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Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Paperback – 5 May 2009


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Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You + I Can Mend Your Broken Heart + It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy
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Product details

  • Paperback: 264 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books (5 May 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0738213284
  • ISBN-13: 978-0738213286
  • Product Dimensions: 13.7 x 1.5 x 20.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 33,712 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Review

Curled Up with a Good Book "Elliott delivers the goods with a book that can help anyone get past a broken heart, and be stronger for it...The book provides solid, usable information told with compassionate understanding that really jumpstarts a heart that is on standby...The tools are priceless, and the inspiration to come out on top is what really makes this book stand out in the ocean of other self-help titles out there." ForeWord This Week, 4/22/09 "Each of the book's steps has been thoughtfully developed from the author's personal experience and her training and experience as a grief counselor." Bookviews, 6/09 "This book identifies the frequent mistakes people make during the early days of a breakup and explains how to avoid them. [Elliott] shows how to use the pain to grow, reassess your goals, and create a healthier life." Publisher's Weekly, 6/8/09 "Provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex's house or obsessed with self-blame." InfoDad.com "Tell[s] people who have suffered relationship devastation how to get through the stages of grief associated with romantic implosion-and how to pick themselves up afterwards and come out of their distress better than they ever were before...Elliott's comments on the stages of grief, although scarcely new, can be helpful to just about anyone who feels devastated by the end of an intimate relationship." Midwest Book Review, June 2009 "An effective book any general lending library will find popular." Midwest Book Review, June 2009 "A recommended read for those looking for more reasons to embrace better health." About.com, "Top Breakup Books," 1/1/10 "An excellent breakup book that assists not only in dealing with the shock of a relationship ending, but also how to move past the breakup to become a stronger, better person in spite/because of it. Topics such as dealing with breakup myths ("I need closure!") and boundaries (how do I not get into this situation ever again) are refreshing and well-suited to the tone and style. Highly recommended." About.com, 1/1/10 "A well thought out and surprisingly thorough book about dealing with a breakup...With chapters on learning new boundaries and how to tell the kids, Elliot has covered topics that most books of this genre ignore outright. Chapter 2, The Rules of Disengagement, are a must-read for anyone who has ever suffered a bad breakup, particularly the list of items that keep folks stuck in their grief--most notably the concept of needing closure after a failed relationship...Well written and thorough. Practical how-to's in every chapter. Warm and friendly tone that never comes across as condescending or judgmental." YourTango.com, "Top 5 Breakup Books of 2009," 1/1/10 "This practical book offers useful tips about how to get through the depressing post-breakup stages of loneliness and desolation. If you can't afford a therapist, this useful tome will help you take charge of your life instead of giving way to grief." Midwest Book Review, August 2010"What sets this book apart from other self help titles is the fact that the author has suffered the same type of heartache...If you are getting over a failed marriage, or a breakup of a relationship, then this is the must have book that will get you past your pain and suffering...[It] offers hope to those who are suffering. It will show you how to change a life altering experience into something that will change your life for the better." Kansas City Star, 9/29/10"If you're in recovery from a relationship that ended... read this book." "Bookworm Sez" "From the devastation that comes at the end of a relationship, through the reeling, dealing and healing, Elliott worms her way around all aspects of a broken heart...Getting Past Your Breakup will help you see a crystal-bright future." DatingAdvice.com, 10/29/14 "A breakup is the best time to change your life, and this book will tell you how to do it. It will serve as a road map for getting over your ex and putting your energy back where it belongs: on you! Stories and strategies will keep you inspired as you permanently get over the breakup, get your confidence back and open yourself up to finding the love of your life. You can do it with this book."

About the Author

Susan J. Elliott JD, MEd is the creator of the Getting Past Your Past blog, bootcamps, radio show, and seminar series. A sought-after media relationship commentator, motivational speaker, certified grief counselor, and attorney, she has appeared on national and local (NYC) television and radio programs and has been interviewed and quoted in mainstream papers and magazines as well as websites and blogs. She lives in New York.

