the face of a negotiator who brings in objective, external standards to justify all of his suggestions).

It is welcome to see that the authors realise their methods are no panacea. They understand that the best a method of negotiation can achieve is the wisest result possible for all parties, bearing in mind the situation and the people involved.

I particularly liked the brevity and clear structure of Getting to Yes. There is a danger in `how to' books like this of being presented with so many individual pieces of advice that, whilst individually sensible, we find ourselves overwhelmed when we try to put them into practice. All the advice forms a sort of mental sludge from which little stands out.

I noted with interest the authors mention in the preface that their editor reorganised the book and cut it in half: "To spare our readers, he had the good sense not to spare our feelings." I couldn't agree more and I`m very grateful to their (clearly first rate) editor. It reminds me of a comment Elmore Leonard made about his own books: "if it reads easy, it was because it was written hard". That's the way books should be.

A very useful and practical read which provides an extremely effective framework for negotiation which I have applied in the workplace. The strengths of the book are its clear and concise style which makes it highly readable.I have dipped into my copy numerous times both to prepare and to carry out "postmortems" when things have not gone to plan!.

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4.0 out of 5 stars Classic..!
I loved 'Negotiating for Dummies' (1996) but I can easily say that 'Getting to Yes...' seems to be the Godfather of the negotiating books. Read more

Published 1 month ago by soren JP

4.0 out of 5 stars Practical, Common Sense Advice for Reaching Agreement
Getting to Yes does what all good self-help books should do: it provides practical, common sense advice in a coherent style and makes assimilating information easy. Read more

Published 1 month ago by John Dexter

5.0 out of 5 stars Yes!
Good read, good advice / skills which have since been successfully been put into practice - nothing to loose but a lot to gain.

Published 2 months ago by Kathie

5.0 out of 5 stars getting to YES negotiating an agreement without giving in.
This is an excellent and perfect book when it comes to negotiation without giving in, it is very rich with great tips and examples, I strongly recommend this book for anyone... Read more

Published 4 months ago by Amos

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect
Perfect book for people like to negotiate. I am studying politics and one of my modules is Negotiating Politics, which is based on this book. Read more

Published 15 months ago by Lymbouris Christos

5.0 out of 5 stars A Powerful Negotiating Tool!,
Separate the People from the Problem:
Negotiators are people first. A working relationship where trust, respect and friendship are built up over time can make each new... Read more

Published 15 months ago by Deanna Glory

5.0 out of 5 stars The foundation of negotiation (1981 and still valid) !
Look this book was first printed in 1981 so it represents the ideas and insights of the authors at that time. And the authors did really put a standard out there in 1981. Read more

Published 22 months ago by Caufrier Frederic

4.0 out of 5 stars clarifying
Content is really good and explore from daily life negotiation through more complicated ones involving countries. Read more

Published on 29 Aug 2009 by Vicky

4.0 out of 5 stars very practical book!!!
Very handy book!!!

Gives secrets on getting what you want when you are negotiating!!!

Gives tips on where you have to concentrate... Read more

Published on 23 Jun 2009 by Pavlos Iglesis

5.0 out of 5 stars Helped me to get a better salary
Excelent book. Very straight forward with loads of examples. It helped me to negotiate a higher salary and benefits in my new job. Great for any kind of negotiation. A must have.

Published on 1 Jun 2009 by W. T. Prestes

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