- Unknown Binding
- Publisher: Penguin Books (1975)
- Language English
- ASIN: B0007C4LME
- Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
161 of 162 people found the following review helpful
Format:Mass Market Paperback
This book is a gem. While it lacks a coherent structure, and leaves the reader sometimes puzzled by gaps in the exposition, overall it is original, insightful and amusing. Dr Berne's 'game' theory of human relationships was later refined by him, but this slim book outlines his main argument (the principles of Transactional Analysis) and is the first of the books that gained him public acclaim.
Dr Berne's theory is based on the idea that 'Games' provide a means to an end. They structure our time, and enable us to 'belong' to social groups: an important factor in survival. However, they are limiting, in the sense that they are almost always negative; learned from our parents, or based on narrow influences. The games have names such as: 'See What You Made Me Do' ; 'Ain't It Awful'; and 'I'm Only Trying To Help You'. It is easy to recognise games in action, having read the book. Ultimately, the individual has the choice to continue to play games, or to stop playing games (not easy) and to strive for autonomy.
It is hard to believe this book was written in 1964 - it feels so modern. 'Timeless' is probably the best way to describe it. Are you 'Waiting For Rigor Mortis To Set In', or (essentially the same) spending your days playing 'Waiting For Santa Claus' ?
Read this book, and see how many games you and yours play in your daily life - and why! This book is a must for anyone interested in psychotherapy, or in books which aim to help the individual live a more rewarding life.
Dr Berne's theory is based on the idea that 'Games' provide a means to an end. They structure our time, and enable us to 'belong' to social groups: an important factor in survival. However, they are limiting, in the sense that they are almost always negative; learned from our parents, or based on narrow influences. The games have names such as: 'See What You Made Me Do' ; 'Ain't It Awful'; and 'I'm Only Trying To Help You'. It is easy to recognise games in action, having read the book. Ultimately, the individual has the choice to continue to play games, or to stop playing games (not easy) and to strive for autonomy.
It is hard to believe this book was written in 1964 - it feels so modern. 'Timeless' is probably the best way to describe it. Are you 'Waiting For Rigor Mortis To Set In', or (essentially the same) spending your days playing 'Waiting For Santa Claus' ?
Read this book, and see how many games you and yours play in your daily life - and why! This book is a must for anyone interested in psychotherapy, or in books which aim to help the individual live a more rewarding life.
201 of 204 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Years ago I chose not to pursue an education in psychology, but I retain a strong interest, if only to make sense of a world where motivations are often misguided and true intent is hard to perceive.
'Games People Play' explains and analyses, with pertinent real-life examples, the continual stuggle between our inner child, parent and adult to dominate a social situation, colloquially termed as 'games'. It explains that the outcome of these games are a fundamental human requirement, and by understanding the way these games are played we learn to understand the motivations of ourselves and our peers.
The first time I read this book, I instantly recognised real life occasions where the information contained was relevant and useful. If you have only a passing interest in psychology, you will still occassionally sit upright while reading and say to yourself - 'So this is why people act like that'.
Some of the passages are eminently quotable - "Everyone carries a little boy or girl around inside of him", and at the very least by remembering some of these key phrases, you will begin to understand the desires and reactions of others.
This is no pop-psychology rubbish - it is clinical psychology explained at a fundamental level, and crafted to be accessible and useful for everyone. The book is rarely dry and monotonous, and I was pleased to find some extremely humorous passages.
I challenge anyone to read this book and not find a revelation or two inside.
125 of 128 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I had heard of Transactional Analysis as part of a self-development training course at work, where TA was used to explain how conflicts in the workplace occur and what can be done to prevent them.
With some serious relationship problems outside the workplace, I bought Games People Play with the hope it could help to explain some of the things that have been going wrong. I wasn't disappointed, and quite apart from help me do some self-analysis, it has allowed me to see just how many "games" are played by others.
As well as being of great personal benefit, I found descriptions of some of the games (such as Alcoholic and Courtroom) very interesting. Alcoholic, in particlar, is given several pages, as one of the most complicated and destructive games that people play - and even goes some way to explaining how and why AA are effective in helping people.
If the book has a down side, it's perhaps only that it doesn't work as a self-help title without some serious thinking, honesty and soul-searching by the reader. However, it is really not meant as a self-help title and it would be wrong to judge it as one.
On the whole, though, a very interesting study of human behaviour and a good set of "worked examples" for anyone trying to understand Transactional Analysis.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Foundations of TA
I have been introduced to TA through one of my college professors, and he recommended this book in the first place. Read more
Published 21 days ago by Csaba Almási
A classic title that has so much to teach us
This book changes people's lives because it enables us to understand why people behave as they do and teaches us how to manage our own behaviour in some very challenging... Read more
Published 29 days ago by emmeline
still waiting to recieve it!!!!
ordered this book on the 5th april 2012 for an assignment i was doing on TA. was told i would recieve the product by 13th april. Read more
Published 1 month ago by k.collins
Kindle Version: index of p & g not working
This is a review of the Kindle conversion and not the book itself.
There is an index of Pastimes and Games included at the end of the book but they point to the wrong... Read more
There is an index of Pastimes and Games included at the end of the book but they point to the wrong... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Ryan Cocks
Too Deep
Read other reviews regarding this book, thought it would give me an incite into Sociopaths and how they operate. Read more
Published 2 months ago by justjohn
Twaddle Personified
This is a vastly over-rated book. Berne's analysis of human relationships is both crude and confused. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Allan Campbell
Nothing that any moderately intelligent person couldn't figure out for...
I expected a revelation of deep thinking here, after some enthusiastic recommendation of friends, but after about 30 pages, I found the book merely supported the observations of... Read more
Published 4 months ago by T. West
The Games People Play
Great insight into the understanding of human interaction. Especially interesting to those that are in a relationship with someone that is inclined to deliberate manipulation. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Claire CC
Games people play
fast prompt delivery, good product, excellent read, have to write more words so i am going to reccomend this to anyone that is interested in human relationships, whether you are a... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Willis
Intriguing intro to TA
An essential introduction to Transactional Analysis. It's written in a way that is intriguing and interesting though. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Peter W. Burden
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