Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths [Hardcover]

 

 

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Dr. Timothy Butler is a Senior Fellow and the Director of Career Development Programs at Harvard Business School. In this book he draws on his research and practice of career coaching to give a pathway for dealing with the impasse that we have all felt at some time in our career and life path - times when we have the feeling that we're stuck or paralysed and unable to move forward.

Butler points out that we will experience this psychological impasse many times in our life. We're convinced that something must change, whether in work or personal life, but often unable to move beyond it. But, of course, failure to "get unstuck" - using the title of the book - can put career and personal life at risk, as well as affecting the functioning of your team, family or organisation.

In the book Butler describes how to recognise this state of impasse, and then offers strategies for moving beyond it - by tapping into our interests and imagination, recognising patters and moving our insight into taking action in a new direction. Each chapter contains a number of practical exercises drawn from Butler's own coaching and workshop practice so that the reader can follow a self development process to deal with their own life situation. Career counsellors, coaches and consultants will also find the processes and activities very useful in their own practice of helping others to make decisions. In particular, Butler shares his 100 Jobs exercise which is key to identifying an understanding of work and life themes, and the tensions between them which often lead to our impasse.

Throughout the book, Butler also uses a number of case studies about individuals who have successfully transitioned out of their impasses, These are very useful in highlighting the process stage and the use of the tool or exercise that is most relevant to helping increase insight or make decisions. I did find the portrayal of the easy, positive outcome for the individual in every case a little unbelievable. Obviously they are being used for illustrative purposes, but some indication of difficulty or examples where the intervention was less successful would have added something more true to real life.

That said, "Getting Unstuck" is a practical, authoritative framework for self-development or helping others to define and move past their current `stuckness' and move onto a new career or life path that is more meaningful and fulfilling. It is well written; the practical exercises are relevant and well described; and there is a comprehensive bibliography for those who want to take their learning and understanding to deeper level.

often fall into psychological ruts that can lead to feelings of fatigue, worthlessness and even guilt. During such periods, falling asleep at night and getting out of bed in the morning both become difficult. Making decisions gets to be almost impossible. If this state persists intensely over a long period, clinicians call it depression. When these feelings are short-lived and intermittent, psychologist and career change expert Timothy Butler calls it an "impasse." Though uncomfortable, an impasse is good because it can act as a much-needed catalyst for a meaningful metamorphosis. Unfortunately, many people do not know how to get "unstuck" from an impasse. That is where Butler's savvy book comes into play. He provides insightful, hands-on advice telling people who feel stuck how to move along and make necessary, valuable changes. For his exercises to work, the reader must spend time on them and be open to letting them take effect. We applaud Butler's life change program and his intelligent psychological guide. Learn how to overthrow that impasse, and go forward new and fresh.

Well before finishing the conclusion of this book, I concluded that Timothy Butler is both a relentless empiricist (i.e. being keenly observant of human experience, especially his own) and a relentless pragmatist (i.e. leveraging this experience to apply lessons learned in terms of what works...and what doesn't). In the Introduction he focuses on the six phases "The Cycle of Impasse." I now quote from the text: the "arrival of the [given] crisis and impasse, its deepening and the attendant re-emergence of unresolved issues, the dropping of old assumptions and the opening up to new information, the shift to a new way of understanding our situation, the greater recognition of deep patterns of our personality, [and finally] the decision to take concrete action." Having carefully presented the "what," Butler then focuses on the "how" of "getting unstuck."

It is important to keep in mind that as Butler duly acknowledges, crises vary (sometimes significantly) in terms of their relative importance; also, impasses also vary in terms of their nature and extent; moreover, "getting unstuck" from one crisis does not mean that it will never recur; in addition, most people find themselves struggling to cope with more than one crisis at a time; finally, and obviously, its is highly advisable to prevent a crisis, if at all possible, and thus eliminate the need to get "unstuck" from one.

The subtitle suggests another interesting aspect of this book's appeal: "How Dead Ends Become New Paths." I am among those who believe that every problem and, especially, every failure offers an invaluable learning opportunity. Long ago, Jack Dempsey suggested that "champions get up when they can't." More recently Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas, in Geeks and Geezers and then in Leading for a Lifetime, assert that most (if not all) great leaders - at one time - experienced a "crucible" which forged qualities of character they would not otherwise develop. In Authentic Leadership and then in True North, Bill George makes essentially the same point. With all due respect to Yogi Berra (reputed to have suggested that "When you get to a fork in the road, take it"), what seem to be "dead ends" can become "new paths" if - huge if -- we can summon the courage and sustain the determination to take "concrete action."

