Shop now Shop Clothing clo_fly_aw15_NA_shoes Shop All Shop All Amazon Fashion Cloud Drive Photos Shop Fire TV Shop now Shop Fire HD 6 Shop Kindle Paperwhite Shop now Shop Now Shop now
Start reading Getting to Calm on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here or start reading now with a free Kindle Reading App.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device


Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Image not available

Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens [Kindle Edition]

Laura S. Kastner Ph.D. , Ph.D. Jennifer Wyatt
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £13.17
Kindle Price: £7.46 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
You Save: £5.71 (43%)
* Unlike print books, digital books are subject to VAT.

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.

To get the free app, enter your e-mail address or mobile phone number.


Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition £7.46  
Paperback £12.96  
Celebrate 5 Years of Kindle
Celebrate 5 Years of Kindle: Bestsellers for 99p
For five days starting 2nd September, 2015 we'll reveal a selection of bestsellers from the last 5 years, on sale for 99p for one day only -- come back each day to see the next selection of favourites for 99p. >Shop now

Book Description

Parenting a teenager is tougher than ever, but new brain research offers new insight into the best way to connect with teens. With humor, wisdom and a deep understanding of the teenaged brain, noted teen expert Dr. Laura Kastner shows parents how to stay calm and cool-headed while dealing with hot-button issues everything from rude attitude and lying to sex and substance use -- with clear, easy-to-follow suggestions for setting limits while maintaining a close and loving relationship. Find out why Dr. T. Berry Brazelton calls Getting to Calm required reading for any parent who struggles with their teen!

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 514 KB
  • Print Length: 304 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: ParentMap; 1 edition (1 Jun. 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003KRP3FC
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #405,301 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, and more.

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?

Customer Reviews

3 star
2 star
1 star
4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful read 22 May 2015
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I had many issues with my daughter. I got this book and read it. It's very helpful indeed.
As a single parent some of it doesn't apply.
It is a bit 'American' and can be repetitive but it's definitely helpful and worth a read.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book 28 Aug. 2012
By Tahir
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Great book - I would recommend it as fundamental reading to everyone with kids over 10. It's just as essential to Tweens and Teens.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.7 out of 5 stars  104 reviews
151 of 153 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My most difficult negotiations are at home... 1 Oct. 2009
By Seattle Attorney - Published on
Ok, the first thing you need to know is that I'm not a psychologist, or teacher or social worker. I'm a 50-something male attorney on my third teen! The next thing you should know is that this isn't a book I would have picked up at the bookstore on my own. However, since my wife "gently" suggested I read it, I gave it a go. The first chapter struck home ("Why are Today's Teens so Rude?") and I was hooked from there...didn't stop until I finished the last page. The book is full of down to earth, easily understood advice and although it was not intuitive for a 50-something attorney who often falls into debate mode with his kids, I found it incredibly helpful. Highly recommended reading for those looking to steer clear of courtroom drama with their teens!
57 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoy Life with Your Teenagers 27 July 2009
By HMS Horn - Published on
This book would have been a powerful resource for me to have been able to recommend to parents when I was a secondary school teacher for thirty years. In the book the authors say that teachers are experts, and yes, they are a good resource, but this book is amazing. They don't just tell you about strategies; they walk you through conversations between teens and their parents showing not only the content, but also the process, analyzing what each participant's responses. They point out mistakes that parents make and explain what parents should avoid, but also show how to be more successful talking with teenagers.

The book covers so many issues which come up. The chapter, "When You're Fighting About Grades", is just one of many that could be so helpful to all parents. The section titled "Seven Top Tips for Boosting School Achievement" in that chapter offers excellent guidelines as does "The ABC'S of Family Health" in the chapter about getting stressed out. They also deal with drinking, smoking, dating, and the use of electronic devices all while pointing out what it is like to be a teenager.

By the end of the book the reader is shown two scripts where two different fathers take diverse approaches with a daughter who has received a poor progress report. The successful parent shown is "calm, careful and skillful" and as a reader, I felt empowered to use their strategies not only with teenagers, but with any family member. The thought-out careful approach can make all the difference.

I would recommend this book to all parents of teenagers. Would anyone want to miss the section about "More Responsibility for Kids"?
58 of 61 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Help for parents 10 July 2009
By Margaret R. Tribble - Published on
Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens

This book is quite readable and reasonable. I particularly liked the up-to-the-minute brain information, which explains teen behaviors (and parents', too)in ways that take the moral sting out of negative behaviors. I found the language helpful; for example, "rudeness" is a better description of typical teen behavior than "defiance." And "discipline" is really, at its root, about learning, not punishing. The chapter on entitlement and indulgence is superb.

I have no hesitation in recommending this book for all parents, even if they don't yet have teens!
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Getting to Calm 24 Oct. 2010
By Mayflower - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
My daughter was way beyond 'wit's end' with her 13-year old. A battle to get her up and send her to bed, with non-stop Attitude between. The household was so disrupted by the endless emotional commotion that they were thinking seriously about medications and psychiatrists. I heard this book mentioned, ordered a copy, read it in one night, and handed to my daughter. "Read it now," I said. "You need this book."

Have the problems disappeared? Certainly not! We have a 13-year old girl in our lives! But her mother has a new and powerful tool. When conflict begins, Mom dashes away for a quick consultation; the chapters and sections are designed to work this way, offering on-the-spot, targeted strategies. And the hidden secret of this book is that the "Getting to Calm" begins with calming the parents. It works so well that my daughter refers to the book as "my valium!" And, faced with relaxed and confident parents, my granddaughter is sailing through her "moments" with much greater ease.

The book is realistic, about both teens and their parents. The calming begins when you realize that you don't have the only child that behaves this way and that you aren't the only parent who is hurt & angry. The book takes time to discuss what is happening, physiologically and psychologically; it helps to know that this stage is as necessary and natural as it is trying. The case studies are realistic, the voice of the book is wise & friendly, and the recommendations really really work.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Tangible Solutions, Helpful Advice 23 Sept. 2009
By Russ Barton - Published on
"Getting to Calm" provides useful examples of constructive (and destructive) interactions between parents and teens, highlighting many of the traps we easily fall into as we struggle to parent teenagers through the myriad of challenges they face as adolescents. This book is packed full of wise advise for parents of teens, written in an extremely accessible style. I particularly appreciate the authors' suggestion to hold debriefing sessions following teen missteps -- first, listening with empathy, then asking the teen to critique their own behavior, reflecting on where they went wrong and how they might have made different decisions. Parents are shown how to sidestep power struggles and avoid destructive patterns of accusation and labeling, instead using mistakes as a platform for learning, growth, and relationship building.

The models of effective parenting presented in "Getting to Calm" demonstrate parents communicating respect and caring, while sticking to the boundaries and guidelines so needed by teenagers. The book provides samples of dialogue where, by adopting a "calm" approach, parents are able to convey faith in their child, and a sense that even in the throws of a crisis situation the teen is fundamentally a good kid and wise person who may have made a big mistake and can learn from it. The authors provide practical strategies and advice for helping parents manage their own sometimes less that ideal reactions and responses and guide their teen in making wise choices. This book provides tangible solutions for parents struggling with the common difficulties of raising teens.

Lorinda R. Rowledge, Ph.D.
Were these reviews helpful?   Let us know
Search Customer Reviews

Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions

Look for similar items by category