Getting to the Other Side of Grief
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Product Description
Product Description
It's something no married person wants to imagine. Yet each year, eight hundred thousand individuals mourn the passing of a husband or wife. Coming alongside the grieving spouse, psychologist Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and pastor/professor Robert De Vries provide much-needed support from a unique perspective--empathy. They each suffered the loss of their spouse at a relatively young age. Throughout Getting to the Other Side of Grief, the authors share their stories as living proof that if worked through properly, grief will lead the way to a fresh new life. Beginning with the premise that a full resolution to grief is possible, the authors extend this lifeline to readers: Complete healing doesn't happen without intentional effort (time alone doesn't heal), and this intentional effort, for complete success, must combine Christian faith and sound mental health practices. In offering these interwoven disciplines, the authors give readers the benefit of both the male and female perspective. Readers will find getting to the other side of grief less lonely and more promising in the empathetic company of these two authors. Those who assist grieving persons on their journeys--pastors, counselors, family members, friends--will find this a useful supplement to the support they offer.
About the Author
Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge is a clinical psychologist at Pine Rest Mental Health Services. She is also a certified social worker and a registered nurse. Robert C. De Vries is professor of church education at Calvin Theological Seminary and regularly conducts workshops and seminars on issues relating to adult education, youth ministry, and bereavement.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
4.7 out of 5 stars (44 customer reviews)
150 of 167 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Beware - Punishing Theological Views, 18 July 2006
By Flower Mouth - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Getting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse (Paperback)
My husband had only been gone for a handful of days when I ordered this book. I read all the reviews here and thought that the "religious" aspect would somehow be acceptable, perhaps very helpful. I was stopped dead in my tracks when I read the following:
"At its very nature death is demonic, and you cannot explain the demonic. Death happens. It is not really God's fault, nor yours, nor that of your spouse. Death is the devil's calling card."
Are you kidding me? I lost my husband! He died! In the context of searching for spiritual understanding, the idea that the devil is responsible for my beloved husband's death is absurd. Even if the practical, therapy half of this book might be helpful...it is made null and void in my mind by allowing such utterly nonsensical and antiquated thinking to prevail.
I quote further:
"Lazarus will come storming from the tomb. Death can't hold him back with the power of Christ on his side. Jesus is weeping because sin has broken this world, and death is a symbol of that brokenness. Even though he has the power to fix it, Jesus grieves."
Am I to believe that my husband's death is punishment for "original sin"? The message here is that we, "man", are the cause of the curse of death, through sin we have brought death upon ourselves and only at the second coming of the Messiah will we be "resurrected".
If these ideas bring comfort to those who grieve the loss of a spouse, then this is a good book to read. I write this only as a warning to those who might have different "religious", spiritual or "Christian" beliefs, or those who may be seeking spiritual guidance. The opinions set down in this book can be very discomforting and offensive.
40 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent--Even if you only read half, 5 May 2002
By BethesdaReader - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Getting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse (Paperback)
If the Christian scripture approach does not fit with your views on God and religion (it does not mine), don't let that discourage you from buying this book. The psychologist portions alone are excellent. I am not yet on "the other side" of grief, but I'm starting to see glimmers of what the other side will be like. I'm cautiously optimistic, and this book reinforces that optimism. The psychologist's entries give a wonderful, hopeful view of what's possible in starting anew. It helps assuage any lingering guilt you may feel about starting over. A central concept within is that to get to the other side, you must face your grieving head-on and not simply expect time to do the job for you. The book offers prompts for writing exercises that will help you to face and resolve issues in your grieving. It's hard to find the time to write, especially if you've still got children at home, but whatever you can do will help. Here's a motivating quote from the book: "Do not waste your life on what might have been. Deal with the grief. Deal with it now so you can get on with your life." In the early weeks, I wasn't ready to "get on"; instead, I was "holding on." That's normal, as is the change I'm now feeling towards moving on. Grief is strange, and different books and approaches help at different times. When you are ready to think about moving forward to the next chapter in your life, this book will give you the encouragement you need as well as guidance to help you to the other side.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Getting to the Other Side of Grief, 20 Jan 2002
By Sandra Conklin - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Getting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse (Paperback)
What a wonderful and comforting book. It has touched on almost every feeling and concern I am having even though it has only been 6 weeks after loosing my husband of 23 years. I was able to feel comforted and assured by each chapter. The "Pastor Says" sections gives scripture to point the way and the "Psychologist Says" helps you realize all the feelings you have are okay and normal. Blending the knowledge from both aspects was so helpful. The fact that both authors have lost a spouse and know first hand the grief process shows through in this book. The authors have Blended both the spiritual and the emotional aspects into one very special book.
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