To this last point, Butler insists - and I agree - that "our olives do not change without action. The impasse crisis has its resolution in a decision to make specific choices that change our day-to-day reality. ..Know what the action needs to be, and actually performing it, is what seals the cycle of learning and change and allows us to move forward."

I commend Butler for providing three valuable appendices: "Continuing the Journey" (an annotated bibliography), "A Note on Impasse and Depression" (differences between symptoms of clinical depression and symptoms at impasse), and "Scoring the One Hundred Jobs Exercise" (a self-diagnostic to accompany an exercise in Chapter 4). All of those who read this book find themselves "stuck" from time to time. On occasion, the "impasse" is minor and only temporary (e.g. missing several days at work because of having the flu). On other occasions, the situation is much more serious and seems hopeless, or at least daunting (e.g. an extended period of unemployment as bills pile up). Butler seems genuinely determined to help his readers cope effectively with all manner of crises, especially those which may seem hopeless. Obviously, it remains for each reader to determine the value of this book to her or his own circumstances. I do presume to suggest that among its many benefits, it can help anyone - as an ancient prayer requests -to recognize what can be changed, to accept what can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

Well before finishing the conclusion of this book, I concluded that Timothy Butler is both a relentless empiricist (i.e. being keenly observant of human experience, especially his own) and a relentless pragmatist (i.e. leveraging this experience to apply lessons learned in terms of what works...and what doesn't). In the Introduction he focuses on the six phases of "The Cycle of Impasse." I now quote from the text: the "arrival of the [given] crisis and impasse, its deepening and the attendant re-emergence of unresolved issues, the dropping of old assumptions and the opening up to new information, the shift to a new way of understanding our situation, the greater recognition of deep patterns of our personality, [and finally] the decision to take concrete action." Having carefully presented the "what," Butler then focuses on the "how" of "getting unstuck."

It is important to keep in mind that as Butler duly acknowledges, crises vary (sometimes significantly) in terms of their relative importance; also, impasses also vary in terms of their nature and extent; moreover, "getting unstuck" from one crisis does not mean that it will never recur; in addition, most people find themselves struggling to cope with more than one crisis at a time; finally, and obviously, its is highly advisable to prevent a crisis, if at all possible, and thus eliminate the need to get "unstuck" from one.

The subtitle suggests another interesting aspect of this book's appeal: "How Dead Ends Become New Paths." I am among those who believe that every problem and, especially, every failure offers an invaluable learning opportunity. Long ago, Jack Dempsey suggested that "champions get up when they can't." More recently Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas, in Geeks and Geezers and then in Leading for a Lifetime, assert that most (if not all) great leaders - at one time - experienced a "crucible" which forged qualities of character they would not otherwise develop. In Authentic Leadership and then in True North, Bill George makes essentially the same point. With all due respect to Yogi Berra (reputed to have suggested that "When you get to a fork in the road, take it"), what seem to be "dead ends" can become "new paths" if - huge if -- we can summon the courage and sustain the determination to take "concrete action."

To this last point, Butler insists - and I agree - that "our olives do not change without action. The impasse crisis has its resolution in a decision to make specific choices that change our day-to-day reality. ..Know what the action needs to be, and actually performing it, is what seals the cycle of learning and change and allows us to move forward."

I commend Butler for providing three valuable appendices: "Continuing the Journey" (an annotated bibliography), "A Note on Impasse and Depression" (differences between symptoms of clinical depression and symptoms at impasse), and "Scoring the One Hundred Jobs Exercise" (a self-diagnostic to accompany an exercise in Chapter 4). All of those who read this book find themselves "stuck" from time to time. On occasion, the "impasse" is minor and only temporary (e.g. missing several days at work because of having the flu). On other occasions, the situation is much more serious and seems hopeless, or at least daunting (e.g. an extended period of unemployment as bills pile up). Butler seems genuinely determined to help his readers cope effectively with all manner of crises, especially those which may seem hopeless. Obviously, it remains for each reader to determine the value of this book to her or his own circumstances. I do presume to suggest that among its many benefits, it can help anyone - as an ancient prayer requests -to recognize what can be changed, to accept what can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

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