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Product Description
Synopsis
An authoritative guide shares practical advice designed to help readers overcome self-defeating behaviors--including procrastination, obsession, self-pity, rebellion, and guilt--to effectively cope with the challenges and difficulties of life. Reissue.
From the Author
Self-Defeating Behavior causes life's biggest tragedy.
Life's biggest tragedy is waking up at the end of your life only to discover that it has been a terrible life and then realizing that you have done it to yourself and it's too late to get a second chance. Few things make you feel worse about yourself than engaing in self-defeating behavior and having to live with the consequences. Fortuantely, however, few things make you feel better about yourself than overcoming self-defeating behavior and replacing it with life-enhancing behavior.
Life's biggest tragedy is waking up at the end of your life only to discover that it has been a terrible life and then realizing that you have done it to yourself and it's too late to get a second chance. Few things make you feel worse about yourself than engaing in self-defeating behavior and having to live with the consequences. Fortuantely, however, few things make you feel better about yourself than overcoming self-defeating behavior and replacing it with life-enhancing behavior.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
You won't find, I think, a single mention of the words ego or id or unconscious in this book. That is surprising in a book by psychiatrists but it makes the book easy to read and take in. It deals with common faults that make someone unhappy or get on other people's nerves. It is actually enjoyable to read and comes across as wisdom - an old-fashioned word.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is a pleasant, easy to read book that gives you 'at a glance' overviews for a vast range of self defeating behaviours. However, the introduction was a little sparse and doesn't really provide enough information on where self defeating behaviours come from or why they endure.
I would say it is ideal as a self help book, but is not in depth enough for clinicians or those on a professional study course who will need more information.
I would say it is ideal as a self help book, but is not in depth enough for clinicians or those on a professional study course who will need more information.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Dr. Goulston writes with humor, humility, and humanity. You feel like he's been there. It's easy to be open to his advice and act on it.
I related to many of the 40 self-defeating behaviors, but none more than procrastination, which has caused me to miss many boats over many years. Dr. G's insight is that procrastination is related to loneliness, and that if we can find ways to partner with other people, it helps us stop procrastinating. I've been putting that technique to work on writing projects (talking about lonely!) and it has been helping me for the past several months.
When I first read of the relationship between procrastination and loneliness, I told our friend Veronica about it. Veronica is a single parent, the mother of two young girls. She told me that the night before, tired after a full day at work, she had faced the task of cleaning out the kids' closet. She wanted to go to sleep rather than face that closet alone. Instead, she called a friend on her portable phone and talked to the friend for two hours while cleaning out the closet. Veronica overcame loneliness and procrastination, and confirmed Dr. Goulston's insight, all with one phone call.
My wife was also impressed with the book, although she tends to dismiss pop psych books. She says I should definitely use the book to overcome my self-defeating behaviors (I've noticed her employing a few of Dr. G's suggestions as well). Now I'm going to reread it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Easy Read and a Brilliant Little Book
I'm a normal everyday person with a few complications in my life. I came across this book by accident and its a little gem. Read more
Published 12 months ago by elyfly
How to avoid or overcome self-defeating behavior
As I began to read this book, I recalled the core concepts in The Knowing-Doing Gap co-authored by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton. Read more
Published on 5 Aug 2008 by Robert Morris
The first self-help book my husband has ever read.
Goulston and Goldberg's book is the first self-help book my husband has ever read. He told me it was because it had no psychobabble and gave him steps he could use. Read more
Published on 6 Dec 1997
If I read this book 3 years ago, I wouldn't be in jail.
I been getting in my own way all of my life. I just would not admit it to myself until I got this book. Read more
Published on 6 Dec 1997
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