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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior Paperback – 30 Oct 2003

11 customer reviews

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Product Description

Synopsis

An authoritative guide shares practical advice designed to help readers overcome self-defeating behaviors--including procrastination, obsession, self-pity, rebellion, and guilt--to effectively cope with the challenges and difficulties of life. Reissue.

From the Author

Self-Defeating Behavior causes life's biggest tragedy.
Life's biggest tragedy is waking up at the end of your life only to discover that it has been a terrible life and then realizing that you have done it to yourself and it's too late to get a second chance. Few things make you feel worse about yourself than engaing in self-defeating behavior and having to live with the consequences. Fortuantely, however, few things make you feel better about yourself than overcoming self-defeating behavior and replacing it with life-enhancing behavior.

Inside This Book

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A patient of mine told her mother she was seeing a therapist. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By elyfly on 2 Jun. 2011
Format: Paperback
I'm a normal everyday person with a few complications in my life. I came across this book by accident and its a little gem. Each chapter is like a mini consultation with a trusted advisor. There are 40 chapters, each about 4 pages long so I make that 40 little lessons. Each chapter is stand alone so you don't have to read each chapter in sequence or in fact read all the chapters. I've read the chapters in a particular sequence helpful to me and not in the sequence they were written. I find one or two chapters a day is about the right pace to absorb and learn from the lesson. If you've ever wondered if it might just be you?....and not someone else...who is responsible for some of the complications in your life, then I recommend this book to you. This book has helped me to change the way I look at and deal with many things in my life. Quite simply one of the best books I have ever bought.
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 25 Dec. 1998
Format: Paperback
Dr. Goulston writes with humor, humility, and humanity. You feel like he's been there. It's easy to be open to his advice and act on it.
I related to many of the 40 self-defeating behaviors, but none more than procrastination, which has caused me to miss many boats over many years. Dr. G's insight is that procrastination is related to loneliness, and that if we can find ways to partner with other people, it helps us stop procrastinating. I've been putting that technique to work on writing projects (talking about lonely!) and it has been helping me for the past several months.
When I first read of the relationship between procrastination and loneliness, I told our friend Veronica about it. Veronica is a single parent, the mother of two young girls. She told me that the night before, tired after a full day at work, she had faced the task of cleaning out the kids' closet. She wanted to go to sleep rather than face that closet alone. Instead, she called a friend on her portable phone and talked to the friend for two hours while cleaning out the closet. Veronica overcame loneliness and procrastination, and confirmed Dr. Goulston's insight, all with one phone call.
My wife was also impressed with the book, although she tends to dismiss pop psych books. She says I should definitely use the book to overcome my self-defeating behaviors (I've noticed her employing a few of Dr. G's suggestions as well). Now I'm going to reread it.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 6 Dec. 1997
Format: Paperback
Goulston and Goldberg's book is the first self-help book my husband has ever read. He told me it was because it had no psychobabble and gave him steps he could use. (It also helped him to forgive his dad after 20 years). Each chapter is only 3-4 pages so someone like my husband can get in and out of the book in five miutes and get something he can use immediately. He even said he'd read another book by these guys.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 6 Dec. 1997
Format: Paperback
I been getting in my own way all of my life. I just would not admit it to myself until I got this book. A fellow inmate here at Terminal Island took back his copy of Get Out of Your Way, but after I wrote Mr. Goulston, he was kind enough to send me my own copy. I read this book already 4 times and I'm gonna use it in my life when I get outta here so I never have to go back to prison. Thank you Mr. Goulstone.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful By A. Jones on 18 Feb. 2009
Format: Paperback
This is a pleasant, easy to read book that gives you 'at a glance' overviews for a vast range of self defeating behaviours. However, the introduction was a little sparse and doesn't really provide enough information on where self defeating behaviours come from or why they endure.

I would say it is ideal as a self help book, but is not in depth enough for clinicians or those on a professional study course who will need more information.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Deborah Guy on 9 Feb. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a fantastic book and I will use it for the rest of my life. The information is very well presented and informative. One of the best self help books out there and I have read alot.
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