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Susan on 23 July 2011
Format: Paperback
I bought this book last September when my heart was broken and I didn't think I could ever be happy again. I can honestly say that the book had a massively positive impact on how I thought about my previous relationships and what I could hope for in the future.
I read a little bit every night before I went to sleep and it was like a little bit of medicine for the soul. At times the book is quite profound, and if you are at the point where you want to stop making the same mistakes in your life and with relationships - then this book is the best investment you'll ever make.
If you're really struggling post breakup then I can't recommend Susan Elliott enough, the chapter about how to help your kids is great. If you follow her advice, then you'll move on with dignity and with integrity intact, and with a much greater chance of being happy and content in your own skin, in your own company.
So, 10 months on I can say that life goes on, it's even better than before and my breakup certainly was the best thing that ever happened to me! Get the damn book!
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Roadrunner47 on 5 July 2010
Format: Paperback
"Getting Past Your Breakup" is undoubtly one of the best books I read on the subject. Eloquently written,it guides you through the stages of post-break up grief, offers tools and techniques to turn loss and pain into engine of personal growth. Susan Elliot's book is much more than a post-break up first-aid - which it is too, and very effective one! It teaches you how to set healthy boundaries, how to restore / build up self- esteem, how to identify patterns in broken relationships... how to move on and start dating without falling into the same pit over and over again. Working through the book resulted in me becoming much more balanced, self-assured and assertive person and it has postive impact on virtually all major areas of my life: my relationship with my son, with my sister, on my professional life.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Katharine700 on 10 July 2011
Format: Paperback
My ex finished with me nearly 2 months ago and having no idea how to cope with all the emotions I was going through I came across this book which I saw had been highly recommended. I can truthfully say it has never left my side since, it is as though it was written directly for me. Susan Elliott is a highly experienced grief therapist and sets out in detail the phases of grief and feelings you will encounter. There is lots of practical advice on how to cope with all your feelings, and how to bring your self-esteem back, plus at the core of the book is a detailed questionnaire you fill out - "The Relationship Inventory". During this you take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside point of view and write this down on paper which allows you to see the relationship for what it was, rather than through the fantasy you have in your head. Getting over a relationship takes time and work, and this book guides you all the way through and makes you realise you are not alone in anything you are feeling, and you're not going mad with all the crazy emotions. It is my bible and cannot recommend it enough!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By MancBaby77 on 23 Mar. 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Maybe this book is better for people who've had a less traumatic breakup than I had ? My partner and best friend of ten years walked out on me and my whole world turned upside down. A decade together is a long time and the grief is very intense, scary and distressing. At the moment, the pain and anxiety are too raw for this book to really help me? Maybe it will be of more use in a few months time. I don't have past issues that are stopping me getting over my relationship. I just can't get over it because I miss the person and the loss is sometimes too much to face. This book kind of infers that we all have some unresolved issue that makes us cling to a bad relationship/ex partner, but for a lot of us, we just want that person back because we love them - that's all! The book makes some good points about having no contact, and allowing yourself to grieve....but for me, self-affirmations and journalling are not really going to bring me closer to the relief I need. I feel like somebody has died and i think it will be a long long time before I can be me again. This book has had many good reviews - this is just my opinion. It is a good book to have - perhaps I hoped for too much too soon with it ??
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Surrey lady on 23 Nov. 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
My 30 year marriage has come to an end after a good few years of 'hanging in there for fear of moving to a new life'. After reading this book I have realised that there is a life beyond this. I , and my husband have been miserable for so long and after reading this book I am putting plans in place for a new and better life, even in my mid fifties! It's scary but absolutely necessary, I am hopeful that it will work out after reading the common sense ideas in this book. Can't recommend it enough....
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Elles on 5 Jun. 2009
Format: Paperback
I'd hesitate to call this a book that helps you to "just" get over a break-up. It's so much more.

Though a relationship or marriage breakdown can be terrible this book is so much more than "getting over" things. Susan Elliott shows you how to not only recover from a break-up, but how to build a new life and be happy, whether that's in or out of a relationship.

For me, it was an eye-opener. It taught me how to learn to grieve (and not just relationships, but also other losses in my life, and from that point to then move on and get a life.

This book isn't gender specific either, it's aimed at anyone who wants to pick themselves up and get the life they want and deserve.

It's great. It's the only book I'd recommend for those in a break-up situation.
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